Category Archives: Hospital Stay
He Doesn’t Have a Heart
I held my son last night. Held and rocked his cold body. He felt no colder than had we taken a wake and the breeze was blowing on his face. In the minutes before going down to see him, I … Continue reading
Filed under Hospital Stay, Mommyhood Meditations, Posted by Melissa
Three
When pregnant I told the following story so many times. When we found out we were having twins we were so excited. We felt so blessed to have twins. Doug’s brother and sister are twins. So special. Then we found … Continue reading
Filed under Hospital Stay, Mommyhood Meditations, Posted by Melissa
Warrior March
The anesthesiologists came at exactly 6:15. She asked me if there was anything she could do and I said to take note of the time when she turns the ventilator off. She promised. We all walked Owen down to the … Continue reading
Filed under Hospital Stay, Mommyhood Meditations, Posted by Melissa
I only asked for two things
The time is set. Owen goes into surgery at 6:15pm. About two hours. We opted last night to do an autopsy. Since there isn’t a positive idea of why Owen stopped breathing, we felt it was the responsible thing to … Continue reading
Filed under Hospital Stay, Mommyhood Meditations, Posted by Melissa
Lift them up
I was pretty nervous about coming home last night. Leaving my Owen alone in the hospital. But after seeing the three boys smiling, I know I made a choice I can live with. Right is hardly appropriate for the decision … Continue reading
Filed under Hospital Stay, Mommyhood Meditations, Posted by Melissa
Little Warrior
If we haven’t been through enough. The apnea test needed a certain number difference on his CO2 levels. Want to know what it came back at? THREE points short of being able to legally declare him brain dead. Honestly? So … Continue reading
Filed under Hospital Stay, Mommyhood Meditations
Nothing
He’s gone and for once I’m at a loss of words. Nothing.
Filed under Hospital Stay, Mommyhood Meditations
Where we’re at
More waiting. We met with the BloodCenter of Wisconsin about Owen’s donations/gifts. Filled put all kinds paperwork. Was asked all kinds of family medical questions. (which ironically I found humor in the questions). I’ll be able to hold Owen one … Continue reading
Filed under Hospital Stay, Mommyhood Meditations
Lasts
I helped with Owen’s care for one of the last times tonight. I can’t remember the last time I saw his eyes full of life. My last memory of him is when he was sleeping his his bouncy chair. My … Continue reading
Filed under Hospital Stay, Mommyhood Meditations
The truth is heavy
This isn’t the blog I wanted to write. This is the news I knew of but didn’t want to hear. The truth, as heavy as I imagined. They ran the test but couldn’t finish. His blood pressure is too low … Continue reading
Filed under Hospital Stay, Mommyhood Meditations
