Category Archives: Jaden Story

Jaden’s Family Portrait

I knew it would happen some day … I just didn’t think it would happen so soon. Jaden made a wonderful drawing of our family … Without Owen in it.

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Let me first point out that 1+4=5 :) haha I wasn’t mad that Owen wasn’t on the drawing but it made me sad. I know Jaden, nor anyone else, has forgotten Owen. It’s normal, natural and healthy to move on. The painful truth is that we only have 5 people living in our house.

It was the first family portrait of only 5 … And I know it won’t be the last. And that’s ok. They just won’t ever look “right” to me. They will always look like they are hiding something. Even though the picture might now show it … We are always a family of 6 and I have 4 children.

Love, Mel

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Filed under Grief, Jaden Story, Owen's Gone, Posted by Melissa

A Bushel and a Peck

I’ve started singing the song “A Bushel and a Peck” around the house and to Jaden.  In fact, Jaden and I looked up the song on YouTube to learn the words.  I’m HORRIBLE with remembering lyrics and usually just make up my own.  Tonight, When putting Jaden to bed, he started to sing to song to me. Of course when I tried to record it, he made me sing with him.

There isn’t anything cuter than a child’s voice singing “A Bushel and a Peck”!

Love, Mel

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Prospector Chips

I think I’ve written about this before … But Jaden has a TON of food allergies. So when we find “regular” food for him to eat, it’s a big deal!! A while ago, we found a tortilla chip that he can have called Xochitl. They are fantastic! I love them too!

One day Jaden asked me for “the prospector” chips. What the …??? I didn’t know what he was talking about until he pointed out the bag. I just started to laugh … This might be the greatest nickname ever!

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Get it!?!?

Love, Mel

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The Tooth Fairy DISASTER!

Jaden lost his second tooth just before Christmas and I almost blew the Tooth Fairy cover!!!  The night he lost his tooth, he didn’t want to put it under his pillow because he wanted to bring it to school in hopes of getting a coveted ”tooth necklace.”  Apparently, if you lose a tooth at school you get this plastic necklace to put your tooth in and wear for the day.  Well, I guess Jaden really wanted one.  I explained to him that he had a good chance of losing his tooth if he brought it to school, but he assured me he would be careful.  I figured if all else failed, it would be a learning experience.

The next day, after putting Jaden to bed, he wanted me to lay with him for a bit.  I decided to stall a bit and clean out his backpack before Christmas break.  I threw out old tissues, paper scraps and empty snack baggies.  When I laid down with him, he remembered he needed to put his tooth under his pillow!  It was at that moment I remembered I had put his tooth in a ziploc baggie — the same kind of “empty snack baggies” I had just thrown out.  Crap – I threw his tooth out!  I told Jaden I’d get his tooth for him.  I quickly checked the kitchen garbage to see if it was laying on top.  No such luck.  The tooth had been eaten by nasty garbage and food scraps from dinner.

Thinking quick on my feet, I put a popcorn kernel in a new ziploc (just in case he reached his hand under his pillow to feel for the tooth).  Jaden fell fast asleep not knowing any different.

Here is where I really messed up …. I FORGOT TO PUT THE DOLLAR UNDER HIS PILLOW!!!  I went to bed totally forgetting about the whole thing.  In fact, I didn’t remember about it until I was at church the following morning and a friend’s daughter proudly showed me that she had lost tooth.  Crap.  Could I be lucky enough that Jaden forgot to check for the dollar too?  Then I could swap the popcorn kernel for the green bill without him ever knowing a difference.

No such luck.  Again.  I secretly asked Doug if Jaden had noticed the missing dollar bill.

Doug told me that he had thought enough to move the Elf on the Shelf before Jaden noticed.  He place him flying on Jaden’s bedroom ceiling fan.  When Jaden found the popcorn kernel in a ziploc baggie, he was totally confused.  BUT … thank goodness for a child’s imagination! … he blamed Snowball-Owen (our Elf on a Shelf) for swapping out his tooth for a kernel.  The naughty Elf stole his tooth … that was why the tooth fairy hadn’t come.

Phew did I get lucky or what?!?!

That night Jaden and I wrote the Tooth Fairy a note and placed it under his pillow.

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I was SURE to remember to swap out the note for the $1 that time and even wrote him a note back … in glittery ink too.  I had to go all out … he can’t stop believing at 6!  There is so much magic still left!

Jaden was pumped that he got a special note.  He is even more convinced that Snowball-Owen is a mischievous Elf … all is right in the world again!  Phew!  If only that lazy Tooth Fairy would get her own teeth!  Us parents wouldn’t have so much pressure of doing it ourselves :)

Love, Mel

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Keeping the Spirit of Christmas Magic Alive

The holiday season is equally filled with the truth of Christ’s birth as well as the story of Santa.  Some would actually argue that it’s more about Santa … I’ve often wondered about what the perfect balance is to keep the Christmas spirit alive … how much effort do you really need to put forth to keep Santa ‘real’ for our little ones?

We’ve adopted the Elf on the Shelf to our holiday traditions this year.  We have had a lot of fun finding Snowball-Owen (Jaden named him) all over the house doing things like hanging from the ceiling fan, on top of the xmas tree, playing with Jaden’s toys and so on.  It’s incredible how easily Jaden believed that this little plastic doll comes to life in the middle of the night to create a little mischief (and of course report to Santa on if he is being naughty or nice).

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If only our own faith is as easy as a child makes it appear to be.  One part of Jaden’s prayer with Isaac (see A Play Date for Jaden) keeps finding it’s way into my daily thoughts.  ”If he [Owen] is ok, will you send me a sign?”

When growing up my sister liked to test the concept of all those imaginary characters we tell children about (the Tooth Fairy, Santa, the Easter Bunny).  She’d leave notes asking if they would leave her just a little something to let her know that they were real.  Just a little sign to know that she could keep believing.  My mom went to great lengths to keep her Christmas magic alive.  She was up until the wee hours of the night painting golden eggs from the Easter Bunny and finding the perfect white fluff from Santa’s coat.  If you ask my mom about it – she will groan and start to say what a pain Rachael was about these things.  But if you get her talking enough – she’ll begin to tell you how she secretly loved it.  She had fun and took delight in fueling the magic.

Here is where I get torn – Jaden is asking for a sign from God.  My first reaction was to find something to leave out for Jaden to show him that God is real.  I want to teach him that God listens to your prayers – He hears you when you reach out to Him.  But isn’t this where faith is supposed to take over?  Believing in something you can’t see?  Wouldn’t I be starting something much larger that could potentially set him up for disappointment and doubt later?  God doesn’t always answer your prayers … Garth Brooks song anyone?  Or at least He doesn’t answer them the way we hope He will or in the timing we want Him to.

I just don’t want the magic to die for him.  I love that he chose to pray when he missed his brother.  It’s something I sometimes forget to do myself.  My mother reminded me that rather than step in – I should sit back and pray about it myself.  Lift Jaden up in prayer that he might receive the reassurance and comfort he needs.  I should cultivate his relationship with God with prayer rather than control.  Perhaps my thought to intervene is proof of my own doubt.  Maybe God has a far better way to reassure him that Owen is in heaven.  As much fun and delight I would have working hard at night, planning something orange for Jaden to wake up to – I’ll kneel instead.  I’ll fold my hands and bow my head.

Dear God, Thank you for blessing me with such a wonderful and faithful boy Jaden.  You know his heart far better than I ever will.  I pray that you will offer him the comfort and reassurance he needs to know that his brother Owen is in heaven with you.  May he feel your love even when he is uncertain.  Let the answers to his questions lead back to you.  Protect him and guide him in places I cannot.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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A Play Date for Jaden!

Jaden had his first play date with a school friend today.  We called his friend, Isaac, to see if he wanted to go to a gymnastic academy’s open gym.  Jaden did a happy dance through the house when he said yes!

We played a short game of “I Spy” and talked about Christmas.  Then I heard Jaden lean over to Isaac and say this:

I miss my brother Owen today.  Would you like to pray with me?  Dear God, today is a thankful day.  A different day wasn’t so good.  I miss my brother Owen.  Everyday when you see him, will you make sure he is ok and let him know I love him?  If he is ok, will you give me a sign?  Thank you very much.  Amen.

Where did this come from?  What on earth did my son find the courage to ask his friend to pray with him?  I was so so so proud of him and knew I must have done or shown him something right.  I choked by the tears as I tried to find something else we could all talk about – I didn’t want my silence and awe to make Jaden feel like he had done something wrong – when what he did was so right.

Walking into the gymnastic’s academy, I thought I had everything under control.  I had taken the triplets to open gym twice before so I had the whole thing scoped out … I knew what to do.  When we got to the gym, I sort of panicked a little — it wasn’t like the open house’s I’ve taken the babies to during the week.  Mind you, I expected the kids to be bigger, I didn’t expect there to be 10 times more of them and it to be MASS CHAOS!  I watched from the parent’s room as the boys ran in two different directions and almost got trampled.  They didn’t understand that kids were forming lines to take turns jumping and using the equipment.  So off went my shoes and I headed to the sea of kids to help the two boys out.

We jumped on the trampolines.  We jumped into the giant pit of foam blocks.  At one point the boys were getting stuck in the foam blocks (I swear it’s like quick sand trying to get out of this thing) and Jaden leans over the edge and reaches out his hand.  He yells, “Isaac, quick! Grab my hand!  I’ll save you!  You’re my bestest friend ever!”  Super cute, right?

As the night went on, I could tell when the boys kicked into overtired mode.  They started giggling and getting really silly.  At one point Isaac just plopped over and laid flat on his back in the middle of the floor.  I looked down over him and asked him if he was tired.  He nodded … then jumped to his feet and ran off to the next thing.  Pretty sure he just kept moving so he didn’t fall asleep standing up.

We finished up the night with getting a treat out of the vending machine.  I handed each boy a dollar bill and helped them push the buttons.  Of course both boys picked out candy – noooo they couldn’t have picked something like goldfish crackers or pretzels, could they?  Ha!

Our first school friend play date was wonderful!  The boys played well together and they both had a lot of fun!  I really hope we can continue having these kinds of play dates :)  And to think I was so nervous about having the first play date!!

Love, Mel

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December 14, 2012 · 11:26 pm

An overdue update

I wish I felt more inspired to write these days. There are tons of thoughts, revelations and meditations all floating around in my head. They just don’t seem to want to flow to paper when I finally have time to blog. I usually feel inspired to write something profound after my morning shower (probably a little weird but true) or after I’ve read a chapter in a new book I’m reading, “Un-Glued”. Which I totally recommend to read … But more on that later.

I was thinking about how I was thankful that school would be starting up soon. I desperately miss the quiet two hours in the middle of my day while the babies napped and jaden was still at school. And then I thought about how much I would miss him after the first week or so. How with each year he gains more independence and he will be spending more and more time away from home. I reminded myself to find the strength to embrace these days, as crazy and stressful as they are, for one day they will be over. That doesn’t mean I don’t still look forward to the comfort of our old routine … I just need to take a few moments here and there over the next week to appreciate what I have.

Which reminds me … Jaden lost his first tooth the other night! I’d been begging him to just pull it for two weeks and it finally popped out when we were wiggling it in the mirror after we brushed teeth! He was so surprised that it didn’t hurt! His wide eyes when it all happened were priceless! He was even more excited when he found a dollar bill under his pillow the next morning from the Tooth Fairy!

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If only that still worked with adults! Just imagine if it only took someone hiding a dollar bill under your pillow for you to wake up with a smile on your face that would last all day. Imagine being so excited you had to tell everyone you came in contact with — Neighbors, Wal-Mart cashiers, bank tellers, barber, mailman, your boss … You name it! Well that’s what Jaden did at least …

Love, Mel

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Jaden the Song Writer

A while back, Jaden started playing with a toy guitar.  He wrote tons and tons of songs for me that day.  Many of them just repeated the same word(s) over and over … but he was totally enjoying himself and I was proud of him for being so creative!

I was lucky enough to get him to perform my favorite song for me on video.  Of course you’ll hear at the beginning of the video I had to get his permission to publish it.  I thought I would share for you all to enjoy too!

And just as quick as he sang his song he was off talking about something else … Uncle Jake’s baseball game.  Gosh I love that kid!  Never a dull moment.

Love, Mel

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Mohawk

Jaden has been begging me for a Mohawk for almost six months. I told him we weren’t going to do it during the school year because I didn’t want his teachers to think he was a hooligan. He didn’t forget and the last day of school, he came home asking when he could get his hair cut. I suppose he was pretty set on it.

I couldn’t go back on my word. So one day this week, after the babies woke up from their nap, we called Cost Cutters to see how long the wait was. There was NO wait! That was our cue to jump in the car and get the hair cut of Jaden’s dreams. I only had two rules … 1. There had to be some hair on his entire head. We were not going to Bic the sides! 2. If he started to act like a punk, we would need to go back to a regular hair cut because I like my boys nice and sweet.

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The after
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He had THE biggest smile on his face … It was worth every penny of the $15.

That night at his tball game, he kept looking at himself in the reflection of his friends sunglasses. Gently touching the top of his head to make sure it was still spiked. Then the next morning we woke up and the first thing he said was “Mom, do I still have my Mohawk?” Again, gently touching the top of his head. When I explained that he did and would every morning he woke up because that’s how his hair was cut. He was even more excited! “Cool mom its permanent!”

Needless to say, I think the Mohawk fits him well … But then again I’m pretty sure I think my kid is pretty darn cute all of the time. Ok, I’m a little biased!

Love, Mel

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Jaden’s Branching Out from 4K

Today I was one proud mama.  I can’t believe my little, baby (ok almost 6 year old) Jaden graduated from 4K today.  Doug, his mom (Pam), my dad (Pa), the triplets and myself all attended his Branching Out ceremony.

The backdrop was super cute with a tree for each of the elementary schools the kids would be attending next year.  (In the Sussex Hamilton school district, all 4K classes are held in one school.)

Of course when the kids came on stage, all the parents went nuts waving and trying to get their kid to notice them.  Some even leaped out of their chairs … haha  Jaden found us after a bit of searching.  Pretty sure he was more excited to wave to his babies than me.  Oh well …

They started out the ceremony with showing us how well they can say the Pledge of Alligence.  Of course my kid is doing everything BUT saying the pledge.  Still love him thought :)

Then they sang some songs – which were delightful!

Then each child’s name was announced along with the elementary school they would be “branching out” to.  They each got to shake Dr T’s hand and pose for a great picture.  Gosh does it get any cuter than this??

ps I told him to tuck in his shirt!  blah!  boys …

Jaden & his locker!

Jaden has had an amazing two years at Willow.  His teachers (and all of the other teachers for that matter) have taught Jaden not only things like how to write his name and how to count to 100, but also how to be a friend and better person.  They have taught him manners and how to deal with his emotions (any other mom’s heard of Tucker the Turtle?).

Thank you Willow Springs for all of the gifts you have given Jaden.  He is a better kid because of you!

To Jaden – Mom is very proud of you!  You have come so far.  I remember last year when we were both crying as I was trying to get you to write your name on your valentines.  Now you color and draw for hours.  You can write your name clearly and know how to spell a few other words.  I couldn’t be prouder of the little (funny) young man you are growing up to be.  Keep being you because that’s who God made you to be!

Love, Mel

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Filed under Jaden, Jaden Story, Milestones, Posted by Melissa