How can you not still smile this week after this video?
This is why I still can laugh and smile through all the crap. I truly am blessed.
How can you not still smile this week after this video?
This is why I still can laugh and smile through all the crap. I truly am blessed.
I realized it’s been a while since I had a photo shoot with the boys! So the other day, I sat with my camera and snapped some pictures while the babies played.
The boys started getting silly – then they really let loose, screaming and jumping …. and taking socks off
I love the happiness in Weston’s face here:
I looked over and found Logan sitting with all the pillow pets, looking out the window. He fits right in with them!
Here are the two boys helping each other get into trouble. Logan took the pillow out and handed it to Weston. Then Weston watched while Logan crawled into the cubby hole and unplugged the TV. I can’t imagine the shenanigans they are going to get into when they are 7 let along 16 ….
I really love the triplet table … but the boys have been interested in sitting at the kitchen table like Jaden and I do for meals. So, I dug out the booster seats. They love it! They can look at each other. They can’t reach each other’s plates and steal the “good” food off of one another’s plates. Weston can’t reach Logan head to pull his hair when he is done eating and bored. We only have four kitchen chairs though … I’m not quite ready to sell the triplet table, but I think I might be getting close to.
Those are the triplets! They really need hair cuts … and I swear, the more time that goes by, the more different they look from each other. Just can’t believe how big they are.
I think Logan was given the wrong name … he should have been Jack. Here is why:
This one wasn’t successful. Just as I was ready to snap the picture, he toppled backwards and bumped his head. I still took the photo. Because I’m THAT mom
Why limit yourself to climbing into boxes when you can stand in a drum?
Why stay in the box when you can climb up and sit on the window sill?
Naked baby climbing into my cupboards.
Weston trying to be like his “bigger” brother!
What is better than one baby in a box? THREE babies in a box! It was so much fun listening to all of their belly laughs as they climbed all over each other.
Get it? Logan should have been named Jack … Jack in a box?
In college, I lived next door to a group of guys. I dated one of the guy’s best friends. Well one of these friends had a serious girlfriend. Long story short, Shanna’s now husband and my now ex-boyfriend were friends in college. Crazy to think that we are both married and have kids of our own. Things change so much. We are not Peter Pan … we have to grow up at some point I guess.
When Shanna approached me about doing a photo session, I checked out her website www.shannaallen.com Her photography is fresh and natural. I fell in love with her style immediately.
She’s located in the Green Bay area so when we were in GB for our Bissing family Christmas and our schedules aligned for a photo session, I had to say yes!
Check out her amazing photos here.
I’m super excited to get a bunch of the pictures printed, in frames and on my walls! (hello 2012 new year resolution #3). Moral of this story … I totally recommend Shanna Allen Photography!
We woke up to snow this morning … yep, the white nasty stuff. We sang happy birthday to all three of the boys this morning before Doug headed off to work. I was picking out clothes for Jaden and suggested he wear green and blue for the birthday boys. He reminded me that he needed orange too. I found some orange Halloween pumpkin socks. He suggested orange pants. Then I remembered we had a pair of orange sweatpants from a pumpkin costume. So here is what Jaden picked out to wear today in honor of his brother’s birthday:
Dear heavens I hope his teachers get the drift that he dressed himself today
After I walked Jaden to the bus stop, the triplets and I had a laid back morning. We played with the new musical instruments the boys got a their party. I drank a pot of coffee. By myself. Didn’t get to shower though … That’s ok, playing is more fun anyways. I got the boys dressed in some new shirts … blue and green of course and snapped their 12 month photos.
We even snuck a play date in with Layla … The three babies had a ton of fun stealing each other’s sippy cups at lunch and popping all the balloon I blew up for a mock party.
Doug has been saying since the triplets were born that he wants them to be walking before their first birthday. I’ve said he’s freaking nuts!!! Walking babies are much harder than crawling babies. In just the past few days, the triplets started to stand on their own, without holding onto something. Wouldn’t you know … Weston took a step today! That little booger. He got so excited with me hooting and hollering that he couldn’t stand up on his own …. he just kept bouncing. So Doug didn’t get his whole wish … but a little bit
As I’m watching the boys play, I started watching the snow falling. They were those huge fat flakes … the kind that make you want to dance in the snow. I started thinking about Owen and angels … and heaven. An image of an angel baby with big fluffy white feathered wings … what if, just what if, the angel babies were celebrating Owen’s first birthday so hard, their feathers were falling from heaven. The snow. You know like one of those pillow fights from the movies with the girls jumping on beds in their underwear, hitting each other with pillows and feathers exploding all over the place.
The orange marigolds I planted in memory of Owen are still in bloom. The bright orange color showing through the falling snow was a reminder that he is here. (these are actual photos of the plant outside our front door)
We enjoyed some more cake tonight too … Owen’s smash cake. Along with the lit orange candle on the dinner table, it was our way of including him in our family dinner. The boys were much more ‘dainty’ with it this time around. They still needed baths though
Lately I’ve been having these very real experiences of feeling Owen. I feel like a flake for admitting this. I swear I’m not trying to go all Jerry Springer physic on you. But I just have these feelings like he is really here. Sometimes I want to reach out and rub my hand across the top of his head like I used to. I can still feel it. His hair was the smoothest of them all and his head was the roundest. I want to kiss the top of his head like I do with Logan and Weston. Instinct. I do it so often, most times I don’t know I’m doing it. Instinct.
When we were in the hospital I was in tune to these feelings. I had time to sit and absorb. To feel. To think. The rest of the world seemed to stand still while we were in this small room. I was able to think. Real life is nothing like the protected little hospital room. It’s fast paced, racing time, chaos. Time is limited and there is not silence for me to think in. I remember searching for him … praying that Owen would come back. Certain he was not in the child’s body that lay in my son’s hospital bed. Leaving a light on for him, just hoping he’d find his way back to me. I didn’t know if he would stay, but I didn’t want his spirit to leave me. It’s been nearly 6 months before I’ve been in tune with this feeling again. He’s just been right here … you know when something works for so long on its own, you forget what it’s like to not have it. I haven’t felt a need to search for him. I haven’t felt him leave me.
Until that night with the lanterns. He left me and now he’s back. He’s back so real I want to reach out and touch him sometimes. Please don’t mistake this for some Hollywood type movie where the guy is talking to his dead wife and people on the street look at him like he’s nuts – talking to himself. I have complete awareness of reality … I’m not seeing dead people. The feeling is just strong.
As I sit on the couch with my glass of wine, typing my little heart out, I hear the triplet’s cooing and talking in bed. What the heck is going on? If the babies wake up in the middle of the night, they cry, yell and scream. They don’t play. Has Owen made a birthday visit to them? Are Logan and Weston talking to Owen? Am I sitting on my couch listening to my angel baby talk with my earthly babies? Or is it just a coincidence? Am I trying to convince myself of the things I want to believe in?
I suppose this is what faith is about. Not always having the proof you want in order to believe what you should. I try to listen to my heart. If I want to believe these magical and spiritual happenings are true …. what is the harm? If this is God’s gift to me on my boy’s birthday then who I am I to turn it away? Thank you for these blessings. Thank you for allowing my heart to be open and to feel the holy spirit.
It’s been a good birthday … a good birthday indeed.
Trying something a little different this time … here is a slideshow of the boy’s 10 month old photos. Although I think they are closer to 11 months old by this point Where does the time go?
Here are all the fun and new things the boys are up to:
I’m really late … like they are almost 10 months old, but I finally took the boy’s 9 month old photos. So much has changed with them that I feel like I could write forever! I think the best way to tackle this is with a list. Man I love lists ….
Not only are the boys eating a ton and trying all kinds of new foods, they are WAY more mobile! Weston pulled himself up to his feet first. We found him after his nap on his knees, hanging his arms over the edge, yelling and screaming. Doug and I lowered the cribs immediately! Logan still has a little trouble getting up to his feet but can do it if he really wants to. He’s got a big old Buddha belly to pull up. Just today, Weston pulled himself up on the couch, walked all the way to the other end of the couch and was really thinking about trying to reach for the basket close by. He was bouncing his knees and reaching out his hand as if he really wanted to, but wasn’t quite sure he would make it. My bet is that he wouldn’t have. But they’ve got to learn, right?
They have started to know their names. Not always, but most of the time, they’ll look when I sing their name. They really respond to smiling and laughing. I can coax Logan all the way back from the other side of the kitchen by calling his name and making baby faces at him. Logan also likes to crawl into the kitchen when I’m cooking and grabs at my feet so I pick him up. Weston does the same, but he usually just pulls himself up to standing while holding onto my pants.
They don’t like it when I leave the room. Not always … but most of the time they are more aware of who is around.
Both of them LOVE their big brother. Jaden can do just about anything and get them to laugh and giggle. I’m talking full out screams, bloody murder, hysteria. And Jaden comes along and the boys are all smiles. Brotherhood is a tight bond.
I’m really enjoying the triplet’s age. You can play with them … make them laugh and giggle. They also can occupy themselves just a little (with the right rattle or toy of course). Just like with Jaden, each age gets better and better.
So we moved to the couch. They sat a little better … but they sure are silly! Note that Weston’s outfit isn’t snapped in the crotch – not because I was lazy or forgot … the kid won’t sit still long enough to get the snapped! I gave up ….
And here is a close up (and a little blurry) picture of Logan’s new face … tongue up over his top lip, smacking … and drooling of course. Reminds me of the face Owen used to make in one of the last videos of him. It’s not sad to me though, I find it comforting. They have a little bit of Owen with them.
I’m an awful mom … things got so crazy, I never got pictures of Weston on his own. Terrible. Next time I’ll take a few extra
ps Jaden starts school in 13 days! yikes!
We are having a blast at the lake house this summer! We are one week in and have just under a week left. We have done everything from swim in the pool, swim in the lake, bonfire, tubing, water skiing, cooking, walks, water balloons, naps in the sun, staying up all night with a crying Logan, enjoying some adult beverages, playing video games with Jaden …. anything I’m missing? Probably.
The babies have been a handful to say the least … up from midnight to 4am almost every night. Last night was the first night that Logan only got up once for a bottle then slept til around 6am.
There are times that I think “thank goodness we only have 2 babies … could you imagine three like this?” Disgusting. I didn’t serve to have triplets with thoughts like that. I deserve this pain, this loss. I didn’t deserve such a blessing if I can be thankful for it to be taken away. This thought invades my day, springs into my thoughts at the least expected time. I try to push it out … try not to believe it or let it take over. But it’s there … with it’s own time and strength.
I find joy in playing with Jaden, jumping into the pool. Logan loves the pool ans splashes and jumps. Weston? You put him in his floaty and he pretty falls asleep instantly. We’ve taken the babies swimming a few times, and every time Weston falls asleep almost immediately.
Pictures always say a thousand words … and I have a thousand photos! Here are a few of my favorites.
Had a play date at the lake house! I have Weston, Rachael has Logan and a good friend Moushira has her daughter Layla. Just so you know boys … she has already been promised to Logan … just in case you were wondering! Anyone notice the themed hats? Lighting McQueen and Tow Mater?
My favorite part about this vacation is being with family. We are all living all over each other like we were at mom’s after Owen died. All under the same roof, eating meals together, helping out. I’ve laughed really hard. It’s been a great relaxation. I have a feeling it’s going to be over way too soon!