Three Times the Fun

Happy Mother’s Day!

Mel — Mon, 13 May 2013 02:47:07 +0000

Happy Mother’s Day to all my mama readers! Moms – Grandmas – Step Moms – Birth Moms – Godmothers – the list goes on forever …. And a special mother’s day to all those mom’s of angels. Some years it hits us harder than others.

For me, it was a good year – of course I missed Owen – but the celebration of the day out weighed the sadness this time. I recognize that it might not be true every year – or true for all the upcoming anniversaries and holidays that remind me so much of when I had three babies on earth. The spring reminds me of the HUGE triplet stroller that I used to load up and take all the kids on a walk around the block just to get out of the four walls of my house. The open sidewalk was the only place I didn’t feel totally over sized. The spring reminds me of meeting a friend at the park with her two adorable boys – we lost touch until a year after Owen’s death and are now great friends. It reminds me of when my street was under construction and I used to rotate the triplets in the bumbo in front of the front door to the bay window to the coffee table – they would sit and watch the trucks for hours!

When I think of Mother’s Day I always think of this picture:

and this one ….

It’s the only photo(s) I have with all four of my children.

I go back and forth between feeling a huge whole in the middle of our family and not being able to imagine how I would keep up with a third one. Please don’t ever take what I just said as though I wouldn’t want a third one or that I would be able to handle it. I just can’t mentally picture what it would be like to have another two-year old into the mix of our daily lives. Weston and Logan keep me on my toes!!

This year, the boys and I went to church in the morning and then to my mom’s for the afternoon. We walked to the park and played for a while. Then three little girls came to play too …. triplet girls. What are the odds? A message or a sign from God? A coincidence? I’m not sure what the message was or if it was meant for me – but it did catch my breath to watch Logan and Weston play along side the three girls. It was pain strikingly clear that one of my children was missing at the park. There should have been three girls and four boys (including Jaden).

I got my annual picture with the boys again this year. The boys were already in their pj’s for the car ride home. What little monkeys! But they are, after all, the very reason why I’m a mom today. I told Jaden this morning that I had him to thank for being a mom – he was the one that gave me my supermom powers!

Happy Mother’s Day to everyone!!

Love, Mel

Logan Wasn’t Exactly Wrong

Mel — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 13:57:05 +0000

Last week the triplets and I spent almost everyday at church getting ready for the rummage. The first day they were pretty well behaved. I was able to work for hours getting everything sorted!! The second day they were still pretty good, but you could tell they were getting a little comfortable.

I was in the lobby sorting clothes and my friend, Jen, came out to tell me that Logan had taken his clothes off and was sitting on the potty saying “poo poo”. I jumped up right away — they aren’t potty trained yet! So I turned the corner ready to walk into the women’s bathroom when Jen turned right to enter the room where all the rummage toys were. I followed and found Logan!

He wasn’t exactly wrong … I couldn’t exactly be upset. But boy oh boy was I embarrassed! Logan had tried to use the pretty pink potty all by himself …. Just in a potty that was for sale!!! I was thankful for two things at that very moment. 1.The boys might be out of diapers soon. 2.The church had bleach in the maintenance room!!

The rummage was a huge success! We sold a ton of stuff and made a ton of money for our ministry. And the potty sold

Love, Mel

Supermom Rummage

Mel — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 03:40:38 +0000

Oh gosh, I’ve been horrible about blogging this past few months …

I wanted to let those of you in the Milwaukee area know about a HUGE Kid’s Toy & Clothing Rummage my church mom’s group is holding this upcoming weekend. We have 59 sellers registered … it’s gonna be awesome! Come on by Friday (noon-8pm) or Saturday (8am-noon) and get a great deal!

This week is going to be crazy busy with getting everything set up – but one thing is certain I LOVE any excuse I can find to spend time with my fellow Supermoms. These are honestly a group of the greatest women I have ever met. Looking forward to a busy-wonderful-crazy week and I look forward to seeing YOU at the sale!

Love, Mel

Grudges

Mel — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 23:48:53 +0000

Grudges. We all have them … unless you are Mother Teresa! I have them … and lately they have been causing me problems. I find myself reacting to the grudge I have with a person, rather than what they just said or did.

I heard a lesson on this same topic last week Thursday. The speaker said that holding a grudge is hard work – it takes a lot of energy and hateful emotion. Shouldn’t it be easier to just let it go? Picture your grudge as a heavy piece of luggage. Is it easier to drag it around with you wherever you go? Or just let go of the handle and leave it behind you? Free yourself of the weight that ties you down – the hoops of revenge you have to go through. If it’s so much easier to let a grudge go, why do people hang on to it for so long?

Good question. Why is that? I know that forgiving others who have wronged you is an important part of healing. You can’t heal a cut on your finger until the sliver is removed. I

It sounds so easy in theory but I honestly don’t know how I’m going to do it. I’ve tried. I’ve been praying for help in letting this one go. Ok – not as often as I could … maybe once a month … alright a few times here and there (mostly when I’m in church and we recite the Lord’s Prayer – forgive those who trespass against us). I just can’t can’t seem to let go. I’m still angry. I’m angry that things are different because of the choices they made. I’m mad that they hurt me so badly … and more than once. I’m frustrated that they didn’t listen to me.

I can feel the grudge living in my heart – right in my chest. It’s the heavy, dark part of my heart. Every time I find myself wanting to react to it, I can feel it like a rock in a balloon. My mind can’t seem to stay focused on what is currently happening. All I feel are the same feelings of when they betrayed me.

I was convicted last week during that lesson. And then the speaker said this: Christians can openly admit all the terrible things they do – because we know and believe we are all sinners. Our sins are not what define us. One one’s sin is greater than another.

So I confess this ugly side of me because it also doesn’t define me. It’s certainly a part of me that needs some work and attention … but it’s not something to beat myself up over. I recognize this sin in my heart and I am committed to mending it. The first step to recovery is admitting that there is a problem in the first place.

What sins are on your heart that need to be spoken? What parts of you are broken that need to be said out loud in order to start healing?

Love, Mel

A Lenten Devotional for Good Friday

Mel — Fri, 29 Mar 2013 15:32:02 +0000

I was asked to write a Lenten devotional for Good Friday – my reaction? Seriously? Can’t you just give me a random day in the middle? I’m not equipped to write a devotional for Good Friday! I’m so young and there are far wiser people in my church who have so much to teach. My pastor assured me that I was fit for the job. So here I am – with the devotional I wrote for the members of my church and I’m sharing it with you. God Bless you on this sacred Good Friday in Lent.

John 19:17-37

25 Standing near the cross were Jesus’ mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary (the wife of Clopas), and Mary Magdalene. 26 When Jesus saw his mother standing there beside the disciple he loved, he said to her, “Dear woman, here is your son.” 27 And he said to this disciple,“Here is your mother.” And from then on this disciple took her into his home. 28 Jesus knew that his mission was now finished, and to fulfill Scripture he said, “I am thirsty.” 29 A jar of sour wine was sitting there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put it on a hyssop branch, and held it up to his lips. 30 When Jesus had tasted it, he said, “It is finished!” Then he bowed his
head and released his spirit. 31 It was the day of preparation, and the Jewish leaders didn’t want the bodies hanging there the next day, which was the Sabbath (and a very special Sabbath, because it was the Passover). So they asked Pilate to hasten their deaths by ordering that their legs be broken. Then their bodies could be taken down. 32 So the soldiers came and broke the legs of the two men crucified with Jesus. 33 But when they came to Jesus, they saw that he was already dead, so they didn’t break his legs. 34 One of the soldiers, however, pierced his side with a spear, and immediately blood and water flowed out. 35(This report is from an eyewitness giving an accurate account. He speaks the truth so that you also can believe.) 36 These things happened in fulfillment of the Scriptures that say, “Not one of his bones will be broken,” 37 and “They will look on the one they pierced.”

It was August 6, 2012. My mom called me at work to let me know that they weren’t going to treat my grandpa anymore. They were just going to keep him comfortable. It was an ending that I knew would eventually come but I had no idea so soon.

I left work immediately. I walked into his hospital room and there he was – lying peacefully with his eyes closed. I hugged my family. We gathered around his bed to say a prayer. I prayed with all of my heart and all of my soul that this wasn’t really happening. Please God, save my grandpa. Don’t let this be happening right now. If only he would open his eyes. Tears screamed down my face and my heart raced with the desperation of my prayer.

We spent time telling funny stories about Grandpa. How he loved to wear his green and gold zumba pants with his suede slippers. The sound of his laugh. The way he insisted on having his hair cut – “if you can’t wash it with a wash rag, it’s too long.” There were stories of his wisdom and strength, and how he beautifully loved my grandma and all of his children and step-children.

I remember what the room looked like and where the couch and hospital bed were positioned. I vividly remember the ‘comfort cart’ parked in the corner of the room – stocked with snacks and soda. I remember the sounds of the room too – the laughs, tears and then this rattling. It was ugly and monster-like. Grandpa’s breathing was slowing down and with it came a sort of moan and rattle. The sound was unnerving. Freighting really. I had never heard something like this before. (I didn’t know that this was a normal part of dying.)

The change in Grandpa’s health weighed down the room. Our chests were tight with grief. At some unknown time, the sound started to blend in with the other sounds of the room. It was rhythmic and became predicable. It was almost comforting and soothing. There was a tipping point when the absence of the rattling became more uncomfortable or frightening than the actual sound. The rattling meant that Grandpa was still alive.

From something that was so ugly came something that I wasn’t sure how to live without. In the face of loss or pain, we cling to anything familiar – grabbing at rocks as we tumble head over heels down the hill of loss. What happens when Grandpa takes his last breath and the rattling stops? Does that mean I go home? Then what? I’m not in control of what happens next.

At some point, the frightening and ugly parts of life become comfortable and familiar. The weight of the cross we each carry absorbs itself into each step we take. Our flaws blend into who we are – they begin to define us. I am an alcoholic. I am divorced. I am homeless or jobless. I am a failure. When we look in the mirror, all we see is our cross, our brokenness. No matter how broken, it’s the part of us that we know intimately.

What happens when I no longer have to carry the cross on my own? What would I see in the mirror if I no longer had a cross on my back to carry?

We know that Easter is coming. We can be confident that every Good Friday will be followed by Easter. We might not know what Easter is … or what it will unfold, but we can be confident that it’s in the near future. No death or darkness is ever without an Easter. Our cross will be lifted. It is no longer our own to carry.

It’s ok to find comfort in the rattling of your life. It’s ok to take time to rest in the known misery. But don’t get stuck there. Let go of the known sadness and open yourself up to accept a ‘new normal.’ Easter is coming. When you catch a glimpse of it – don’t lose focus. The healing is just beginning.

Love, Mel

A Day Dream …

Mel — Wed, 27 Mar 2013 14:45:57 +0000

Last week, I’d been floating on OWENGE clouds. Little Warriors literally makes my heart beat differently. It gives me an electric kind of energy. Seeing all the children together because of Owen’s story. Ugh just typing it makes me smile.

Along with all of the Little Warrior preparations, I’ve had a lot of heavy “stuff” on my heart. Decisions I made years ago were causing me trouble now. I was doubting everything that I had been confident in. I was feeling like I went down the wrong path. I was frustrated with the pain because I had thought I was right – how did it turn out so wrong?

In the midst of all my errand running, in preparation for Saturday, I had a day-dream. Driving down Hwy 74, in my minivan with Despicable Me in the background, I had a vivid image appear.

I was standing before God, my heavenly Father … he looked a lot like my dad actually. He placed his hand on the top of my head. I was looking up at him going on and on …

“God – I thought I was doing what you wanted me to. I had my doubts. I didn’t want to do it. But I prayed – just like you told me I should. I prayed sooooo hard. I thought your answer was to follow through. I thought you wanted me to do this. But it’s so awful. And now I’m faced with the decision of un-doing it. Did I get it wrong back then? Were you trying to tell me something that I missed? Blessed are those who follow the Lord. I don’t feel blessed in this decision – what did I miss? I don’t want to miss your guidance again. Show me what I need to learn so that I will always be on your path …”

He stopped me mid sentence. Moved his hand from the top of my head to my cheek. ”Child of mine, I have heard your prayers. You did exactly what you were supposed to do at that time. I know just how much you love me. You are a faithful servant and I love you so much. You did exactly what you were supposed to do. It will all work out – it’s part of my plan. Now go and know that you are loved.”

The weight was lifted … ok honestly? Not totally, but it did lift just enough to breathe. The first sense of relief in a long time … I felt relief that God didn’t blame me. I felt confident in my prayers and how I came to my decision years ago. God wasn’t disappointed in me. It wasn’t that I missed something … it’s that this hardship is apart of my path. I have to go through it. It wasn’t something that I could have avoided. This is not a consequence for my disobedience.

It doesn’t make the hardships any less – but I can carry them with a lighter heart. I am confident that God has not left me and that He will be with me as a travel the next couple of months.

Now I’m wondering what my dad is going to think when he finds out God looked like him in my daydream … haha

Love, Mel

Jaden’s Family Portrait

Mel — Sun, 17 Mar 2013 04:53:47 +0000

I knew it would happen some day … I just didn’t think it would happen so soon. Jaden made a wonderful drawing of our family … Without Owen in it.

Let me first point out that 1+4=5 haha I wasn’t mad that Owen wasn’t on the drawing but it made me sad. I know Jaden, nor anyone else, has forgotten Owen. It’s normal, natural and healthy to move on. The painful truth is that we only have 5 people living in our house.

It was the first family portrait of only 5 … And I know it won’t be the last. And that’s ok. They just won’t ever look “right” to me. They will always look like they are hiding something. Even though the picture might now show it … We are always a family of 6 and I have 4 children.

Love, Mel

Getting CrAzY at the McDonald’s Playland

Mel — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 05:09:52 +0000

My kids are nuts … we are talking banana crazy … do-wack-a-doos!

Doug and I took all the kids to the local McDonald’s for dinner and to run off a little steam. The triplets are still just a little too little to get up in the tunnels on their own. I usually end up having to get in there with him and help them up. Weston has way more adventure in him than his little body can handle just yet.

Today was no exception. The babies wanted to follow Jaden up to the slides but couldn’t quite pull themselves. I start crawling in right away and Doug said “Ummm, Mel, the sign? You must be between the ages of 5-12 … you are 29!!” Does he know me? I’m certainly 12 on the inside! I just giggled and kept on climbing. I embarrassed Doug – but more importantly … Mom of the Year Award over here please!

If I hadn’t been up in the tunnels with them, how would I have been able to take these cute pictures?

It was just the three kids and I playing for the longest time – we had the whole thing to ourselves. Jaden and I played hide and seek in the tunnels. I actually hid in the slide (thanks to keeping my shoes on for traction – Doug pointed out that it was yet another rule broken). We made a four person choo-choo down the biggest slide. We practiced our tumbling in the open area up top. I tickled all three boys to the point where you couldn’t understand them … it was the best time ever!

Logan and I came down the slide and Doug was shouting for me to get back up to the top. In my head I was thinking “what did I do NOW?” But I looked up and saw just a diaper butt running in the big open area up top. Told you my kids were banana crazy! Weston was the only one still in the tunnels and took the opportunity to strip down into just his diaper!

Of course I snapped a few pictures before trying to get him clothed again – come on – this is funny! A part of me wanted to laugh out loud, the other to disciple and yet another part of me was jealous of how confident he was! Only my kids would get naked in such a dirty place like the McDonald’s Playland!

I’m thinking after that stunt, Doug was a little happy that I was able to crawl up there and chase him down. Needless to say it wasn’t an easy task. He is much faster in those tunnels than my fat butt is. It took a great deal of effort to tackle him and force him to get his clothes back on. He was loving all the freedom a little too much! I was just thankful he kept his diaper on!

Yep … my kids are “those” kids!

Love, Mel

The Next Little Warrior Event – Easter Bags of Hope

Mel — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 23:09:47 +0000

It’s with great excitement that I announce our next Little Warrior event – the 2nd Annual Easter Bags of Hope benefitting the Hope Center of Waukesha. We are currently collecting donations of hygiene products, small toys/books and non-perishable snacks (click here for a complete list). We will be using the items to fill Easter Bags for those serviced by the Hope Center of Waukesha. Then on Saturday March 23rd (9am-12pm) we invite children of all ages to join us and help assemble the bags.

The Hope Center is a non-profit organization that has been providing hope to those in need in Waukesha County for more than twenty years. Hope Center is continually working to provide new and better solutions to prevent homelessness and handle the growing needs of the community. To read more about the Hope Center click here.

If you are out of town and would still like to participate, please do! I know that there are many, many Little Warriors all over the US! If I may, here is what I would suggest: Take your child to the dollar store or Wal-Mart or Target and talk to them about people who don’t have homes. Have them try to come up with a list of what kinds of items they would need if they didn’t have a house to live in. Keep your language simple. The basics. You know your child best. Praise them for thinking of others and tell them how important it is. It’s the teaching part that really gets me motivated about this project!

I really do hope to see you on the morning of March 23rd. We will have coffee ready for you and promises of a memorable morning with your little ones. It gets me every single time as I watch so many little ones working to help others. I always feel like Owen is so very proud of what we are doing. Come for the whole three hours or for just a while. Come right away at 9am or show up late. We just want to see you there! It’s going to be a great opportunity to show children that they can make a difference.

I’ve got all the details up on www.owenslittlewarriors.com (a link is in the black header of the blog too). Pre-registration for the event on the 23rd is appreciated so we have an estimated head count of how many will be joining us. But walk-ins are always welcome!!!

We made 238 Easter Bags last year … do you think we make more this time around?? It’s really all up to you!

Please feel free to email me or we.care.warriors@gmail.com if you have any questions.

Love, Mel

P.S. Don’t forget to print off a flyer (or a few) and invite all of your friends! Click here to download a copy of the flyer.

Finn’s Heart

Mel — Wed, 20 Feb 2013 05:24:43 +0000

There is a video I’d like you to watch. It’s titled “Finn’s Heart.” Finn is a little boy in my church who is effected by a Congenital Heart Defect. He is an amazing little boy and his story will inspire you.

Finn’s story brings me back to the moments I was in the hospital with Owen. When talking about organ donation, we were told that we had the opportunity to make a direct donation – offer Owen’s organs to someone we knew. I looked to my family in the room and said, “Can you think of anyone that needs a new heart? There isn’t anyone in the church congregation is there?” My brother said that a friend of his, Emma, had a little brother who would need a heart transplant. I told him to make the call to see if this was something they needed. Hindsight, I think how beautiful it would have been to have Owen’s heart with me at church each Sunday morning. But, I’m thankful that Finn is healthy enough not to need a heart transplant (yet). As each year passes, technology gets better, medical research finds new answers, and Finn’s family has more time to spend with him.

Please watch the video – pray for Finn and for his family.

Love, Mel