I’ve been crazy busy and stressed this week. It’s Teacher Appreciation week and I’m the parent volunteer running this week’s events at Willow. I have another mom organizing with me — I can’t imagine what it would be like without her!
Last night I was putting the finishing touches on today’s mailbox stuffers and all I could think about was how I wanted to crochet. I haven’t had time to work on the two “in progress” blankets all week and I was really missing it. I kept looking at the clock to see if maybe there would be enough time to crochet at least one row. Considering how tired I was and that it was already 10:30pm I decided to read a few chapters out of “Shades of Grey” (I know — guilty pleasure!) and go to sleep instead.
While brushing my teeth I starting mulling over why I missed crocheting so much and I started to realize that each stitch I crochet, I was also holding myself together. The time where my hands do all the work and it allows my mind to wander a little bit. The moments in between rows when I inhale and exhale. I was literally holding myself together by crocheting. Without this time of peace each day, I start to lose myself. I need to crochet for my sanity … not just for the joy of making hats for all my friend’s cute little girls but also for myself.
Jaden asked me to make him a blanket a week or two ago. When I asked him what color he wanted he said orange because he misses Owen and this way it would be like he was sleeping with him each night. Then he added that he thought it should have green and blue in it for all of his brothers. Is it just me or is this a deep thought for a 5 and a half-year old?
As soon as this week’s festivities are over, I’ll be back at it with my crochet hook and yarn. What helps hold you together? What part of your daily routine brings you sanity and keeps you from losing your mind?
It’s quite magical how helping someone else can make you feel better about yourself. Making these hats has given me such purpose at the end of the day. It’s a measurable task. I can be a mom all day long and have nothing physical to show for all of my hard work. But when I have a hat, it just makes me feel like I actually accomplished something. It’s silly really because I cared for three lives all day long. I do a lot all day. Being a mom is really important. I know that. But there is something about a little hat with a cute felt monster on it that makes me feel a little more accomplished.
It also reminds me that I still have more to give. My life isn’t that crazy that I can’t spend a little time each day helping someone else. It was about an hour a day that I crocheted … a hat and sometimes more a day. I crocheted while I watched tv or while Doug and I chatted about our days. My fingers did all the work, it wasn’t something I had to think about to do. I spent a little time while the babies napped and after I cleaned up lunch. ok … sometimes I crocheted before I cleaned up because it became like daily therapy for me.
Each and every hat I made was unique. 59 different color patterns with different felt appliques on them. All I kept thinking was that each of these little kids were different and unique – they all have their own story – and I wanted them to have something as special as they are. I’m giving a little piece of Owen to each of these children to wear as a shield of their own. I thought of Owen each stitch I made … I think of him with just about every breath I take. I prayed that my little warrior would watch out for all these other warrior children out there. I prayed for the parents who are fighting right along with their sick children.
I posted pictures of all the hats I made below. I’m really excited to share this project with you all.
One of the disadvantages of being a Bissing boy is that you still need to help model Mom’s girl creations. A good friend of mine is having a girl and I wanted to make her something special … so I made some head accessories for her. A bear hat .. with a flower of course! Jaden was really jealous that I was making someone else a bear hat so he made me promise that I’d make him a bear hat too. In fact, if I don’t have brown yarn in my hand, he gets upset and asks me where his hat is. I think he’s hungry for a little attention these days … I wonder why? haha
Then I made some headbands with big … no wait HUGE flowers! First was pink … lots of pink! I think the flower is bigger than Owen’s head!
Now Moushie isn’t a girly girl and I wasn’t sure how she’d feel about all the pink … so I also made her a black one too.
And the best part? They are interchangeable! You can wear the black flower on the pink headband or the pink flower on the white headband and so forth. Since I don’t have any girls of my own I think I went nuts, but it was so much fun!
Doug is probably going to give me a hard time about dressing up Owen in girl stuff and then posting it to the web. But they are just babies … besides it’s GREAT amo for when he has girl friends! That’s what a good mom is supposed to do, right?