A while back, a reader who owns Perfectly Imperfect Creations offered to hold a fundraiser for Owen’s fund. We just got our pjs in the mail. Jaden was so gosh darn excited to wear his to bed right away last night. In fact, he was so excited, he gave me this little performance before bed 
Thank you so much Stephanie for the amazing pjs!!! We love them!
Here is a link to Stephanie’s webpage: http://www.facebook.com/perfectlyimperfectcreations
Love, Mel
Filed under Owen Fundraisers, Posted by Melissa
I can’t believe the triplet’s birthday party has come and gone. I spent most of Friday at my mom’s house getting ready … making food, hanging decorations … getting organized. When I finally made it home (about 12:30 am) I settled into bed with my iPad to play a game of Family Feud (to wind down). Then Weston started to cry … then Jaden started to cry. I unplugged the iPad and headed to Jaden’s room, figuring he woke up and wanted to know where I was since I wasn’t home for bed time. Then I heard the sound …. of him throwing up in bed. Seriously? I picked him up and carried him as fast as I could to the bathroom. Just in time for him to throw up on the floor. Great. Then the screams from the triplets. Both of them. Even better. In all of my planning for the party, having sick kids was not one of the options. Fantastic.
Jaden pretty much went right back to sleep after I got him all cleaned up. Doug had the babies. I disinfected the floors. After only an hour we were all back in bed. I think that might be a record time!
That was the most stressful part of the whole party. Seriously. It went smoothly. Kids were well-behaved. The company was amazing and the food was tasty (thank you mom and Rae for doing most of the cooking).
It was hard to pick just a few photos of the party to share … so I picked a bunch.
I created a photo birthday banner. I have taken photos of the babies at least once a month with the same stuffed animals so show how much they grow. I have to say I like the first half of the banner much more than the second half. Owen was in the first 6 photos.
The triplets received “Birthday Boy” shirts from a good friend of the family. When I got Jaden dressed for the day, he asked me “why doesn’t my shirt say Happy Birthday to my babies?” Ummm good question. So I quick made an iron for his red shirt just in time for the party. He doesn’t look really happy in the picture. But in real life he was pretty excited to sport his birthday party shirt.
Smash cakes! Dear friends of mine made the boy’s birthday cake. They also brought the boys their very own cake to dig into. I loved that there were three. Owen got his first cake after all.
and the photo booth!!! Not only was it just plain fun, but photo booths and the triplets are a fond memory. Back in January/February Sarah, Rachael, Abby and I took the triplets to the mall. We ended up in a photo booth and it was one of the funnest things I have ever done. ever. You bet your bottom that we reenacted the photo at the party. No other words but it majorly sucked that Owen wasn’t there too.
Presenting the cake!! I’m not kidding, it was better than our wedding cake. Just sayin’ It was the triplet’s colors. It had owls. One layer was pumpkin. I know it’s stupid … but I felt like it was such a tribute to the triplets. The cake screamed that there are three babies turning one today. It celebrated my three boys … It was perfect. Thank you so much Anne, Mandy and Jessica! Seriously … angels. I’m going to keep looking for your wings
I was inspired by Pinterest … but here is my attempt at a dessert table. (The candies were the triplet’s colors too!)
Gift opening was a bit nuts … but all the kids had lots of fun!
Nothing better than a bucket on your head!
Gift opening is not gift opening unless tissue paper is thrown.
Logan trying out his new car seat from Grandma.
Here is the party waiting for the babies to taste their first cake!
Weston loved the cake. He just kept shoveling it in … laid back in his chair, eating himself into a sugar coma.
The “damage.” I don’t know what I really feel when I look at this photo … do I feel sad and angry that Owen wasn’t there to eat his cake? Or do I feel a sense of comfort that he was there. Maybe it’s the color orange. Or it’s the third of something that gives me comfort. Whichever it is, Owen was there. I know it.
The boys got a bath in the sink.
What party is complete without a pinata??? Meet Mr. Owl.
Jaden had his game face on … he didn’t pull the string that released the candy.
But Andy did!
Then, maybe my favorite part of the party. We took everyone out to the park behind my parent’s house. There we listened to Owen’s Song in the quiet and darkness. Each family lit an orange lantern and sent their birthday wishes to Owen in heaven. Doug and I went first … Doug took off his shirt to show off his warrior tattoo. We both felt such a feeling of pride that we were blessed to have Owen as our son. God gave him to us …. we were chosen to be his parents. Owen. We love you.
Everyone took turns lighting theirs off … one by one they went up into the sky.
Here is a picture of Owen’s godparents, my brother and sister, hugging after sending off their gift to Owen.
Everyone just stood and watched each lantern float away. They were mesmerizing … I watched each one until I couldn’t see them anymore. I hope Owen get them.
At the end of the night, the boys were zonked out. I think they take after me … party animals!
So all this worry and stress. It all worked out. I think part of it had to do with me “letting go and letting God.” From my past experiences, when I give up my control and try to just go with it …. it’s so much better. Why can’t I just remember that from the start?
I’m so thankful to my friends and family that made the party amazing. I’m amazed more and more by how humanity comes together and makes something beautiful out of something tragic. I would do anything to have him back. The hole in my heart will never be filled. I still have flash backs. I still go back to the moments when I held him after his surgery … empty. I want so badly to go back to those moments and hold him again. Those thoughts are interrupting and still take the wind right out of me.
Today is just a good day. Only a day. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I might fall to my knees in tears before the night is over. For now though, I’m going to enjoy the good. I’m going to celebrate my three boys here on earth.
Someone said to remember that I can’t only wear orange. I corrected this individual (who I know had good intentions) … but yes I can because I can only hug/kiss Logan and Weston. It’s only fair that I do something only for Owen. It’s not that I love him more than the boys still with me. I just love him different. I can’t give him constant hugs and kisses like I can with Logan and Weston. So I remember and love him uniquely. Not because I want to, but because I have to. I’m the mother to a warrior after all …
Love, Mel
Filed under Posted by Melissa, Holidays, Milestones, Triplets, Owen's Gone
Marcy and I have talked about having a play date for some time … and we finally made it happen. I was all excited and asked Doug to find something to do with himself for the day so Marcy and I could have free reign of the house. Marcy laughed and asked “are you sure we can handle all seven of our kids?” Marcy couldn’t see my face over the phone, but my eyes bulged out of my head … SEVEN kids? That’s only three less than 10! I double checked her math … sure enough, her three kids and my four made seven. What on earth did I sign us up for? Maybe Doug could stay home … then we’d have an adult on both levels of the house. Is it even legal in the state of WI to have a home daycare with two adults and seven kids?
Saturday came and the Schaefer family arrived ready and raring to go! All decked out in Owl outfits I might add! The Schaefer girls are themed! 
After a bathroom orientation (to ensure no accidents) the kids went into the basement to discover new toys and play, while the mamas sat upstairs with the babies – drinking coffee. There was the normal amount of questions, mommy calls from the bottom of the stairs and disagreements on what to play. Things were going well!
Now you need to know that Marcy is both a huge supporter of me AND she brings out the gosh honest truth in me. So when she asked me how things were going, I had a moment of bare naked truth. I told her it was rough. I expected being a stay at home mom would be hard, but thought it would also have its perks. What a crock! It’s hard … really hard! And … take this with a grain of salt, I don’t like it! I love my kids to the moon and back, but sometimes I just don’t want to be a mom. For just one day. Just to get a break. But being a mom is one job you can never really escape.
When going to the bathroom, Jaden is talking to me thru the door. In our family, we don’t always close the bathroom door, but since staying home, I close it just to have a few mins where I can’t be climbed on or touched. Getting thrown up on and peed on. Not being able to do what you want to do – the kids decide that! No matter where I am in the house, I think about if the triplets are really ok on their own. Of course they are! They are all in their car seats, not driving the car for the first time! And when I’m in the same room as them, listening to every grunt and groan making sure they are still breathing. Now I know I need a chill pill … in fact I wish I could take 15 chill pills and let the afternoon roll by. But being a mom never escapes you. Let’s be real, I wouldn’t be able to check out … the guilt is haunting. So what do I do with all this? Let it consume me? Take over my life and make me miserable?
Hell no! I’ve got to find a way to conquer. It will not control me! (ok I’m starting to feel like I’m leading a rally of moms in bathrobes, curlers in their hair and a cup of coffee in their right hand). My husband told me point-blank – “This is your life now. You need to find a way to adjust”. While at the time it was infuriating (since I was looking for a few “poor babies” and a pep talk on how great I was doing) – he’s right. (Don’t tell him I said that tho haha). Marcy hit it right on the head – survival mode. Yes, I laugh and I find something to enjoy each day – but I’m surviving. I need to do what needs to get done. I’m a real mom. I struggle and I have my bad days (Doug can confirm that if you don’t believe me!) Some times I don’t like being a mom, but I love my kids!
We survived our Saturday playdate and dare I say we enjoyed ourselves? We took a picture just to prove that we did in fact have seven kids and survived!
Here’s proof they even had fun!
Jaden kept asking Marcy if he could hold her baby. We got the two on the couch and Jaden kept “whoochie cooching” Mira. Holding her hand … intertwining their legs … Marcy had to remind him not to get fresh a few times! Oh Jaden, starting so young! She is SO darn cute, I can at least say he’s got great taste!
c
Chapstick is awesome! Not sure how we started talking about it, but Jaden and Veda tell how awesome Chapstick is. The Japanese even use it (says Jaden).
So three cheers to a great playdate, getting the coffee shakes because I forgot to eat breakfast with my five cups of coffee and to being a real mom!
Filed under Jaden Story, Play Dates, Posted by Melissa
