Truth

The truth is near. I’m so scared of the truth. Why can’t I live in hope just a little longer. Would I feel more prepared tomorrow? Probably not. The past 36 hours have been light, filled with hope. I can feel my Owen here in the room. In my heart, waiting for his body to be ready for his return.

But what if his body fails him. What if his spirit is wanting to stay, but his mortal body won’t function? He can’t stay in a boat without a motor. He can’t sail the waters of life with out a paddle to steer him. I’ve been packing for his trip…giving him food, and prayers and water. Giving him an eternal life jacket. He needs to finish his journey. He’s deserves a chance.

Reality is terrifying right now. Rationally I know that the truth is what I need and that it is the best. But let me live in my balloon. You know what would be even better? Let my balloon become my reality. Maybe my hope is my truth.

Lord grant me the strength to face the truth. Take my hands and use them to do your will. Hold my heart in your hand and let it slow down. Let me be chill like my Owen.

Let my hope be my reality.

Love, Mel

Ps we have only one more temp jump. 8:30 we make the last move and we stop the paralysis meds. The meds can take about 8-10 hours to wear off. So we are waiting for 4 am again. The truth is near.

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28 Comments

Filed under Posted by Melissa

28 responses to “Truth

  1. Danielle G.

    Your words are powerful and your faith is strong. Keeping a light on for your sweet Owen – praying for the strength needed to get him and your family through this.

  2. Katie Voss

    Let your faith dominate your fear! God is with you Melissa. He has guided you through this and will continue to be with you.

  3. Tanya

    Melissa,
    Praying you get your miracle and your little boy is returned to you unchanged! In Jesus’ name – AMEN!!
    Tanya

  4. Janell

    Praying for you all every step of the way.
    Psalm 46:1-2

  5. Tammy Matuszak

    Sending lots of prayers, hugs, strength, support, and whatever it takes! I am thinking of you all. My heart aches and I wish I could do something more but I know that prayer is powerful. I will sleep with the light on tonight.

  6. Candace Dettman

    From one mother to another, I only wish that there were words to say to make you feel better right now. I know there aren’t, but one thing I know for sure is that God has a plan for Owen, you and the rest of your beautiful family. You are strong, you are courageous, you are amazing, and I’m blessed to call you friend.

  7. I cam via the Adoption Chronicles. I just wanted to tell you that my prayers are with you, your family and especially for Owen. Don’t loose faith or hope. What the Lord leads you to, he will lead you through. He will either carry your load or make your back stronger. Prayer IS powerful.

  8. Buffy

    I am leaving my light on for Owen tonight praying that he finds the strength to find his way back to his family…your hope is helping don’t let it go. I held my little babes a while longer tonight before bed. Keep faith.

  9. Jessica

    A friend of mine shared your story with me. My heart breaks for your family. We are hoping and praying for little Owen.

  10. Barbara

    I read about Owen on the “Pray for Regina Sweeney” facebook page. You can be sure many people are praying for Owen via Regina.
    My dearest relative underwent breast cancer surgery today so my prayers have been unceasing.

  11. I know it’s scary. Let God lead you. Let Owen lead you.

  12. Becky McCormick

    We have a light on for your sweet Owen…and keeping you all in our prayers…God Bless You All!

  13. Bev Wilch

    You are surrounded by so much love and prayers. God is holding Owen close – Your faith will give you strength and hope.
    God is so good, He loves Owen so………This Little Light of mine He’s gonna let him shine……….Jesus loves Owen this I know!!!!!!!!!
    The Wilches have you in their thoughts and prayers.

  14. Jessica

    Melissa, I understand exactly the hope vs. truth battle in your mind. Let God’s word be of comfort to you: “But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God.” John 3:21
    I have prayed and fasted all day; be encouraged!!! Rest in the knowledge of how much God LOVES your whole family!! 🙂

  15. Erin Anderson

    Melissa, we are praying for little Owen. He hasn’t left my thoughts since I heard about what happened. Be strong for him, Mama. You are a rock.

  16. Amy Joers

    Let the love and Gods power fill the room right now

  17. alaina

    Many thoughts and prayers are going out again tonight for a positive day forward tomorrow for Owen. I haven’t been able to stop reading your blog for updates for the past few days, hoping that good news will come soon. Your words are inspiring and your faith and energy is trully empowering. Doug and you both have amazing strength, and I know Owen does too. Please let us know if there is anything we can do to help.

  18. Kris

    Prayers, deep felt prayers, from Iowa tonight for you and your little Owen. Maybe one more prayer makes a difference.

  19. Marcy

    Our porch light remains on. Peace be with you and Doug.

  20. Shannon

    My heart breaks for you, but I am so inspired by how you are letting the Lord comfort you. I am amazed how you are wanting to be submissive to His will. But I am praying and petitioning that sweet Owen comes back to you. I have carried a burden for your family for the past 24 hours and I can feeling so many people lifting you up in prayer. Blessings and love to your family.

  21. Sue Margelofsky

    Sending more prayers and hope for you and all of the loved ones that surround you. Owen’s light shines in many corners of our world. You have touched many people with your words and wishes. Close your eyes and take a deep breath and feel God’s love surround you as if he were covering you with a blanket. Owen is there and hears your every prayer and knows your touch. He is fighting with all his might. My light is on for Owen and I will continue to pray for you.

  22. Megan

    Still here…hoping & praying constantly for your family. It made my heart jump into my throat when you said you feel him with you now because I know there’s nothing more telling that mother’s intuition! I hope he stays with you & it really isn’t his time to go. The fact that he’s made it this far, beaten every odd they’ve given him & surprised all his doctors means he’s here to fight & i just pray with all my might that he wins. We won’t stop praying until he’s returned to you….Owen has his army & we’ll yours! You are amazing!

  23. Jann Hedden

    My husband Steve and I are continuing to pray for Owen and for you. The Lord will give you the strength you need. HE will hold you in the palm of HIS hand. We pray for Owen to be healed and whole, asking God for HIS grace and mercy. PSALM 28:7, “The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in HIM, and I am helped”. Mel, we will stay up with you and pray with you throughout the night. We will leave a light on for Owen.
    (I am a para at Douglas Elementary School. Tell Rachel our love and prayers are with her too).

  24. Jenny

    My heart is aching for you. God’s will is strong and Owen will pull through. You are so blessed with such beautiful babies. Please keep us posted. My prayers are will you and your family,

  25. Ashley

    We may not know eachother, but a friend of mine linked me to your blog. Your words are so moving and powerful! You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!

  26. I found your blog through another blog today and I sit here in my living room with my kids sleeping away in their bedrooms and I’m overcome with tears and so much emotion for your family & for little Owen. I cannot imagine what you are facing right now and in the time to come. I will be praying for you and for your family, for your boys, for Owen. My heart aches at the thought of such a precious Angel you’ve brought into this world in Owen.

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