Do Not Be Afraid

I’m trying to sleep.  When I woke up the first time I heard a nurse say she paged dr Meyer. I sat up, alert.  What’s wrong?  The cooling blankets stopped working and they weren’t sure how to fix it.  He only warmed two tenths of a degree Celsius before they we able to fix the machine.  His skin is cold again.

I forced myself back to sleep.

I woke up again to find three nurses in the room.  All whispering.  They have left.  No one said anything to me even though they saw I was awake.  That means things are ok, right?  The monitors all read about the same as when I went to sleep.  I just don’t know why they were in here.

Owen, I feel that you might be a little nervous about the warming.  Or maybe it’s my nerves.  Do not be afraid.  Let it be god’s will.  I will be there every step of the way.  Daddy will be there too, sending his little army men inside to fix you all up.  He’s had final fantasy seven (a movie) playing in the room to send you strength all day.

Do not be afraid.  Mommy is here.

Lord, I’m afraid.  My heart flutters a little.  Be with my Owen.  Rub his back, pat his diaper butt like I did.  He really liked his nook when he was upset so make sure he has one.  His bed is full of stuffed animals.  Let him snuggle with whichever he wants.  Hoochy chooch his thighs and give me 27183 kisses from both Doug and I.  Be with him.  Don’t let my Owen feel fear or pain.

The light is still on.

Love, Mel 

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17 Comments

Filed under Hospital Stay, Mommyhood Meditations

17 responses to “Do Not Be Afraid

  1. Mel, I woke up this morning an hour earlier than usual just so I could come to see if you had updated your blog. I’m sure there is an entire group of us who can’t sleep either, just waiting to see how things go this morning. Get your rest to try and stay strong for you Owen and your other little one’s. I said my prayers last night and will say them again this morning. God is watching over Owen and will protect him.

  2. Lydia Yeoman

    Dear Lord we pray for the peace which can only be known by you! We pray for the strength for Owen, comfort of the family and wisdowm for the doctors, In your glorious name we Pray.

    Mel and Doug my family is praying for yours if there is anything we can do please let me know, I can cook and clean and willing to do both! Lydia (special ed teacher from Douglas & my mom works with Doug)

  3. Mel- I checked your post as soon as I could.Keeping hope and faith. Owen and your family have been on my mind,praying to God in my mind as much as I can. God be with you all, I know he is protecting your lil’ man Owen.- Your fellow SuperMommy friend Stacey

  4. Liz

    I left the light on last night and have been thinking about you and your family ever since I read your story. I’ve been praying for you. I hope that your darling boy comes back to you. I hope things are going well right now. Just know that as you are waiting there in that hospital room, you’ve got a whole lot of people sending prayers for you and your family.

  5. Karen Thompson

    I am another friend of your mom’s from Summit View. I have a special place in my heart for your triplets, as they were born on my birthday. You have amazing strength and are a wonderful mother! You and your family have been constantly in my thoughts and prayers for the past few days. I continue to pray for Owen and all of your family. Sending hugs and prayers to all of you!!!

  6. Becky

    Mel and Doug,
    May God help you through this difficult time and keep your faith strong! We are praying for Owen’s recovery, you all are in our prayers. Let the little army men have success today!

  7. Lesa Rhoton

    I was forwarded your blog on facebook. My heart goes out to you. What a beautiful boy Owen is. I’m praying for you, for Owen, for your family. There’s such strength in the love that you have for him. Give him all of that strength, all of that love. Miracles happen every day. Praying for your miracle today.

  8. Leisha

    Thinking of you today Owen and sending our prayers to you and your family.

  9. Amy

    Mel and Doug,

    I am praying for you. We have all been heart broken for you but know if anyone can come through this stronger and wiser, it is you. I know you will do great things with whatever the outcome. I pray for peace for you and your family. Know that you are always in our thoughts. Amy(the night shift nurse who sat with you in the mornings and monitored you when those beautiful boys were still inside).

  10. Silvie Rose

    I found you thru my cousin Brittney. I sort of understand what you are going thru, my son (now 11) has issues as an infant and at one point we thought we would lose him. I hope you dont mind but I’m going to ask my friends to put Owen and your family on their prayer list. My heart and prayers are with you.

  11. Jill Guernsey

    Well the warming process has been going on for a few hours. I pray that God continues to give you and your whole family strength and courage. God will be with Owen to hold him and protect him. In these difficult times, faith is all we have and praying is all we can do. Like any loved one we wish we could take this heartache from you and Doug. Since we can’t, we will be with you in prayers, thoughts, and spirit. Know that you are loved and you are not alone! (Grandma Pam’s traveling buddy, not her bed buddy or her back row seat buddy, but her luggage handling buddy 🙂 )

  12. Brooke Cenal

    I was forwarded this from a fellow triplet mom. I have your sweet baby and entire family in my thoughts and prayers. God is an Awesome God as you know and he is walking next to you through all of this. I pray his will be done and for comfort for you all. I pray little Owen pulls through and is the vessel that shows Gods light.
    Brooke
    mom to 6 year old triplets, 9 year old, and 3 year old.

  13. Elizabeth Enriquez

    Melissa,
    Thank you so much for sharing your difficult journey with us. You have an army of people, both friends and strangers, praying for you all. Your strength and spirituality through this trying time is an inspiration to us all. You are full of grace and God’s love, and I know that Owen is feeling all of the positive energy you are sending his way. Continue to feel peace, and please take comfort in the fact that so many people are praying and supporting you all. All of your children are beyond blessed to have you as their mother.

  14. Sadie

    Stay strong in your heart and faith. You have prayers and hugs from all over for Owen and your family.

  15. Daphne

    A friend/co-worker of mine posted your site on facebook. She is also the mother of triplets and another child, just like you. I read your blog named My owen. I don’t even know you or your family, but knew that my prayers were needed. I have shared your site with my 2 daughters and my niece, all mothers. Each one was so touched by your situation. We are all praying for you and Owen. Have faith in the Lord and he will guide you. God and only God knows what he has planned for Owen. He hears each and every prayer and knows that Owen is loved, even by complete strangers. Know that you are also being held up in prayer as you go through this journey. Continue to stay strong, but know that you are only human. It is okay to fall apart from time to time. Our love and prayers will continue for all of you.

  16. Kim Graves

    Mel, i have always had chunky thigh envy..my 18 month old Livy is a long and lean little girl who i give 532 kisses to every day..or at least close to it..i love Owen’s little chunky thighs and may have given them 27183 kisses myself if i had the pleasure of doing so…bless his heart!

  17. There are no words to describe how bdoaucios this is.

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