Where are you Owen?

Owen,
The doctors can’t find you. Your EEG is flat now, your heartbeat unchanging. Where are you? I thought I had found you…or did I just find hope? Empty hope now. The hope that would lift me up and let me fall.

Lord, I know you are here. I know you want me to live in the 2%. I believe. The truth is so heavy. I am not paralyzed. I am standing .. Standing in your presence and banging on heavens gates. Hold my hand. Hold my Owen for me when I cannot. I can hold his body … But you need to be the one to hold HIM.

Since he is off his paralyzing meds and the test show that he can make the nerve connections but isn’t … We start the tests to determine if he is brain dead. Those words taste like vomit on my lips. His heart can beat without his brain. But if his brain isn’t working, he’s just as dead as if his heart was stopped.

We test this afternoon and if the results aren’t good, we test again in the morning. If my nightmare is my reality, at that point we talk options. The kinds of options where some sort of good can out of this .. Donation. Ugh.

Doug and I can’t agree on what to eat for dinner or what bedspread to have at home, but about Owen, we are spot on. A miracle will be coming from the heavens tomorrow for someone .. Maybe my Owen and maybe not.

I believe in God, the father almighty. I believe in the holy spirit and the holy Christian church. I believe in prayer. I believe He answers prayers in His way. Let me be strong enough to handle His answer.

Amen.

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44 Comments

Filed under Hospital Stay, Mommyhood Meditations

44 responses to “Where are you Owen?

  1. Angie Grows

    oh mel – my heart is absolutely broken and bleeding for you – praying for God’s peace and you are so right that his life will be a miracle either way.

  2. Natalie

    We’re al praying for Baby Owen! You and your family keep seeking the light of the Lord! HUGS!

  3. Marcy

    Peace & Strenght to you, Melissa, Doug and Owen.

  4. Amy Joers

    May peace be with you and Doug. Praying for the six of you. You have shone such unwaivering faith, let God hold you all in his arms.

  5. Joan Maternoski

    Praying, praying, praying for little Owen and your entire family.

  6. Jennifer

    I hope you know you have may people praying with you and for you. I think of the Footprints poem now – as God will carry you when you need him most. As part of the super moms — we are ALL here if you need anything.

  7. Karen

    Come on baby Owen!!! I know you can do it and i fully believe the miracle can and will happen. still sending prayers!

  8. I admire your spirit and words about tomorrow’s miracle. My thoughts will be with you and your family and your precious Owen today.

  9. Andrea

    Praying so hard for your baby and family.

  10. Liz

    I am so sad and brought to tears reading that he hasn’t moved on his own yet. I continue to pray that Owen will be in that two percent. I can’t imagine the pain and anguish you are going through. Waiting. Wondering. Hoping. You are a wonderful Mom and your baby Owen knows you are there. He knows. I am praying for the best for all of you. My light is still on. I haven’t turned it off.

  11. Casey Lemp

    Oh sweet baby Owen. May God wrap His arms around you and your family and may you feel His comfort in this time of need. My heart goes out to the Bissing family. May you receive your miracle.

  12. Sandie Pfeiffer

    Just read your latest Post forwarded to me by my daughter and we are still praying for the 2% miracle. Just wanted to let you know how strong a witness you are for the rest of us by showing your incredible faith in our God during this unbelievably difficult time. Whatever the outcome turns out to be, God loves you and is using your family for his special purpose.

  13. sareece1

    Owen COME ON! Get back! NOW! Oh my lord… I am praying! My heart is breaking for you and your family. Please Lord, we need a miracle here!!!

  14. Amy

    We are all sending prayers….I have asked God so many times in the past few days for a miracle, if anyone deserves a miracle it’s Baby Owen. Sending hugs and prayers. My God bless you and keep you.

  15. Amanda

    Please baby Owen pull through! Dear Lord, please be with Owen all the way, and if it be your will, please please please let him come home to his mom and dad and brothers! In Jesus’ name, Amen.

  16. Megan

    I’m praying for your family.

  17. Lifting you all up continually…

  18. kimberly

    I was linked here by someone who knows a friend of yours, Melissa. I have a 10.5 month old son and I just can’t imagine what you are all going through.

    Owen, sweet baby,

    I pray that God works a miracle in your tiny little body. God CAN do it. He CAN heal you. I pray that God gives your family peace, strength, and courage no matter what.

    My heart is breaking for your mommy and daddy and brothers and loved ones, but it also rejoices at the same time to know that if you don’t come back to your earthly home, you will go to your eternal one and get to meet Jesus! They will all be able meet you again one day – praise the Lord! Maybe even tomorrow. Maybe next week. We don’t know when the Lord will call us home or when He will return.

    But for now, keep fighting, sweet boy. You can do this with God’s help. Doctor’s are not God. God is God. Doctor’s can’t say whether or not you have a chance. God can raise the dead. God can walk on water. God can heal the blind. God can give a barren woman children. God can make the lame to walk again. God can. God can do anything, and I mean anything. God can heal you, God can bring you back!

    Oh sweet Owen, keep fighting!

    I will leave you with a song that I’ve just been reminded of. I used to sing it as a child.

    He is able,
    He is able,
    I know HE is able!
    I know my Lord is able to carry me through!
    He healed the broken hearted and he set the captive free;
    He made the lame to walk again and He caused the blind to see!
    He is able,
    He is able,
    I know HE is able!
    I know my Lord is able to carry me through.

    Love in Christ,
    Kimberly Gfeller

    “And great crowds came to him, bringing with them the lame, the blind, the crippled, the mute, and many others, and they put them at his feet, and he healed them, so that the crowd wondered, when they saw the mute speaking, the crippled healthy, the lame walking, and the blind seeing. And they glorified the God of Israel.” Matthew 15: 30-31

  19. Lee-Ann

    My heart is breaking for you and your husband. Owen baby, please come back if you can and God, if for some chance he can’t come back hold him extra tight and hold his mom and dad in your arms too. Help them along this journey. Major prayers and LOVE sent your way.

  20. Gabrielle

    Praying for all of you, especially Owen.

  21. Melissa Nelson

    You don’t know me, and I’m honestly not entirely sure how I stumbled upon these pages. I know that I believe in Jesus Christ with ALL my heart, my soul, and strength even when it seems as if my heart is heavy, my soul is burdened, and my strength is infinitesimal. I know that Jesus Christ still is pleased by my belief beacuse what little I have is His. I surrendered. Thus, I know that He has brought me to this page to pray, to battle for your little boy’s life, and I will. My husband and I will both be praying.

    As I read each post, I cannot help but think of the great and awesome testimony and purpose that God has for your son, regardless of the length of His life. You are a witness. Your son, Jaden, is a witness. Owen is a witness without any words at all. He shouldn’t even be alive as it is, but God’s said otherwise. “Why should it be thought a thing incredible with you, that God should raise the dead? ” (Acts 26:8) Keep faith. Lay hands on your baby, and raise the dead. He has given us the power. If He does, it will be nothing that He hasn’t already done before, but it will not be any less of a miracle. I’m praying for a miracle. As Daniel stood before the fire, He has the faith. Regardless of whether His God saved Him, Daniel knew that His God was the only one who was capable. That was all that mattered. Please know that your God, the Lord Jesus Christ, is capable.

  22. Laura

    My heart breaks, my tears fall for your baby Owen & your family. I have faith in prayer and Im sending many your way. My God wrap his arms around your family during this time. C’mon baby Owen, you can do it sweet boy.
    Love & Hugs!

  23. We haven’t met, but have similar roots in common. I’m also from Waukesha and am St. Norbert alum. I heard about your story through facebook and feel compelled to share that I have been inispired and am in awe of your unwavering faith and awesome perspective. I’m on my knees today storming the heavens on behalf of sweet baby Owen. Praying for a miracle and that you may all feel His loving arms around you…

  24. Jamie Hewitt

    Melissa,
    I continue to keep Owen and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

    Jamie Hewitt

  25. Verna Friesen

    LORD Jesus, carry Owen and his family!

  26. Jessica

    My heart breaks with yours today. I am lifting you and Owen up in prayer continually.

    Please God heal sweet Owen…

    I will leave the light on in my girls nursery every night as a reminder of Owen and the strength and hope that can only come from God.

  27. Thinking of you all today and sending gentle hugs and peace with whichever way Owen leads you.

  28. Mary Kristensen

    Keep the faith and hope…stay strong and know you are all loved.

  29. jen

    Continuing to send prayers!!!

  30. Petra

    May God wrap all of you in his loving arms and give you continuous strength! We are praying, praying, praying for Owen. And we will keep a light on!

  31. Megan

    My heart breaks for you. I pray you find peace in whatever today brings. Owen, i hope that you don’t feel any fear or pain & know that your army will never stop fighting for you.

  32. Cindy

    Praying for Owen.

  33. Katherine W

    Melissa,
    I am so sorry that your family has to go through this time of uncertainty.

    Dear Lord,
    You know little Owen so much better than I do. You know his sickness and his need. Lord, I ask you to be with Owen now, working in his body to make him well. Let Your will be done in his life.
    Lord, I pray for Owen because Your Word says I should pray for his healing. I believe You hear this earnest prayer from my heart and that it is powerful because of Your promise. I have faith in You to heal Owen, but I also trust in the plan you have for his life. Lord, I don’t always understand Your ways, and why he has to be so distant from his family, but I trust You now.
    Be with his parents and calm them with Your Spirit of Comfort. Give them the strength they need in this difficult time. Bring family and friends forward continually to help them care for themselves and for their family until this trying time has passed.
    May You be glorified in Owen’s life as you stretch Your healing hand over him. Surround him with Your love and care. Lord, please let his little light shine. Amen

    Katherine W
    SEWMOT mom

  34. I was led to your blog via MOST on Facebook. My family and I are praying for all of you. God is holding all of you in His hands.

  35. kimberly

    Even if the doctors declare him “brain dead”, God can still heal him!

    http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/05/11/husband-celebrates-miracle-brain-dead-wife-wakes-hospital/

  36. Mitch

    We dont know each other nor does that matter. We are part of the community of Christ. I am praying for you and your family.

    Lord, Almighty and merciful Father, by the power of your command, drive away from Owen all forms of sickness and disease. Restore strength to his body and joy to his spirit, so that in his renewed health, he may bless and serve you, now and forevermore.

  37. Jessica

    My family and I pray for your family and sweet little Owen. My heart breaks for you as a mother I can’t imagine how painful this has to be. We are still holding out hope little Owen will find his way back home Miracles can and do happen all the time hold onto that.

  38. Mary

    I was in church the day your beautiful babies were baptised. I will continue to pray for a miracle for your sweet baby Owen along with the rest of your church family.

  39. Missy

    Today, I am praying for your peace and healing…keep fighting little Owen…you are so very loved.

  40. Jessica

    Baby Owen and family,

    I do not know you, but I am an occupational therapist who works with children. I have seen miracles of all varieties and today I pray for a miracle for all of you. I will be praying for peace, comfort, and painlessness.

    Blessings!

  41. Kathy

    Praying for Owen and your family. Though we don’t always understand the reasons, the Lord is always in charge. Praying for a miracle!

  42. Jessica

    You don’t know me, I don’t know you. I have a 1.5 year old and twins on the way right now, and someone on my multiples page posted a link to your blog. Just wanted you to know I’m spreading the word that prayers are needed for Owen and your family. I’ve seen God work an amazing miracle for a friend recently and I’m praying sweet little Owen is next on His list. Big hugs to you and your family during what has got to be the hardest time in your lives. I admire your faith and encourage you to continue letting Jesus carry you through this time of pain and uncertainty.

  43. Pingback: Where are you Owen? | Three Times the Fun | Nail It To The Cross

  44. sisterinChrist

    I just found your blog through a facebook friend who is asking for prayer for Owen and your family. A fellow mom asking for prayer for her child? Consider it done. I went right to your site and read the entire month of May. My heart aches for you. I realized your journey to motherhood was not without hardship, and neither was mine. I hope someday we meet through the Lord’s arrangement and we can share our sweet and not so sweet stories with one another. Until then, I lift you up in prayer and fold my hands and bend my knees, asking God give you strength & comfort in whatever the next few days may bring. May you know His Love & Peace like never before.
    Your Sister In Christ

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