Lift them up

I was pretty nervous about coming home last night. Leaving my Owen alone in the hospital. But after seeing the three boys smiling, I know I made a choice I can live with. Right is hardly appropriate for the decision I had to make.

The first thought when I woke up this morning was, what am I going to do when life starts? What happens when the family goes back to their lives, and Doug back to work. What do I do when it’s me and the kids … I’m the stay at home mom again. Who will I talk to when I need to distract my mind? Who will listen to my inappropriate comments and jokes … just because I don’t know what else to say?

That will be a true test – am I and my faith strong enough? When the paralysis on my daily life is lifted, will there be a breath? Will I pass the tests? Will my daily life fail the apnea test by three points? Time. I keep just saying … time.

We called to check in with the Donation Network. They have started him on a few more drips and are drawing labs every four hours. He did well during the night. We are still waiting for some more information to come back from his Echo, but so far nothing has been ruled out.

It looks like his liver might go to California. The distance will push out Owen’s OR time farther since the other donor team will need to fly out here to get what they need.

I lift up Owen’s nurses & doctors.  May they find peace.  Lord, if you are listening, they deserve the next miracle.  They are your earthly hands caring for this small body.  They have been strong and they have cared for more than just Owen, my family.  Let them be next with a miracle.  Know what their hearts yearn for and hear it.  I know that I don’t have the power to pay them back for what they have done for my family.  Let me them feel the warm that they have provided my family.

I am going to go and call the funeral home now.  Something to occupy my mind while we wait for a surgery time.  I need to go back to the house and get Owen’s baptismal blanket too.  Go into the same room where he left me.  Maybe he’ll be waiting there for me.

One step at a time.  One minute, one second at a time.

Love, Mel

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69 Comments

Filed under Hospital Stay, Mommyhood Meditations, Posted by Melissa

69 responses to “Lift them up

  1. I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for your terrible loss. It is unimaginable. Please know that I’m thinking of your whole family, especially little Owen. I am praying for him. I wish there was something more I could do.

  2. kate

    My heart breaks for you and your family. I am amazed by your strength, and your willingness to share what you are going through with complete strangers. I can not even begin to imagine what you and your family must be going through but you are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry for your loss and I know nothing I say can make you feel better. Just know that even though I do not personally know any of you I will pray for your family and I think you are doing something AMAZING by donating what you can and giving other children a chance at life.

  3. Jen

    Mel, I’ll listen to all your inappropriate jokes and comments! You can call to distract you, I can always come up with something else inappropriate to talk about and make you laugh! Hang in there. Love you, Jen

  4. Kristina

    Simply no words besides I am so very sorry. So very, very sorry.

  5. Connie Csedo

    May God craddle little Owen in His hands and wrap His arms around your whole family. Peace, Prayers, Love & Blessings.

  6. Melanie

    My thoughts and prayers are with you… The Lord will give you the strength…

  7. mel-
    owen is with you, has not left your side. that i am certain of. he won’t be “waiting” b/c he has never left you and doug. you are so strong in your faith, i know there will be hard, terrible days ahead, but you will find comfort in Owen. memories of him. you are doing a great thing by donating him. i can’t express how amazing you are.

  8. Melissa N

    melissa you are one remarkable woman!!! in your time of sorrow, sadness, tests, and trials…here u are praying for the doctors and nurses!! your strength and faith have amazed me and i will forever be greatful to you for sharing Owen’s tough fight and your story with the world! not many people could do what you have done…MAY GOD BLESS U AND YOUR FAMILY ESPECIALLY BABY OWEN!

  9. Megan

    Sending my love.

  10. Kjersten

    Melissa,
    I just wanted to say that you inspire me. A friend of mine posted your blog on Facebook last night and I found myself reading many of your post. I prayed with you and was astounded by your submission to God’s will. Know that Owen’s life story and your attitude about it are the best devotion I have read, ever. I don’t know how I would handle the same tragedy. After I read you last post, I had to walk into my nine month old’s room and watch his chest go up and down for awhile for reassurance. And I prayed. I prayed for you and for myself. That I may one day have the strength of faith that you have exhibited. You and Owen are a blessing to me.

  11. Katie Jansen

    Sending our thoughts and prayers for your family and sweet baby Owen during this difficult time.

  12. Cindy

    Praying for your family.

  13. Amanda

    Prayers for healing and comfort.

  14. Jessica Carpentert

    Mel,
    I can’t tell you how amazing you are – you are a fantastic mother, friend and person. I envy your strength and will do whatever I can to support it. I would love to hear your inappropriate jokes!
    XOXO

  15. Crystal

    To the Bissing Family-
    Words cannot express the sorrow that my heart feels for baby owen and your family. Just know that as long as you keep thinking about owen, talking about owen and talking to owen he will be here and watch over you and your family.

    My husband and I have a two year old little girl named taylor, and we have had our own scare in the past. She is now fine and I thank god for that each and everyday!
    Just keep praying, and praying! I have first heard about your story on the radio yesterday- which made me ball my eyes out and then make a donation. Your story has changed me and the love for my family in so many ways and we are just over 14 hrs. after hearing owens story.
    I want to say thank you. Thank you for sharing your story with me! God bless baby owen and your family. I have put in a few messages for the big guy and i should have a couple people waiting at the gates to great baby owen. People who in my family have had there life cut way to short.
    Well now its time for me to stop rambling on… you have much more important things to worry about right now! Give baby owen a kiss and hug from me and my family and tell him he has friends waiting at the gates of heaven! Embrace those angel wings baby owen! Love You! XOXO

  16. Casey Lemp

    Mel-
    Your strength amazes me! You are an amazing woman, mother and wife. Owen will live on in the children he helped, and in the hearts of those who have read and followed your journey. May God give you and your family strength and comfort in this time of need.

  17. Shelly

    I hope you can heal soon. I totally get the inappropraite comments & jokes, my son lost his legs two years ago. It took time to get used to saying the right thing, NOT saying the wrong thing (how many times do we make the comment, well I hope we start out on the right foot, or if you were in my shoes), & dealing with the uncomfortable jokes my son made. I do not pretend to understand what you are dealing with, as my son is here, without legs, but none the less here. I am just telling you that the aftermath of a tragedy to our child is LONG! Just seeing all of this made me question my faith again. I remember sitting in the hospital as we thought my son was going to die, & someone telling me there is a greater plan or (my personal fav) God gave us his only son… well I’m not god & taking my son just wasnt fair, just as you losing yours sure isn’t! I am not sure where my comment will fall on your heart, but I hope it lands in a place of anger or confusion, where I was 2 years ago. I hope you have someone beside you to tell you, it is OK to be mad next week. It is OK to be angry, when there are only 2 diapers to change. I am not going to tell you that I will pray for you (even though I have & will continue), but I tell you, its OK to just be mad. Your post are so inspiring, your strength is amazing & your heart is so big…I wish I could send you a hug…

    • Kathleen

      Shelly,
      I agree, I lost my baby Regina (ll Years old) April 20th, 2011 just 6 weeks ago. I have a strong faith, but the anger does come. You see all these other people living their lives and yours is broken. She was on life support in 24 hours from the Flu, her lungs were destroyed, they kept her on life support for a month hoping we could heal the lungs but it did not work. It is lonely at times at home and the photos are hard.
      And when people say God let his son suffer too, but he chose that, I did not. Lots of anger and grief to come.

  18. Jaclyn

    WOW!! You are truly an amazing woman. Way stronger than you will ever realize. Owen was born into your family for a purpose. He was perfect, and he just needed to visit this earth for a short time. YOU were chosen to be the mother of a perfect child. That is an HONOR. I know right now it might not feel that way, but God chose you because he knew you were strong enough. I think he gave you triplets, so that you would still have 2 (3 with your older son) more angels to care for when he had to call Owen home. I can never understand what you are going through, but your thought do not seem inappropriate to me at all. I know that you do not know me, but I am a stay at home mom also. I would be willing to exchange numbers so that you could talk to someone that would not judge you. I already love you even though we will probably never meet in person.

    Love and prayers,
    Jaclyn (mom of 3)

  19. Jeanette Mercado

    Mel,
    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Owen was just adorable, and its hard for me to even accept that he is gone. I think what u are doing with the Donation Network is awesome. Baby Owen will for ever live on in all of our hearts. I give you so much praise, because I believe that you are the strongest mother ever to be going threw this and sharing your every thought with all of us. God bless you Mel. Take care of those 3 beautiful boys you have at home. They will also help you get threw this. Its going to be hard, we are all here for you. you can always tell your jokes to us. Owen you will forver be in me and my family’s heart, you will always be remembered as your mommy and daddy’s little chunky monkey. Love you Owen. Take care Mel.

  20. jen

    I cannot quite find the right words to send you, because nothing feels like enough. What you have been through is devastatingly sad, but after reading your words, I can tell you have the strength and guidance you need to help yourself heal. Bless you and your family during this difficult time. Know that there are so many prayers being sent your way and may sweet Owen watch over your family down from Heaven.

  21. Kathy b

    My Neice Sarah directed me here. I’ve never seen someone so brave. My prayers go with you on your journey through the most awful thing a person can experience. The gift you are giving other families is selfless. Please know that there are many people praying for you. We will all hold our children and grandchildren a little tighter tonight.

  22. Katie Voss

    At night I think about the conversations I want to have with you and what I might say to you. Last night at 2:00 a.m. as I was rocking Adam to sleep and I thought one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time, one second at a time. Glad to hear you already got this message. I am looking forward to hugging you.

  23. Jamie

    Although every situation is different, I too have had to bury my child. Our baby daughter died in 2009, and some of the things you are saying are the EXACT things I thought. This is not a club I ever wanted to join, and each and every day I still hate that she isn’t here with me where I believe she is supposed to be. It is too soon for you to be processing everything, but YES, you will breath again. YES, someday you will find yourself being happy, laughing, worrying about something stupid like what to make for dinner. I am a stay at home mom too, and was terrified for the day when it was just me and my son again. But, I believe he is the reason I’m still standing today. I HAD to get up each morning. I had to act “normally”. There will eventually be a new kind of normal. A new script on how to deal with the, “how many kids do you have?” “Look at your cute twins” and all the other comments people make without realizing they are stabbing you in the heart. You’ll come up with what works for you. Sometimes I don’t feel like getting into it, and I silently beg my daughter to forgive me when I answer. Other times I tell them we have two so far. Our son, and our daughter in Heaven. It just depends. There may be weird things that trigger your sadness or “inappropriate” laughter. Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself time to grieve. Give yourself space to cry. Every time I’d get in the shower, I’d bawl. Not sure why, it just was my place to let it out a little bit. I was open with our son because I didn’t want him to be scared. I told him Mommy was sad because I missed our daughter and even grown ups cry when they’re sad. He accepted this. He saved my life, gave me purpose, and made me push forward. I screamed at God, begged for forgiveness, screamed again. I literally shouted to Him that I hated him. Now, I feel terrible about that. But, just as I forgive my son, I know my father forgives me. Please know I’m lifting you up in prayer, I believe my precious daughter is sitting with Jesus and a new baby angel named Owen right now feeling nothing but love. They never sinned, never hurt anyone’s feelings, never said a bad word. They only brought joy and love in their short lives. They only KNEW joy and love. Imagine to never have your feelings hurt, experience sadness or grief. Their lives here were filled with love, safety, and comfort. At first, that did nothing for me in terms of making me feel better. Now, it does a little. My girl (your Owen) had a one way ticket to Heaven. On top of all of that, because of your selflessness you are allowing Owen to literally live on in the saving of other precious lives. I can’t even imagine being the parent of a terminally ill child and getting a phone call that another mother is allowing her child to save my child’s life. Simply amazing. There is no greater love said the Lord than to lay down one’s life for a friend. I know you wouldn’t choose this, but what a selfless, selfless gift. I may sound crazy (kind of don’t care anymore), but I talk to my daughter all the time too. Even though I’m the only one who “sees” her with me, because she is written on my heart, it gives me a little comfort (now) to remind her how much I love her, how proud of her I am. I ask her to watch over her big brother and soon-to-be little brother and sister. I tell her I miss her. Owen and your family will be on my mind and in my heart forever. God bless you. xoxo

    • Shelli

      Jamie,
      What amazing words to share. I will pray that they offer Melissa comfort. I will also pray for you and your family. God sent you to this blog for a purpose.

      Shelli

  24. Becca

    Your strength and giving nature are truely something to be admired and an inspiration to me. Owen and the rest of your boys are so blessed to have such a great mom. I will keep you and your whole family in my thoughts and prayers.

    • Terra

      My heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry. I am praying for Owen and you and your family and will continue to pay for a long time. God bless.

  25. Amy Williams

    I am in awe at your strength and courage. You are making such a selfless gift in helping others. Good will come of this; Owen will make miracles happen. You are the most amazing mother I know. You love your Owen so much that you want him to live on in others. I hope and pray that if I ever needed to make that decision, I would have as much strength and faith as you. I am truly in awe of you. As one life ends, another begins. Your Owen will live on in others. May God continue to bless and watch over your family.

  26. Martha

    Dear Mel and Family, my thoughts ans prayers have been with you since I was asked to pray for you by Jess Aultman Hammond. May God’s loving Grace and Peace be with you every step. I am so sorry for your loss. God Bless you for the gifts you are giving to others.

  27. Jenny

    Dearest Mel,
    As a fellow mom of triplet boys (11mos), I have no words. My heart is literally shattered for you and your precious babies. I have been asking God “why” and get no answer…it just doesn’t make sense. I don’t even know you and I am broken over Owen’s loss. Your faith and strength are such an inspiration to me. Although I am angry at God for allowing this to happen, I will keep praying for your heart to heal. Surely there must be a greater reason then we know at this time.

  28. Nothing is fair. NOTHING.

  29. LL

    I am sorry for your loss. I wanted to share with you a rare occurance. Yesterday, just outside of Nashville around 6:30pm (the radio picked up on it this morning) there was a triple rainbow. Our neighbors were out taking pictures and video; it was beautiful. It made me wonder how far Owen will go? I wish your family well down this long road.

  30. Wendy

    Please rest assured that the Lord our God is listening to everything your heart is crying for. He aches for us like we ache for our children, he knows your sorrow and your joys, as our children are to us, so are we to Him who loves us beyond our understanding. Our understanding of Gods will for our lives will not be known to us until we go back home to Him. Jamies post above is also written so elequently, she has a true understanding of what you are going through. Please continue to lean on your faith in God, never lose that, for He truly will sustain you and your family. Please lean on those around you who love you so very much, you don’t have to be strong every minute. I know its been written over and over in comments that you are a strong woman, you are, beyond what most others could ever be. You are an inspiration to others with your faith and grace and love for you children. I am in awe of you and my heart aches for you and your family. Owen is a gift, a precious gift given from love. God blessed you with Owen, and He will continue to bless you and your family. I know you know all of these things, but I also know you may not feel it right now. You will feel it again, God promises. Your baby is in Gods hands, perfect, filled completely with love. One second at a time, one minute, one hour, one day you will be able to breath, smile, laugh with out the pain.

  31. Another triplets mom

    Bissing Family,
    May God Bless you and keep you tight. Thank you for sharing your story. While we have never met you have touched my life so deeply and I will never forget you or Owen. Your courage and grace during this time has been an inspiration.
    Thank you from one triplets mom to another.
    God Bless,
    Kristen

  32. I hope, in the midst of all of this unspeakableness, you can feel all the love being sent to you and your family from every corner of the world…including mine.

  33. Amy Joers

    Girl you know you have your book club buddies whenever you need to talk,scream,cry or to hold up your hair. We are here for you, Doug and the boys when you need us to listen or hugs. God Bless your family…May you find peace as you go through this long hard journey.

  34. My heart is breaking for you.
    Lord, I pray that you surround Owen and this family with your love, grace, and peace. May they only seek you in this dark hour. Lord, please let them feel comrtable to yell, scream, cry, laugh, and grieve. I ask that you bless the hands and hearts of the medical staff caring for Owen in his earthly life. God, I ask that you carry Owens parents and brothers in your wing. May their hearts be filled with your love always. If it is in your will for Owen to join and be with you in a forever celebration, may your will be done. For it is not our will but yours. Lord, please help us all to remember that Owen has ONLY known JOY and LOVE on this earth. Let Owen feel the warmth of your love. LOrd, I ask that you allow Owens parents time with him to hold him and love him. Please be with them. I ask that for those who are praying for Owen feel peace and love.
    Watch over Owen always.
    Amen

  35. Chris

    I am so very sorry for your loss. I work with Doug’s friend, David K, and he shared this with me on Monday. My heart has been breaking every day since. To say I am sorry for your loss just doesn’t seem the appropriate words to convey the pure emotion that I have been feeling for you, and your family. Your faith and strength are inspiring. I am sending prayers and heartfelt wishes in hopes that you will find peace with this in the future. God Bless.

  36. Gail K

    Praying, praying, praying.

  37. Ashley

    My heart just breaks for you. I pray that God will bring you a peace that passes all understanding and that He will give you strength in your weakness. Continue to lean on Him. He knows things we could never know. I know my words aren’t enough, but I know that He is.

  38. Michele

    My prayers go out to each and every one of you.

  39. Shelli

    Melissa and Doug,
    I have been thinking of you, Owen and your entire family all day/week. My heart is so heavy for you. I have prayed so many different prayers. My prayers now are for strength, comfort and peace for your family and for the doctors, nurses, transplant team, and those children who will be receiving the most precious gift today from your beautiful son. Thank you for your demonstration of unwavering faith. I am a Christian as well, however, I have not taken my bible out to read for a while. Today, in honor of Owen, I found time to read it and absorb the Lord’s word. I plan on continuing to do this each day in honor of you, your family and your little warrior. I just wanted to share one more way God has used Owen’s perfect life. Thank you!!

  40. I just found your story today and I am so truly, incredibly sorry for your loss. I sat at my desk, eyes full of tears, as I read your blog. I was so surprised to see we are in the same city, since I was directed to your site through another blog that I follow from a different part of the country. I hope my donations to both you and Children’s Hospital help even a tiny bit, because I cannot imagine the pain you are enduring. And I hope you don’t mind, but I spread the word of your story on my blog today as well. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

  41. monica hopping

    It’s all been said, but i wish you peace. I am so amazed by your strength. I hope that never leaves you.
    I will always pray for you, your family, and little Owen.
    Much love, Monica

  42. Karen

    we will listen to every word you have to say and with no judgement!

  43. Kristen

    I am so sorry for your loss. may you find love and peace from your family and friends during this difficult time.

  44. Theresa

    I do not know you, I found out about your blog from a friend. However, I have to say that your strength amazes me. And, I hope that in the days, weeks and months that follow that you can find comfort and peace knowing that Owen is living on and that the light will always be shining.

    You may never know the reason that Owen has become your guardian angel but that is something that cannot be taken away.

    I am so sorry for the loss that you and your family are going through. But, again, your strength is amazing. I will continue to keep your family in my thoughts.

  45. mariela

    hi Mell,i’m crying right now. I remember the lasat time that i was holding Owen, i was trying to make him sleep because i was about to leave. but he woke up again when i put him down to sleep. i remember every thuersday that i was there he will always smile to me,he will always be happy to see me. to see the smiles of the babies when i got there was amazing. But what i know is that God knows what he is doing. and I know that he will give you strengh, you will be ok i promise and i will be there sometimes with you and the babies so you can talk to me.
    love you mell, we will just have to pray for owen and you guys…
    mariela segura

  46. Sending you love, peace, strength and lifting you, Owen, your family and the medical staff up to the Lord. Your grace is admirable and the miracles that will come through Owen are immeasurable and brighter than every light. You are in our thoughts and prayers today, tomorrow and always. Another angel in heaven lighting the sky brighter than it has ever shown before.

  47. Cathy

    Wishing you peace of mind and heart. May you feel the warmth of God’s love wrapped around you in the days to come.

  48. Sandie Pfeiffer

    We know your life will never be the same, of course it can’t be, but with the help of your God, your wonderful family and your great friends and many prayers, you will eventually find a way to get thru the difficult days ahead. We will continue to uplift your family in prayers.

  49. Megan

    A friend posted a link to your blog this morning on facebook. I’m a transplant coordinator and happened to be up early as I was finishing 24 hours on call. I just wanted to let you know how much I admire you-I’ve been working in transplant for 7 years now and I’ve always said how our donor families are my inspiration-my heroes. I’ve worked on both sides of transplant-I’ve been the one that approached families for consent and worked on donors as they gave the gift of life and I work on the “other” side now with recipients. Thank you-thank you for giving so selflessly in your time of sorrow. We transplant coordinators, physicians, surgeons and recipients do NOT forget about the gift you have given. Thank you. You’re in my prayers.

  50. Natalie

    Bissing Family,
    In this unimaginable time, don’t forget that Owen is with God. He’s Home, and with that maybe you can smile, even if it’s just for a second. hugs to each and everyone that knew baby Owen and is joining in the mourning of his loss here on earth but his celebration of life now in Heaven!
    “With hope” by steven curtis chapman may be a song you listen to that will express just how you feel.
    May God bless you all as your family regrows and continues with Owen’s memory forever!

  51. Erin Cimbalnik

    My heart is breaking for you. As a mother, I cannot imagine the pain that you are enduring. I have been praying for God to give you and your family strength during this tragic time. I am amazed by your strength already. Please know that those of us who have been reading Owen’s story have been thinking of you and praying for you and for Owen and we will continue to do so.

  52. Nicole Tempesta

    You are in my prayers. I pray for the Lord to comfort you and give you the strength you need to get through this time, and give you the strength to continue being a good mother to your other little lambs.. God Bless you and God bless Owen and keep him in his peace…

  53. Kate

    Mel and family,

    I found your blog through another blog that I read.

    I am so incredibally sorry for your loss. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

    Kate

  54. Kate

    Mel and Family,
    We’ve never met, but I love you all. Mel, I applaud your strength and eloquence in this unimaginable situation, and I can’t imagine what you are all going to. I am praying for you all, and am appreciating each of my munchkins a little bit more. Like Garth Brooks said, “If tomorrow never comes will she (or he) know how much I love her (him)” Owen knows he is loved, as are you all. So sorry for your loss…
    Kate

  55. Jenny

    Mel…
    Jenny here, all the way back from middle school (and the Kohls CDC). Just wanted you to know how much Owen, and your words, have touched so many lives….mine included. Prayers are being echoed for you and your family all throughout our center, throughout Waukesha, throughout Fox River Christian Church (my church), and throughout my own home. My family, my boyfriend, and I have been following the blog and recently offered up prayers of thanks for YOU…for being so incredibly strong and courageous….just plain inspirational. Even though you may not feel like it right now, your unselfish gift, and the love you demonstrate as a mother has touched our lives to be stronger people. We are reminded, from you, to focus on life’s blessings, and find incredible strength in life’s trials. Thank you for sharing this blog with so many people that are finding unending hope in it.
    We have been leaving our lights on for Owen as well…. what an incredible angel. And only one verse has been playing over and over in my head the past few days…I hope it brings some renewed encouragement, even if for just a moment.
    “So do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will help you, I will strengthen you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” -Isaiah 41:10
    God bless you guys…. (and give Jaden many hugs from us girls at Kohls…) 😉
    -Jenny

  56. Mari

    Mel,
    I love you for doing this. For being strong and for looking at the miracles you are providing for so many other families.
    Owen will live on in them!
    May God give you strength and love and peace now!
    Mari
    (from Greece)

  57. Erika

    I weep for you, my heart literally aches for you. I can’t imagine what you are going through. You are so strong and have such a strong faith, you have touched so many lives. Praying for peace and comfort for you and your family.

  58. Steph

    I am amazed at your strength and your faith. The world would be a much better place if there were more women like you. I pray for you and your family and can’t imagine the pain you are experiencing.

  59. Jaclyn

    One step at a time, and remember to breathe. You are trully going through the hardest thing you probbly ever will. I really think it is amazing that you guys are donating his organs and pray it gives you some comfort. I wish we could of donated Hayden’s but he was gone before he made it to the hospital and even knows they worked on him there they were unable to get him back. Praying for you guys. You will get through this I promise. Will your life ever be the same No it won’t. You will always have that part of you missing, but you have to take one step at a time. It is the only way to get through it. The only way I got through it was my faith and my other kids. I know they needed me and still need me when I have my bad days. So sorry

  60. Kali

    I’m a friend of Katie’s and my daughter passed away almost 7 years ago. I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am and that it does get a little easier over time. For me I only had my son at that point and have since had 2 more daughters. The most beautiful thing that has coem out of it is that the 3 of them have learned compassion and what love really is. Because love never ends. Owen will always be your son and you will always love him. My thoughts and prayers are with your family.
    There’s a great kids grief group called Kyle’s Korner that we attended for a few years.

  61. Heather Howard

    Melissa, Doug and Boys,
    I do not have many words to say other than I know you are walking through the valley and you will eventually reach the mountain top. “God has a new rose bud in His rose garden today”, that is what my Mamaw told me when my big brother died, he and my sister are twins and they were 6 and I was 5. That statement made a lot of sense to me at that age, Mamaw also told me Ricky was an angel and he would sit on my shoulder and always be with me. A few years ago I got a tattoo of blue rose bud, with a halo around on my shoulder, it helped me find closure, 30+ years later. I am praying for you and your family, thank you for sharing Owen with the world.

    God bless you,
    Heather

  62. Heather Howard

    Melissa,
    I do not have many words to say other than I know you are walking through the valley and you will eventually reach the mountain top. “God has a new rose bud in His rose garden today”, that is what my Mamaw told me when my big brother died, he and my sister are twins and they were 6 and I was 5. That statement made a lot of sense to me at that age, Mamaw also told me Ricky was an angel and he would sit on my shoulder and always be with me. A few years ago I got a tattoo of blue rose bud, with a halo around on my shoulder, it helped me find closure, 30+ years later. I am praying for you and your family, thank you for sharing Owen with the world.

    God bless you,
    Heather

  63. Tina Tessar

    You have alot of people that will listen to you when you have something on your mind an just need to talk just write on your blog an there will be someone there to talk to you I will respond to your blog when I see it an hopefully there is something that I can say to you that will help you just stay strong Owen will always be with you he will never be totally gone is life will live on. My prayers an thoughts are with you an your family.

  64. Pat

    God bless you and your family. Your Little Warrior has touched many lives through your writings and we have been drawn close.

    You asked “Who will listen to my inappropriate comments and jokes … just because I don’t know what else to say?” My answer is anyone of us. We will be here for you so draw on the strength of those who love you to help you get you through this. We may never know the reason but what we do know is that God has another precious angel to help in His work.

  65. Candace

    I don’t even know what to say to you but I need to come up with something to say. How do you comfort a mommy who just lost her precious child. My heart honestly hurts just reading your story, I’m crying as if he were my own baby. If my pain for you in this strong I can’t even imagine what you are feeling. I’m so sorry, beyond words, I’m so so so sorry that this had to happen to you. Owen is beautiful and you made such a brave decision. I say “is” as in present tense because parts of Owen are still beating strong. Owen will live on for many many years in the lives of other children and in the heart of those his story has touched. Owen just saved the lives of other beautiful babies. Because of you and sweet little Owen another mother isn’t going to have to feel the loss you are feeling. You couldn’t possibly give anyone a better gift than the gift of life to a child. You are AMAZING!! God bless you and Owen. If you ever need anyone to talk to you, I will be here to listen. Live on, sweet little Owen.. You are one amazing little boy who just saved the lives of others.. WOW!! Big hugs!! xo

  66. Sarah

    I am a first time reader of your blog, and my heart is so heavy for you. Our first and only son is just 16 months old and I am a registered nurse. I want to praise you for praying for the nurses. I have a pediatric surgery/operating room background and as rewarding as the job was, it is devastatingly hard watching families like yours go through what you’re going through. You and your family are in my prayers. May you find peace and comfort in the Lord. God bless.

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