Three

When pregnant I told the following story so many times.

When we found out we were having twins we were so excited.  We felt so blessed to have twins.  Doug’s brother and sister are twins.  So special.  Then we found out we were having triplets.  It’s funny how just one more turned from fun to terrifying.  With twins I have two hands to feed two babies at a time.  I have two legs to rock two babies with.  God didn’t give me three of anything!

There would always a baby being “left out”.

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17 Comments

Filed under Hospital Stay, Mommyhood Meditations, Posted by Melissa

17 responses to “Three

  1. Katherine W

    The Lord surely knows how much courage you have displayed this past week Melissa, and He is even more keenly aware of your sacrifice. May He shower your family with peace and blessings in the coming days as you give your attention to other details.
    ~Katherine

  2. Stacy

    I just wanted to say what an inspiration you and your family have been in my life. I too do not know you. I too found you through a f/b link. I believe that hundreds, if not thousands, have been touched by your ‘story’ this week. Reading your blog this week has caused me to take a look at my own faith and is drawing me closer to God. You have a fantastic ability through your words to make us all feel like we know you and your family. Because of your selflessness in sharing the most intimate of your thoughts and feelings, you have caused me and many others to live in the day and let the small things go. Your ability to champion on and allow your son’s death to provide life and hope to so many is amazing. Your little Warrior is going to be able to continue to give life to others. What an amazing story you will be able to share with your children. You are truly a Hero to me and I am going to strive hard each day to make positive changes in my life. I continue to pray for peace and healing for you family. Thank you for allowing us to share in your pain, grief, sadness, anger, life, hope and faith. Your parents, family and friends must be so proud of you. Thank you for encouraging changes in my own life.

  3. Jen

    To say that I am sorry for your loss doesn’t even scratch the surface of the pain I feel for you and your family. I have been praying and continue to pray for you. May God guide you through your sorrow…May you find clarity and peace…May you continue to be strong for your children…May Owen live on forever.

  4. Jen

    Stacy said it best. I too came across your story via a link on fb and have been oh so touched by your story and your uncanny ability to allow us to live in shoes (if you will) through your words. Your strength is admirable and the lives of everyone you have touched have forever been changed. I can not imagine that anyone can feel what you and your family must be going through; however, through your words and/or venting…..you allow us to live in the present moment and always remember that there things more important than what we might be going through. I will continue to pray for and wish the best for everyone affected by Owen’s all too soon demise and I hope that as the days pass; the reasoning for such a tragedy becomes more clear. With all of my heart, I send hugs, kisses and the best of wishes for his brothers, mom, dad and extended family!

  5. Eliza

    I have awoken each day, thinking of you and your family. Trying to imagine what you must be thinking, going through, feeling. It is impossible to imagine. My heart breaks for you and your boys. Know that you are in the hearts of many. I continue to think and pray about you all and will continue to do so in the days/weeks to come.

  6. Hi Melissa,
    I found your blog through a friend on facebook. A frien thought I could lend some words of hope and encouragement….as I have experienced just what you are living now. My son was put down for a nap at daycare….from what I understand, he wasn’t asleep yet….but he was found minutes later…unresponsive. In our case, though, his heart was not able to be revived.
    Nothing I can say can make anything better….nothing can take the hurt away. Not even time can heal this hurt. I admire your strength and your fight! I recognize the warrior mother….I love that quality in us as mothers….always hoping, believing, and fighting for our children. As you’ve said, Owen will live on….and I am so glad that that has been possible for you through donation. He will live on through you forever. Prayers are going up for you and your family in NC. Owen…and all of your boys…is so beautiful. your story has touched so many….Owen will continue to change lives as his story lives on.

  7. Marie

    When we found out we were having triplets my precious (then 4 yo) daughter said, “too bad you don’t have a third boob Mommy, how will you feed them all?” I well remember having thoughts race through my head, “We need three cribs, we need three swings, we need three cars, we need three houses.” Then, we embraced having three only to deliver one of them born still. I am so very sorry that you have been forced to join this “club” of moms whose lives aren’t as they should be, whose houses aren’t as full as they should be. Please know that you are not alone, as your precious warrior is giving life and hope to others, there are warriors out here for you when you need us.

    Thank you for sharing Owen with us, I pray for you to be surrounded by peace and comfort in the coming weeks.

  8. Gail K

    I am moved to tears by your strength and determination. I will continue to keep your family and little Owen in my prayers. Owen is with the angels now and is so proud of his brave mommy.

  9. Leah

    I have b/g twins and a 3 yr old boy and 5 yr old girl. There have been quite a few times when getting ready for the world day to day I have thought “hey, we only meant to have 3, wouldn’t it be easier to get out of the house if I only had one baby to pack up…” These are natural thoughts. I cannot imagine the strength it took to care for 3 newborns and a 4 yr old. You are right. Everything is set up for 2. One more would have been terrifying, whereas somehow twins don’t seem as daunting at all. Don’t you dare think for a moment you wished for any of this. Your thoughts are natural. My thoughts as I pack up two and think if I had only conceieved one are also natural. Of course we would never want to lose one of our babies. I have to believe God gave you three because you were/are strong enough to care for them and strong enough to share one when his time was called. You are so right that he has accomplished more in his 6 mo than most of us could ever do in a full lifetime. You should be so proud of yourself and your Owen. Again, I am praying for you, especially for the days that come, the days you are alone with your grief and thoughts when the rest of the world is just moving on, going about their business. I would love to be with you on one of those days and just hug you and let you cry, scream, yell, pound your fists. God bless you and your beautiful family!

  10. Beth Anne

    Melissa,
    When we found out we were having triplets, many thoughts raced through our heads. We were in disbelief as we thought, “What are we going to do?” and “How are we going to manage?”
    After we lost Allison our lives were faced with a different kind of disbelief. All we could think was, “What are we going to do?” and “How are we going to manage?”

    I’m so sorry that you and Doug are on this journey. You, your boys and your families are in my thoughts and in my heart.
    Beth Anne Krahn
    mommy of our angel, Alli, her co-triplet brothers and her two older brothers
    (and proud SEWMOT member)

  11. Cindy

    I’m a fellow triplet mom. We will always be cheering for you. You have shown such strength and courage. May God continue to watch over you and bless you.

  12. I also can identify with wanting twins and being told “we see two in there…” Until Clint looked closer at the screen and asked the doctor “are you looking at those little bubble-type things? Because I think I see three…” Terrifying would be the word I also used to describe that feeling. Disbelief then, and disbelief now.

    Heavenly Father, hold sweet little perfect Owen in your arms and hold his mama, dada, and brothers even tighter right now. Continue to give them strength to face every day, every minute. Hold them up even after all calms down in the weeks and months to come and help them to know they always have someone to turn to. Thank you for the miracle of life to three others because of Owen! We love you. Amen.

    Mel and Doug we’re keeping you always in our prayers! XO!

    Rachel (also fellow SEWMOT member)

  13. God did give you three of smething: Three amazing boys born a few minutes apart. Three of one; Tripets. God did not take this away, and one day I know you will see this, know have one of them with you always for all eternity.

    I remember asking God, as my son was dying, to please please, please make my son whole again. I remember telling God “we can do this, we can handle all three, please just let my son stay with me..” And he did, just not in the way I was asking for. My son is with me, in my heart, every single moment of every day.

    I am writing this through tears shed for your journey, please excuse typos. My heart truly goes out to you. If you ever need to talk to ohers that understand your walk, email me, there are many. Anytime, really.

    Take care.

  14. Rachel

    You will always have 3. You are minus 1 physical child, but you still have 3 beautiful children and now you have 1 amazing guardian angel. I am a firm believer in guardian angels. They have protected me and comforted me so many times in my life. My dad was in a car accident 7 years ago and if his car had been out in the intersection 1 more inch he would have died. 1 inch! The comment I heard the most was that it was a miracle he was still alive and didn’t have major life threatening injuries. I believe his mother was watching out for him that day. Owen is an angel and I’m sure he is watching over you and your family and helping you through this. I don’t know how you feel, I can even comprehend the pain everyone is going through, so I won’t tell you that everything will be ok or that he’s in a better place, or that time will heal the wounds, but I can tell you that you and your family are in my prayers and what you have shared with everyone has been a blessing for me and humbled me greatly. Thank You

  15. Mel, I started reading your blog when our mutual friend Rachel asked for prayer for Owen. I have been praying for you and your family – my heart is heavy for you.
    I’ve been listening to this song and thinking of you. I wanted to share it with you. http://youtu.be/iOufqWodFNo
    -Kathleen

  16. Amie

    I also found your story through a prayer request on facebook……Reading your blog has brought me to tears and has touched my heart and soul forever. There are no words I feel I can say to comfort you, but please know that I am praying for you and your family continuously. You are an amazing person, and I want to thank you for sharing Owen and his story with each and everyone of us.
    Lots of love and prayers from Ohio

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