Time

The time was going so slow. I just wanted this to be over. I was almost looking forward to sharing Owen’s story. Who pressed the fast forward button? Owens funeral is looming on the horizon.

Will I find the right words? Will I be able to express my gratitude? How will I possibly make it thru the whole day? When I dress in the morning, should I wear makeup? I haven’t cried in days …. I’m so numb. Will it be the same tomorrow?

I want to slow time down. I’m not ready to burry my son. He has so much more to do in life … Kindergarten, try more foods other an sweet potatoes, graduate from high school, fall in love, have kids of his own. I’m broken that he won’t do any of these.

I’ve been trying to think of something on a happier note to share. Perhaps a Jaden story. But I cant find nothing. My mind is full of Owen. Flashes of that Saturday night.

Finding him in his crib FLASH. Laying him on the floor FLASH. Starting chest compressions. His eyes were open FLASH. At Waukesha Memorial trying to stand in the corner. Such a huge relief when his heart started to beat again FLASH.

And it just keeps going. I’m trying to stay focused on the present, on Logan, Jaden and Weston. It will come. It will get worse before it gets better. But it will come. I pray that I am strong enough.

I know it’s ok to need my friends and family … I am just numb now. I fear when I will start to feel and it cripples me. I pray for continued strength.

Love, Mel

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108 Comments

Filed under Mommyhood Meditations, Owen's Gone, Posted by Melissa

108 responses to “Time

  1. Melissa N

    Melissa!
    I haven’t stopped thinking of you and your family!!! I’ve been sending prayers your way everyday for continued strength to get through this difficult time!! God Bless Your family tomorrow!! And though I won’t be able to attend the funeral tomorrow…I will be wearing Warrior Orange for Owen. Just take one minute at a time!!

    • Susanna

      Melissa,
      You don’t know me, but one of your co-workers’ wife posted your blog on facebook and asked us to pray for you and your family. I am a nurse in Pittsburgh and I work with infants. So of course, your story caught my interest.
      Your heartache has reached out across the nation to my heart as well. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. There are no words to express your feeling of loss and no one can express the exact words that you need through this. But know that you have support around you, lean on them on the days that you are weak and soak up the love that Owen has brought you. He will always be with you and you will always be his mommy and even though he never spoke, he loved his mommy and daddy.
      I just wanted to let you know that your vivid expression of your feelings speaks volumes to me. As a nurse, it is heartbreaking to see a family be so shattered. But I also want you to know you are doing a great thing, by giving a part of Owen to live on in others. What a blessing to them!
      God bless you and give you peace through this difficult time.
      Susanna

    • Emily Schober

      Everyone on Facebook’s Triplets Mommies site is wearing orange for Owen. It is a beautiful site, a sea of orange. It’s really all we can do, wish we could do more. You are in our thoughts and prayers, the triplet mommies of North America, England, Australia, and probably more. Owen is/was such a beautiful little smiling child. No words.

  2. Cynthia

    God will carry you. He will comfort you. He will give you words to speak. They don’t have to be right, just your words. From your heart. He will give you thoughts to think. He will hold you. He is holding you. He is holding Owen. He will be holding you through this all. Especially tomorrow.

    I will be wearing orange for Owen tomorrow. Your Little Warrior will be in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow – here in the Pacific Northwest.

    Cynthia
    Washington State

  3. I am praying for Owen, for you and for your family. Every post I read leaves me sobbing for your loss. You are so strong and you will get through tomorrow and each day after for Owen. God bless….

  4. The ache never goes away, but in time the tears and grieving will come. I could not cry at my son’s funeral. Reading your blogs brings back so many of the same thoughts and feelings you are having right now. I was so numb and had this weird feeling of comfort. I felt like God was holding me and helping me stand strong. My son was gone for nearly 6 months before I could really grieve for him. I cried all night. My entire body hurt and ached like the day he died. Talking about him is good. Encourging others to talk about him helps. I still love talking about my son. I share his story with anyone willing to listen that don’t give me that “I feel sorry for you look” I beg people not to feel sorry for me all the time…unfortunately depending on my mood it stops me from sharing that my children are not twins, but triplets. Shout Owen’s name from the roof top. He may have had to leave, but with the selfless gift you gave to other families, Owen is making miracles happen all around you. You may be broken now, but the pieces do start to fall back in place. Life is never the same again, there is always a piece missing but happy times do come.

  5. Nell

    Mel,

    The love that you have for your family is expressed in each one of the posts on your Blog. I have smiled as you have shared happy thoughts and cried as I read of your loss. Owen is a true warrior and you should be proud. I know that Owen is proud of you, your husband, Jaden, Weston and Logan. He knows that you too are warriors and will continue on in his name.

    I am one of the many that found out about you through Facebook. Although I have never met you personally, I have found myself thinking and praying for you and your family throughout the day. I will continue to think of you tomorrow. I have my orange shirt all ready. Know that there is one more person in NY celebrating Owen and wishing there was more I could do.

    One night I had a dream
    I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
    Across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
    For each scene I noticed two sets
    of footprints in the sand,
    one belonging to me
    and the other to my Lord.
    When the last scene of my life shot before me
    I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
    There was only on set of footprints.
    I realized that this was at the lowest
    and saddest times in my life.
    This always bothered me
    and I questioned the Lord
    about my dilemma.
    “Lord, you told me when I decided to follow You,
    You would walk and talk with me all the way.
    But I’m aware that during the most troublesome
    times of my life there is only one set of footprints.
    I don’t understand why, when I needed you most,
    you leave me.”
    He whispered, “My precious, precious child,
    I love you and will never leave you
    never, ever during your times of trial and testings.
    When you saw only one set of footprints
    It was then that I carried you.”

  6. Chris

    Your strength will come at amazing times. You’ll crash at amazing times. Eventually you’ll find.a ‘new normal’ one that celebrates Owen’s life and the impact he has had on so many. Owen’s brothers will amaze you. Oh the crazy things we did after Ben… Somehow you survive. Tomorrow will be hard. But cherish it. Tell wonderful stories about Owen, his brothers and the special times you had together, the dreams you had for him and the things your thankful for.

    I still write Ben letters. Tonight I asked that he welcomes his new friend.

    I know you don’t know me, but my family is thinking and praying a lot for you.

  7. Its my 1st time for visiting ur blog. i read ur posts. u are really so strong! God bless u. i always pray for u, ur family, and of course, ur son! Once again, God bless u.

    meicaa,
    Indonesia

  8. Kristi

    Melissa,
    I have been following your story for over week now since Arin posted the link on her FB page. I have cried over each post and what an amazing woman you are. Although I don’t know you in person, I can tell that you are a great mother and friend and your faith will help you along during this traumatic time. Owen is now in God’s hands and will be watching over you and his family. God bless you and know that I will be wearing orange tomorrow at work all the way in AZ in honor or your little warrior.

    Love, Kristi in AZ

  9. kellie

    My family is thinking of all of you ,we all will be wearing orange tomorrow .and just take it minute by minute .big hugs .

  10. Melissa,
    I can’t wear orange until after work tomorrow. It violates hospital dress code. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. God will protect you and give you strength. When you cry, remember it is normal to do so.
    Love,
    Norma in MO.

  11. Tamara Whelan-Malone

    Still thinking of you, still praying for you, sending you strength and courage in the days ahead. We will be wearing warrior orange here in NY tomorrow. Hold on tight Melissa, its gonna be a bumpy ride, but I fully believe you will get through this with the same grace and courage you have since this journey began.

  12. Julianne

    Melissa,
    I heard of little Owen’s fight at Children’s Hospital, where I work as a pediatric nurse. As soon as I heard report the morning after he arrived, I began praying for him and your family. I prayed that God would show you a peaceful path, that God would make it clear where He wanted Owen to be. I prayed for you as a mother, allowing myself to imagine myself in your shoes for a second, and I cried for you. I think many mothers have cried for you. Your strength and humilty astound me. Your and your husband’s drive to do good and donate Owen’s precious organs took my breath away. Thank you for sharing your story and know that you have so many people praying for you and your family. Your boys are so beautiful, Owen was so beautiful and his soul remains beautiful, alive in others thanks to you and your husband. I saw this blog on Facebook and I will post a link to it as well because I truly believe that through your story, however painful, you will help many, many people. God Bless your family.

  13. Teri

    I read Owen’s obituary in the paper tonight, it was very sweet and expressed what a warrior he was. I think you are warrior too. Look how hard you have worked to keep everyone updated on Owen’s progress. Trying to balance things at home with your other boys and being there for Owen. Expressing your feelings thru this blog while in the midst of this crisis. Keeping the faith even when you feel like crumbling. I think tomorrow will be hard but will also be comforting to see everyone there. It will bring some closure. I too think of the things he will miss doing, but also remember all he has done.. It has been an honor for me to feel as if I knew him. You will have friends and family to support you on the road ahead, and those of us who lift you up in prayer. I’ll be there tomorrow, in orange, celebrating Owen’s life. And I vote for make-up but no mascara. I may do the same!

  14. Eliza

    I have no words of wisdom.
    May God continue to hold you and comfort
    you and give you strength. Will be thinking
    of you all, all day tomorrow. And in the
    days and weeks to come. God Bless you
    and your family. I am so very sorry
    for what you are going through.

  15. My heart aches for you. I am thinking of you and praying for your entire family. May God give you the strength to get through this.

  16. Barb

    Mel, you and Doug are absolutely amazing to me! I don’t know how I would handle the situation if I was in your shoes. But just know that you have many friends and new followers who have been following everything with what happened with Owen. I may not be able to wear orange tomorrow but my little boy will have Owen Orange on for the Little Warrior. I am gonna give you a huge hug tomorrow and tell you how amazing you are.. And will cry right along with you! *hugs*

  17. Amber

    I don’t know you, but I’ve read your entire blog. I will be thinking of you tomorrow. You are so strong and will find the words. My children and I will be wearing warrior orange for Owen. We are to far away to attend his celebration in person, but we will be there in sprit. Sending many more prayers from Seattle.

  18. Nancy G

    Tomorrow will be hard but you have tremendous strength. Xoxoxo

  19. Patricia

    Melissa, the strength that you have shown this past week is beyond astounding. I have cried for you, Owen, and your entire family so many times this week I lost count. Your heartfelt updates have shown so many of us the importance of life and love, and to truly appreciate how precious life is and how quickly it can be taken away. Thanks to you, we have hugged and kissed our children more this week and been thankful for each day. All four of your boys are beautiful, wonderful individuals. Your and Doug’s decision to give Owen’s organs so that he could live on in others was an incredibly unselfish act. I know that many of us have donated to the Miracle Marathon in honor of Owen. He has touch so many lives you cannot even imagine what a huge impact he has had on others. I continue to pray for all of you and will be there for you tomorrow wearing orange as part of Owen’s army.

  20. Melissa:
    God, your faith in Him, your family, friends, and those who have followed you here will carry you through.
    The words will come. You’ll know what to do when the time is right. Lean on others when you need to; be strong when you can.
    Owen will intercede on behalf of his loved ones. Ask Owen to intercede, to ask God on your behalf, to give you what you need.
    Mel, you are wise beyond your years. As you so eloquently expressed in an earlier blog posts some weeks or months ago, children are a mystery. Owen’s life is a beautiful mystery; your love for him and your faith are a great witness.

    “At present we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face. At present I know partially; then I shall know fully, as I am fully known.” – 1 Cor. 13:12

  21. Melissa, you will get through tomorrow. And the next day and the day after that. One step at a time, you will get through it, with your husband and your boys. Owen will never be forgotten – you are there to tell his stories, and his brothers will too, they who will carry his spirit with them always. Sending love and light your way.

  22. Casey

    You don’t know me, but I’ve thought about you and Owen every day since I heard your story. I do not have orange clothing, but my toes are painted orange now.

    God bless you and your family in this time. Owen is loved and cherished by so many people.

  23. From all the way over here your story has found me and touched me. I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and Owen today, and I wish you all the strength and dignity to see this terrible and beautiful day through to the end.

    When I lost my babies, I was touched by the following verse:
    An Angel, in the Book of Life, wrote down our baby’s birth,
    And whispered, as she closed the book, “Too beautiful for earth.”

    All my thoughts and prayers are with you. xxx

  24. kris

    Hi Melissa and Family,

    Although I have to work today and will miss Owen’s celebration, I am still wearing orange and wearing it proudly! He is a brave warrior and he will shine upon you today. May God’s grace wrap you all today…thinking and praying for you all.

  25. Jessica

    God will give you all the strengh, grace, and courage you need today. We’re all wearing orange for Owen!

  26. Jann Hedden

    His strength is perfect when our strength is gone;
    He’ll carry us when we can’t carry on.
    Raised in His power, the weak become strong;
    His strength is perfect, His strength is perfect.

    My thoughts and prayers will be with you this day. HE will give you the strength to get through it. Owen’s story has touched so many lives; your faith through it all has inspired many. God be with you this day.

  27. Marcie distefano

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family today…

  28. Ann Gagnon

    Melissa, I first heard your story on the radio last week. Carole Kane was reading from your blog. Needless to say as I was driving the tears started flowing and I could hardly see the road. My daughter said that she was reading your blog and I read the whole thing on Sunday. I can’t stop thinking about what you’re going through. You and your entire family have been in my thoughts and prayers constantly since I heard about baby Owen. I’ll be wearing Orange today and lifting Owen up in prayer. I know he’s sitting on Jesus’ lap and full of joy to be with Him and the angels…God Bless You

  29. Missi

    Like so many others you do not know me and I do not know you and also like so many others that have posted I am a Mom of Multiples. Since reading Owen’s story that you have so beautifully told I have prayed for your family every moment of everyday. I admire your honesty, your faith, your determination, your love of your family, and your openess of sharing your sweet sweet Owen with the world.
    Today, my twins and I are proudly wearing Orange in West Virginia in honor and in celebration of your Owen.

  30. Jessica

    I prayed for you all night as I lie awake thinking of your sweet angel. Let God and Owen hold you up today as they are with you always. God bless you and your amazing family. You will get through today…Yes worse before better, but it is what must happen for your real healing to begin. We are proudly wearing orange today in honor of a little warrior!

  31. Sherry Linzmeier

    I have been reading all your blogs and I hope writing them has provided some comfort and relief. Do not worry about today and if you will say the right thing or not. There is nothing right or wrong to say right now. Tell everyone about your little Owen and share any and all stories. You are on a roller coaster ride that will eventually even out and the hills will be less difficult to bear. You will find a new normal and life will be joyful again even though you will always miss Owen and regret what he is missing. Somewhere we have to believe there was a different plan for our sons and only God knows that answer. You will be strong for Logan, Jayden, & Weston and you will see Owen through them as the years go on. Hold on tight to anyone and everyone you need to AND when the days come that you just can not face the world and need a day to yourself, TAKE it. Ask someone to take over for the day and just let the day unfold or stay in bed, or read a book, or just sit there and look into space. Today will be hard for everyone and I am thinking about all of you and praying for you all. Sherry

  32. Bobbie

    Melissa,
    I have been following your blog for a week now. I have cried many times. I found the blog from a friend on facebook. I had told my husband the story and he said he knew you from Kohls and have worked with you before, Kris Sieczkowski (the phone man). I want you to know that I will be wearing orange for Owen today and that Kris is proudly wearing orange for Owen today at Kohls. God bless you and your family. Thank you for sharing your story and your heart. You have reminded me to say “I love you just that one extra time”.

  33. Mariola

    Let the strength of everyone around you carry you through today and the days to come. Thoughts and prayers with you.

  34. Abbi

    Mel,

    I am so sorry for your loss. I found this video and know you believe that the message is. It may help the difficult times ahead to remember you will see Owen again. I hope it helps. My thought and prayers are with you!

    http://mormon.org/plan-of-happiness/#what-happens-when-i-die

    Much Love!
    Abbi
    Indiana

  35. Jill S

    As my boys and I sit here with orange on as we start our day, know that we too are thinking of you and your family today!

  36. Mary

    Today I reached for my orange nail polish. Until this morning, it was just that: orange nail polish. Today, it will become my warrior spirit. I take the bottle from the shelf. I think of you and your family. I think of your Owen. I ponder all the lives he has touched. Family. Friends. Strangers. The three recipients of his donations. Their friends. Their families; present and future. His warrior spirit will march on! So in honor of Owen, and his warrior spirit that will march on into eternity, I paint my toenails orange. And as I march through my day, I will try to do Owen proud. And I will send my prayers to you for strength and peace.

    Thank you for sharing your story. I feel proud and blessed to have found your blog. May God hold the Bissing family gently in the palm of his hand.

  37. We are all praying for you and your family in this sad time.. May God give you strength and lift you us… Celebrate Owen’s life.. Mom in Massachusetts
    We are honoring Owens life by wearing Orange… ( hope these pics upload)

  38. Amy

    Oh God I am so so sorry. I am so sorry. I read your blog while pregnant, right up until your beautiful babies were 2 months old. Then life happened and I stopped reading, for no real reason then I didn’t expect anything less then happily ever after for you guys. I feel so awful that I missed out on most of his journey. I feel so bad that my memories of him are super hero onesies and baby showers and belly pics. I wish I had been there every step of the way, instead of just reading back now. Today I go in to find out if my own pregnancy is doing ok. I’ll be thinking of you and your Owen while I am at the doctor’s office. Wishing we were both anywhere else today.

  39. Laura W

    Mel and Family –

    You are stronger then you know! You will be weak. You will be strong. Time will help your pain. You will NEVER forget Owen. I wont be able to make it to his funeral but know that there wont be one second we all out here wont be thinking of you. We are all behind you. If you listen to the radio – out on Klove. God will give you comfort through the songs. We love you Mel! Owen is Alive with Jesus!!!!! How amazing is that?!

  40. elizabeth westbrook

    You will have what you need. I remember well how I felt the day of Laura’s funeral. It has been almost six years, but I remember the immense LOVE and SUPPORT that we felt. If I would have had a choice, I would have had the service go on for hours. You are in a great place at Ascension, with great people. Remember all the thoughts and feelings you have today are OK. Not everything will go perfectly, but it will all go exactly the way it is meant to.. If someone around you can remember to have cold water, juice, soft kleenex, advil, immodium and tums handy…they are sometimes what are needed…don’t hesitate to stop the line of people to go to the bathroom. Have someone who is there for YOU who walks you to the bathroom so no one boombards you. Hopefully that helps. I am so sorry. I am not able to be there today, but from now on, when I see orange, I also see Owen and pray for you all…

  41. Jeanette Mercado

    Mel,
    I know this has got to be hard. You have already showed us how strong you are. Keep being strong. I know trust me I am no one to talk becuase I really do doubt I would have the strength you have had to get threw this difficult time. I am honoring our little OWen by wearing Orange today. Little Warrioir of ours will forver be in our hearts. I wish I could have made the funeral even though I don;t know you and your family, this story has touched me so much I feel so close to you guys. May god give you the strength to move forward from this. Owen will always be with us. God bless!

  42. karen shaffer

    My heart aches for you and your family, I pray that God holds you close during this difficult time and gives your strength when people say things that are meant to nice but do not come out just right. Grieve however feels best to you and let NO ONE judge you or clainm to know how you feel, we are all individuals. Be kind and patient with each other and also with yourself!

  43. My family is praying the Good Lord grants your family strength, hope, and peace on such a difficult day. My girls and I are wearing Orange for Owen today, to celebrate his life, and the love your family has for him. He will not be forgotten!!!!!! God Bless you all……. A fellow Christian Mother of Multiples.

  44. Dana

    Mel,

    I have been following your blog about Owen almost from the beginning. I have cried with you and for you. I cry now as I write this. Everyone has said it a million times over. God will be with you today and always. You say that it isn’t fair that Owen couldn’t experience the “milestones” of life. I say that Owen has accomplished more in his short life than people who live a lifetime. Our destiny is eternal life with God in Heaven. God just needed him there a little sooner. I believe that God has a plan for our lives well before we are even born. God saw your strength and your faith and knew that he could give you the special gift of Owen to take care of until God called him back to His arms. I weep with you and pray with you and for you. There will come a time usually when you are alone, when emotions will be held in check no longer and you will cry loud and hard and that’s ok. One day those images that you have will diminish and smiling loving ones will fill there place. You will never forget them, but they will fade. I have 4 children (no multiples) with the youngest being 16 months. I have held him closer, kissed him more and prayed that he wake up everytime I put him down since hearing your story. I thank God that all of my kids are healthy, but now realize that can change on a dime. We wear orange today to honor Owen. I will never forget him and the impact he has had on my life. I am truly heartbroken over your loss, but I know that one day you will see Owen again and until then he will live in your heart and your dreams. I look forward to hearing amazing happy stories about Owen’s brothers. May God bless you and hold you today and always.

    love,
    Dana

  45. Sara Benesh

    Hang in there, kiddo. (I do feel like you’re a kid — way too young to be going through this!!!!) My thoughts are with you today and orange is on my wrist. Everything orange I see makes me think of Owen. And you, and your family. I wish you peace and comfort and strength on this very difficult day. Sending you prayers, strength, and love.

  46. Mishelle

    From the first moment I started reading your blog I was riveted; I laughed at the antics of your boys as they remind me of my own 4 boys-and then I cried and my heart broke into pieces for you when Owen was so suddenly taken from you. Melissa, Doug, Jaden, Logan and Weston-God and Owen will be with all of you and your family on this difficult day and know that you have a new guardian angel watching over all of you. May your strength and faith help carry you through today and each and every day following. It will be hard and Owen will be in your thoughts often-cry when you need to, be strong when you need to, and never forget there are so many of us praying and thinking of your family-and wearing Owen Warrior Orange today. May God be with all of you! Sending you hugs and prayers from our spirit (& tears) from my family to yours!

    Mishelle-Wild Rose, WI

  47. Allison

    Lifting you up from Nashville, Tennessee. You have given so many other families a priceless gift with his organs. God bless you.

    Allison

  48. Lisa

    Melissa and Family,

    You have many people thinking and praying for your family today. I know many cities and towns are being flooded with many shades of orange so people can honor your sweet little Owen. You have an army of support behind you-you just may not know who we are 🙂

    I know today will be a very hard day for you and your family. Just know that it’s okay to let it out. You have many people willing to let you lean on the,. You are going through every parent’s absolute worst nightmare-so while we can’t all completely understand what you are going through- we can somewhat imagine the pain and heartbreak. You don’t always have to stay strong and keep all the pieces together. Let someone else take that responsibility, even if it’s just for a little while.
    Sending lots of prayers your way …

  49. To all of Owens supporters, family & friends,
    There seems to be a “movement” on facebook to change your profile picture to Orange for Owen…
    Here is the link to the picture
    http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1849486511274.2098005.1064057519

    Soar with the eagles Sweet baby Owen….

  50. Amy

    Melissa & Family
    I also do not know you, but have following your blog.. My heart goes out to you and your family, and I pray that God finds you comfort during the days to come! I did not know Owen either, but I have been having alot of “Orange” signs today.. When I put on my sons Orange sweatshirt, he got sooo excited he said “ORANGE…I LOVE ORANGE ITS MY FAVORITE COLOR” I also was reading another friends blog this morning and the headline was “ORANGE” that is the color they picked for there soon to be sons nursery! I believe that your little warrior is all around us today… I will be thinking about your family today and the days to come!
    Amy

  51. Kate

    I’m looking around my living room at four beautiful children dressed in orange, and thinking of you and your family also getting ready for your day. This morning when I went into my youngest’s bedroom, his blanket was up over his face and he was still. My heart pushed up into my throat and I moved towards the crib, and he flipped the blanket down and smiled big at me, as if to say, “peek a boo”. I picked him up with tears in my eyes and thought of you, and thanked God for one more day with each of them. Owen is a part of our family now too. We have talked about him between us and looked at his pictures. People all over the world know his name, and will be wearing his color to honor him, and to honor you as well. Shakespeare said that, “So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, so long lives this, and this gives life to thee.” He was speaking of using words to keep someone alive in the minds of people in the future. Because of your blogs, and your ability to communicate events that most of us could not express at all, let alone as beautifully as you have been able to, your Owen will live eternally in so many people, as well as living in the lives he saved, and through his family. I hope that helps you get through today and all the tomorrows…

  52. My heart goes out to you. My little girl lived two weeks in the NICU…and we had to make similar decisions. When faced with choosing to end your child’s being even though you know in your heart they are already gone…no words can describe those feelings. I wish my tears for Owen could bring you comfort, I wish being an angel mom I knew what to say to take the pain away…but I can’t. Be gentle on yourself…the coming days will not be easy and at times you may need to be selfish and thats okay. Sending you a HUGE virtual hug. And if you ever want to just talk to a stranger with a similar past e-mail me…today, tomorrow or years from now…I will always be around to listen.

  53. Karen

    Mel,

    You are in my prayers. My kiddos and I are wearing orange in celebration of Owen. This evening at sunset, we will release orange balloons, as this is how my childran say hello to their angel friends in heaven. May peace be with you…

  54. jody

    Melissa,
    Take one day at a time, one second if need be. Lean on others when necessary and stand strong when you can. You don’t need to worry about saying the right thing. Today everyone is there for you and Doug. To hold you and comfort you and to celebrate the life of Owen.
    God bless you,
    Jody

  55. Lorena

    Melissa and Family,
    You are all in my prayers today as I know it will be a very difficult day for you. You have the support and prayers from an army of people some of them you may not know. You have showed so much strength and courage and Owen would be very proud. Take it one day at a time and always remember the joy that Owen brought to your lives. Sending lots of prayers and hugs to your family today and everyday after.

    Lorena

  56. Nicole Tempesta

    Mel,
    I am thinking of you and your family today, Praying the Lord gives you the strength to get through the day… My thoughts and prayers are with you, helping to lift you up… God Bless you, your family and Owen.

  57. My thoughts are with you and your family. Keep the spirit of your little warrior alive. He has touched so many people. God bless you to stay strong on this incredibly difficult day.

  58. I am thinking of you today. May God continue to give you strength and peace and the words to say.

  59. Kelly J

    You are a beautiful and amazing Mommy. God will give you the strength you need to get thru today, and tomorrow, and the next and next.. Praying for you. Thank you for sharing Owen’s story- it is because of him I will hug my babies a little tighter. We are wearing orange, crying alongside with you, and praying Mel. HUGS.

  60. Patty

    Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe. You have to believe that Owen was here for a reason and your connection could never be broken. My heart goes out to you & your family.

  61. Kelly

    Mel and family,
    I also heard of your story through facebook. I have been thinking of you constantly since the first time I read your blog. My whole family today wears orange in remembrance of your Owen. We are honored to be his soldiers. Many tears have been shed here for Owen, you and your family. My heart hurts. I hope that by sharing Owen’s story you may draw strength from others, and let others try to take on some of the burden of grief from you. God bless you and your family. Our prayers are with you on this very difficult journey.
    Kelly

  62. Colleen M. S.

    I am lifting you and your family up in prayer as you are preparing to do the hardest thing a mother ever has to do! Lean on the Lord your God!
    “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
    Psalm 34:18
    There is a children’s praise song called “I’m in the Lord’s Army.” I wish I knew the writer’s name. My children loved it and the words keep going through my head today. I think it is because your warrior Owen has joined the Lord’s Army today! May God comfort you and may you feel His unending love!

  63. Today my boys are wearing orange for Owen.

  64. sarah

    Thinking of you today and will be for the days to come. God Bless You prayers and huge hugs are being sent your way.

  65. Megan Najera

    I am praying for you! May the God of all comfort hold you in this difficult moment! He is faithful, even when we don’t understand!

  66. carrie

    Praying, praying, praying for you.

  67. Bill & Paula Matuszak

    Mel, Doug and Family,

    May God bless you and be with you even when the darkness is overwhelming. We love all of you and will be praying with you during this difficult time. We are all wearing orange for your little worrior. May God hold you in his arms….

    Love and prayers,

    Bill, Paula, Landon and Trenton Matuszak

  68. Kara

    I am thinking of you, your family and friends, and most of all Owen today. I have been crying thinking about you all. I know that there is a special place in Heaven for babies and children who have passed away after a short, but wonderful life on Earth.
    After our daughter died, there were a few songs that really helped me heal. One of them was ” Never Alone” performed by Jim Brickman and Lady Antebellum. Here are they lyrics, I hope that they can bring you tears when you need them, and smiles when you need them as well.

    “May the angels protect you
    Trouble neglect you
    And heaven accept you when its time to go home
    May you always have plenty
    The glass never empty
    Know in your belly
    You’re never alone

    May your tears come from laughing
    You find friends worth having
    With every year passing
    They mean more than gold
    May you win but stay humble
    Smile more than grumble
    And know when you stumble
    You’re never alone

    Chorus: Never alone
    Never alone
    I’ll be in every beat of your heart
    When you face the unknown
    Wherever you fly
    This isn’t goodbye
    My love will follow you stay with you
    Baby you’re never alone
    Find More lyrics at http://www.sweetslyrics.com

    well
    I have to be honest
    As much as I want it
    I’m not gonna promise that the cold winds won’t blow
    So when hard times have found you
    And your fears surround you
    Wrap my love around you
    You’re never alone

    Chorus

    May the angels protect you
    Trouble neglect you
    And heaven accept you when its time to go home
    And when hard times have found you
    And your fears surround you
    Wrap my love around you
    You’re never alone

    Chorus

    My love will follow you stay with you
    Baby you’re never alone”

    Kara

  69. Jennifer Wolf

    You don’t know me. I hardly know you… but I pray for you. Heard Owen’s story, been reading your blogs. You are so brave and so is little Owen. I have children, and I don’t know how you are so strong. You are an inspiration. God bless you and your family. I hope some how, my prayers, prayers from a stranger, still find a way to comfort you.

  70. Kathy

    http://www.nancyguthrie.com/retreats/
    A possible resource to help you through this, when you’re ready. My heart goes out to you, my prayers to God for you.

  71. Mary

    Mel – we don’t know each other at all, but your fear of the moment of grief crippling you…it touches a very deep place in me. Know that God will not let you feel it or carry any more than you are able. He is holding you in the palm of His hand and will never let you fall. I hope you feel our prayers, and our love wrap around you like a warm blanket.

  72. “The tide recedes but leaves behind bright seashells on the sand,
    The sun goes down but gentle warmth still lingers on the land,
    The music stops and yet it echoes on in sweet refrain,
    For every joy that passes something beautiful remains.”

    Although we are not near in distance, our thoughts are with you today. My entire family is dressed in orange today in honor of your sweet Owen. May God Bless him and your family.

  73. Lisa

    Thinking of you.

  74. MaryAnn

    Blessings to you and your family as you approach the coming days and experience new and difficult emotions. My thoughts and prayers remain with you daily.

  75. Robyn :)

    Happy stories will come again, but for now write what you need to to help yourself. That probably doesn’t make sense, but I don’t know how to word it right. You and your family are in my prayers.

  76. Jen

    We’re here in California thinking of you too; especially today!

  77. Christine

    Mel,
    I don’t know you personally, but I am compelled to tell you how amazing you & your family truly are. You have affected so many people in so many different ways and you will never know. I started reading your blog about a week ago when a friend shared it on facebook. You are the strongest woman I have ever heard of. You need to know that Owen will always be with you & your family – he will be there as your own personal angel, keeping watch over you until it’s your time to be with him once again.
    Please know that he is in good company. He is sharing Heaven with three of my babies who were never able to share life with us. I pray for your strength, faith, & healing as you deal with this unbearable trajedy. You will move on but you will never forget.
    Sending you my love & my prayers,
    Christine in Texas

  78. Sky huertas

    Like many others here, I too have found your blog on facebook. I have never met you or your family , yet I feel as if I’ve known you for ever. I keep thinking of you and your family, and will continue to pray for you and your beautiful family. Your blogs are a reminder not to take anything in our lives for granted. Your little Owen is with God now, and he is watching over you.

  79. From one mom of multiples to another, I am sending you hugs and strength during this horrible time. Every time I dress my babies in orange I will think of precious Owen.

  80. Pingback: Top Posts — WordPress.com

  81. Kelly

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family today and always. Thinking of your little warrier Owen and knowing he is watching over you all. God Speed little man!

  82. Bonnie

    Thought about Owen every time I saw my 2 boys in orange. I will continue to pray for your whole family. I was unable to make it today to honor Owen but he never left my thoughts. I hope you can feel all the love, prayers and support being sent your way. You and Owen have changed so many lives, there are a buch of kids getting longer hugs, tighter squeezes and more kisses because you have been strong enough to remind us what is important. My heart is breaking for you, I am so sorry for your loss.

  83. DF

    Bissing family,
    I dont know you, but have been following your story since last week when a friend posted a link on facebook. I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. I have been thinking about your family today. You are an amazing example of strength and faith. I have been and will continue to pray for your family and for your little angel Owen.

  84. Jill Martens

    All day I have thought about your family and your angel Owen, who now has his wings. Thank you for sharing his story with us, reminding all of us how precious life is, and how the petty stuff in life is just a moment in time. Thank you for showing us life is a gift, and we all take it for granted way too often. Thank you for showing us what true strength and love really is made of.

  85. Leisha

    Today, I wore orange along with all of my family members in honor of sweet Owen.

    Everywhere I looked today I saw orange. I couldn’t help, but think of your family and your little warrior. I wish I could have been there today to stand in a room filled with people that love Owen. Instead I prayed from a distance as did hundreds of others who care about Owen.

    Melissa, thank you for sharing your familie’s story. I have learned so much from your strength, love, and your Owen. I will continue to follow your families journey and hope someday to cross paths with Owen in heaven.

  86. Lora

    Although we don’t know each other personally, I wanted to let you know that your courage, faith, and strength are amazing. You and your family have been in my thoughts and prayers since one of my friends shared a link to your blog on FB last week. I pray that God continues to hold you all close. Thank you for sharing your story. Every time my son wears orange, I’ll will think of Owen.

  87. Amanda Tenwinkel

    Owen’s funeral was a beautiful and moving tribute to his life. You and Doug honored his memory well and I know you will continue to do so as time passes. We will keep you in our prayers.

  88. Johanna

    Melissa,

    God will carry through this time. It is the only way to get through something like this. I remember so many people asking me “how are you able to deal with all this?” (burying one of my triplets while the other two hang on for dear life in the NICU). To be honest, sometimes I have no idea how I survived it all, but I know that God carried me and has made me stronger through it all, it’s only been a year so it is still so fresh in my memory, it probably always will be. I know that God has a purpose for all of this, as a labor nurse I have been able to connect with so many different patients already and offer encouragement to those that think there is no hope left in this world. God will carry you and your family. I’m sure you have heard the Laura Story “Blessings” song, but it makes me cry every time, it’s so true. I admire all your posts and you sharing all your thoughts and feelings. Know that you are touching so many people’s lives ALREADY and you and Owen are not done yet! I pray for peace and strength as you grieve.

  89. I keep coming back because I can’t stop thinking of your words and your sweet boy. There is nothing I can say to make it better. But I want you to know that I’m glad I know of Owen and his story. I will say a prayer for you tonight for peace. Let God wrap his arms around you while you sleep.

  90. You dont know me personally, but ive been following your blog, your joys and your pains… i have no words to express to you. My heart breaks for you, i send you strength, courage, love and support all the way from ontario canada. I will be wearing orange tomorrow to honour Owen.
    May God bless you and hold you up tomorrow when you no longer have the strength.

    A Little boy
    A special friend
    A little fighter
    Right to the end.
    Gone from our lives
    But not from our hearts
    We’ll keep you there always
    Like we have from the start

  91. Kate

    Mel,
    I got lost coming to Owen’s funeral. That’s not news, I get lost a lot. I had to find a place to turn around, and head back to the exit I missed. On a huge white banner next to the highway that I would not have seen had I not gotten lost, black letters wrote, “God never puts anything tougher in front of you than HE is behind you”. I wanted to share that with you when I met you today, but instead I became toungue-tied and nervous. I wanted to say how beautiful Owen looked, and how sorry I am for your loss. I wish you and your family light and love, and peace.

  92. Dear Bissing Family,
    I do not know you, and am yet moved to comment on your story. My heart aches for your loss–the loss of life, of normalcy, of fairness–all these were taken from you and your family. Nothing is more cruel or unfair than the loss of a child. In the coming days, weeks, and months, I pray you find comfort when you can, and time to embrace your sadness when you can’t. Please contact me if I can ever be of any support or assistance.

  93. I feel as though your words are written directly for me to read.

    I am a Mother to a 6 month old girl who is awaiting a heart transplant in MN.

    While God gives us the gift of children, your gift of organ donation is truly the greatest gift one human person could give another….Owen will live on in the lives he has helped, the families he has given hope to, the children who will be able to live a perfecly normal life because of Owen. May God Bless your family as you have choosen to do for others.

    Thank you so much for this wonderful gift. When it is Regan’s turn for her gift, I will think of your warrior and forever be greatful for families like you, and especially Owen.

  94. Jennifer Gonzalez

    Mel,
    Thinking and praying for Owen, for you and for your family.
    My girls could not wear orange today because of school uniform-so we made orange bracelets for us to wear-not just today but everyday to celebrate your little warriors remarkable life and his beautiful mother’s amazing grace and courage. God Bless Bissing Family.
    Love and Light,
    Jennifer

  95. LAMusing

    Love is always and forever. God Bless you and hold you gently

  96. Clare

    Thinking of you and your family at this terrible time.

  97. Hi Melissa,

    You don’t know me but I found your blog linked through other mom-blogs online. I just wanted to say I am so, so sorry about little Owen, and amazed (truly) at the amount of strength and grace you have shown getting through this. You made Owen’s life truly meaningful up until the very end, and I think that is the biggest gift a mother can give her son. May you find peace in this difficult time.

  98. Becky Mitchell

    Don’t know if you will ever read this, Mel, but a friend sent me the link yesterday and I thought of you.

    http://www.rabbitroom.com/2011/05/call-me-jacob/

    Hope you find it helpful.

    • Mishelle

      I hope Mel reads this; I read it and it really touched how I felt during difficult times through my life. Perhaps it can bring her peace as well.

  99. Mel,

    I stopped over to check out the new Top Mommy blogger and was so very sad to read about the death of your son. Your words, Owen’s beautiful face, the loss make me forget to breathe.

    No one on my blog knows that I once held a very still son in my arms and bid him goodbye too.

    I’m sorry…and sadly there are no other words.

    I know you don’t know me..but I’m praying for you and sending virtual blog mama hugs.

  100. Kim Graves

    I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beautiful Owen..I was on a friends page Erin Lipman and saw her little triplet girls dressed in Orange for Owen and had to inquire to what this cause was…I am in tears at my desk as I read through your blog…and see your photos of your babies…my heart breaks for you and your family…bless all of you and especially your little angel baby … ❤

  101. Jenn

    Many prayers coming your way. I coach softball with a sorority sister of yours. She told me your story and posted your website. I am a better person having been touched by reading your words. Know that there are many people who are praying for you and let their strength carry you through this difficult time. I always wear an orange bracelet in memory of a colleague who died of leukemia. Now I wear two orange bracelets. Owen’s memory will live on in his brothers and in your heart, seek comfort in knowing there is another angel watching out for you and waiting for the day you will meet again in heaven. God bless you and your family.

  102. Jaclyn

    Mel,

    I know this time is hard right now, but consider the numbness a blessing for now. Take advantage of it for now because the true emotions will follow. I do not know if we share the same faith, but I know we are both believers in GOD. I found this while thinking of you and doing some study. Please take a moment to read this. I think it may help. ❤ Sending love and prayers today and always

    http://lds.org/manual/teachings-of-presidents-of-the-church-josephf-smith/chapter-15-the-salvation-of-little-children?lang=eng&query=loss+child

    Jaclyn

  103. Great info. Lucky me I ran across your site by chance (stumbleupon).

    I’ve bookmarked it for later!

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