Calling warriors!

This morning we pack up and head back to childrens hospital. This time for all the boys except Owen. Logan, Weston and Jaden have their EKGs this morning. I’m honestly not sure what to pray for. Do I want an answer so we can know and find possible treatment? But live in fear of if its going to strike again? Or do I pray that they are healthy, like any mother would? so caught in the mix of knowledge over safety. But is knowing the truth safe? Life is so messy.

So as I get my family ready to head out of the door, I whisper my prayers over each baby. Let God’s will be done. Please give me the strength to face whatever we find out today. Whether it be a diagnosis or a bill of clean health.

I hold parents who were never given any kind of cause so close to my heart. I feel so selfish for being scared for the truth. There are moms out there who long for even somewhat of an idea. I’ve already been blessed with that and here I write about whether or not I want the diagnosis. Sickening.

Fellow mourning moms, this one is for you. I call on your strength and remember your story this morning. I don’t feel worthy to be in this place. Let another mom find the answer, I don’t know if I want it. I’m self absorbed and selfish.

It’s time to get the boys dressed. Then we are off to fight another battle with little warrior Owen.

Love, Mel

Ps I’m totally decked out in my orange today! Even put in an orange hair highlight clip!

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9 Comments

Filed under Owen's Gone, Posted by Melissa

9 responses to “Calling warriors!

  1. Cindy Nolan

    I’m so glad I read this before I had my prayer time this morning (also read Aug 2nd). You are in my prayers today. I pray God will envelop you in His perfect love and peace and that you will feel His presence. I also pray He will speak to you today in a way that is clear and unquestionable so you will know what to do about Owens memorial.

  2. Jeanette

    Hey Mel,
    I will be praying that everything comes out just fine, and that your boys are all very healthy. I’m sure Owen is looking out after them. God bless you and your family. ‘ll be echecking back later to make sure everything is ok. I know for sure you all will be on mind all day. Your family always is but now with this EKG even more. I want all the boys to be healthy,

  3. Mel,
    I will pray for you and you boys during the course of this day. I want you to have the answers you need. I also want your boys to be healthy.

  4. Karissa

    Mel, I pray that everything turns out ok and that you will find peace in knowing the results (whether good or bad). Knowledge is power. You and the boys will be in my thoughts and prayers today. Please keep us posted. Funny thiung, this morning as I was looking in my closet trying to decide what to wear toda, it suddenly popped in my head to wear orange. So I am wearing orange for Owen today. He is around today as he is everyday. Don’t worry, he will watch over his brothers.

  5. Amber

    This must be very scary. Owen is there with his brothers. I’m praying that the boys are healthy.

  6. Best of luck to you today. I hope that you find out whatever information that you are meant to. Deep breaths.

  7. Saying prayers for you!! Please keep us posted on what you find ❤

  8. Shell

    Sending prayers your way today…that you receive only good news!

  9. Sherri

    I am sending my thoughts your way as I sit here and cry for your loss.

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