I had a revelation moment today during grief counseling. I was trying (and failing) to describe the way I was feeling. Happy to have a name. Rejoicing. But sadness and anger at the same time. Then it hit me. I’m focusing on the wrong thing. Something that hasn’t even happened yet. So she might need a new heart … but golly I have the chance to know more about her. I’m spending all this energy on something that hasn’t happened yet.
Who am I to predict the outcome? To hope for something that I think is “right?” This isn’t my journey to plan. This isn’t my story to tell. Blind faith. Trust in the Lord with all my heart and soul.
I’m kicking myself in my own butt and telling myself to knock it off. This is amazing wonderful news. The Lord still has a lot of work to do. A lot of healing is on it’s way. I rejoice in the gift I have been given. I am thankful for what I have. I am going to turn over my fear and worry of what may happen to a greater power. I am releasing my fear to the Lord.
There is so much to be thankful for. The story is just beginning … a story that isn’t mine to tell.