I Am Broken

I’ve been reading the book of Mark this past week for my church small group study.  The devotional method we are supposed to be using is called the “Picture It” method.  Basically you picture what it would have been like to be each character in the story.  So for the story of Jesus healing the paralyzed man who was lowered into the room by his friends – imagine what it would have been like for the man on the mat.  Picture what it would have been like to be the friends who lowered him down.  Or to be in the crowd watching the whole thing unfold.

Every time I try to think about who I relate to the most in these stories – I can’t help feeling like the one who needs to be healed.  On my knees begging for Jesus to give me a miracle – to make me whole again.  I’m not ashamed to say that I’m broken – to say that I don’t know where to turn some days.  The confusion is paralyzing and the strength isn’t there when I need it.

At church on Sunday, we read this verse:

He said to me, “My grace is enough for you, because power is made perfect in weakness.” So I’ll gladly spend my time bragging about my weaknesses so that Christ’s power can rest on me.  2 Corinthians 12:9

It’s ok to be weak because it’s those cracks that God’s power is able to work.  I need to be broken so that God can use me to do His will.  It’s just like when Owen was in the hospital.  My strength and blog posts didn’t come from me – God used my brokenness to show His power.  How else would 150,000 people come together, from all over the world, to read the same story on the same day?  That’s power.  100’s of people come to a church all dressed in orange – I saw a sea of power when I looked out over the filled seats and people standing in the back.  The cracks filled with God’s love and strength.

While I am brutally reminded of just how broken I am – I am also reminded that it is through the same weakness that God can make me perfect again.  Be honest and truthful about your weaknesses.  Speak of them with your friends.  Pray about them.  Bring them to the feet of the One who has power.  Do not be ashamed – God loves you just the way you are.

Love, Mel

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5 Comments

Filed under Faith

5 responses to “I Am Broken

  1. Hey Mel! I love that bible verse- for when we are weak, He is truly strong. I too have admitted this week that at the age of 52 I am broken and in need of healing and have started -finally- to take it all to Him for healing and direction. Funny how we women think we can fix it all and have to be the “all in all” to everyone. I too am thankful to “come as I am” – broken and in need of repair and ready for Him to Heal me. He will heal you too- you are on the right path girl! Take it day by day, hour by hour. Pray often and lean on Him. He loves you and so do I!!
    Nancy from Minneapolis

  2. Michelle Oswald

    Mel,
    Thank you for this post tonight! I am feeling the same way and it was the most perfect timing. I guess that’s the way God works in us. I will be taking all my brokenness to him tonight and will pray for you. It’s certainly not a sign of weakness to be broken, but extremely difficult to admit.

    Michelle Oswald

  3. randi

    I love this mel! Right now i’m going thru a hard time myself with WAY different things going on but feel so alone and broken. This lifted my spirit. Even though i don’t have thousands hundreds or even alot of people here to fill the cracks god is. That’s enough for me.

  4. Colleen B

    Hi Mel,

    Thank you for this post. “So I’ll gladly spend my time bragging about my weaknesses so that Christ’s power can rest on me.” Let’s just say I have done more bragging about my weakness in the last few weeks than ever before. I have buried both of my parents in 3.5 years and I am just a mess. Doing that would be one thing, but somehow in the midst of that I still have to be a wife and mother. That’s the part that isn’t going so well. This weekend, after I spent a night in a dark and yucky place, I bared my soul on FB for everyone to see how broken I was. People’s reactions were not what I expected…better I guess. And honestly, I kept thinking of you. I kept thinking how you used this blog to bare your soul, hopefully to heal, and to encourage so many other people. That gave me the strength to post what I did. And some interesting things have happened because of it. Thank you for being courageous enough to talk about this stuff that nobody wants to talk about. With all the “keeping up with the Jones’s” in this world, I think it is important for us suburban moms to put down the masks and just be real…no matter how broken we are. I guess that can be our own personal mission field. And I guess to know something that glorifies God will come out of my loss makes it a little bit more bearable. Hugs to you Mel!

  5. One of your best my friend. (:

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