Happy Mother’s Day to all my mama readers! Moms – Grandmas – Step Moms – Birth Moms – Godmothers – the list goes on forever …. And a special mother’s day to all those mom’s of angels. Some years it hits us harder than others.
For me, it was a good year – of course I missed Owen – but the celebration of the day out weighed the sadness this time. I recognize that it might not be true every year – or true for all the upcoming anniversaries and holidays that remind me so much of when I had three babies on earth. The spring reminds me of the HUGE triplet stroller that I used to load up and take all the kids on a walk around the block just to get out of the four walls of my house. The open sidewalk was the only place I didn’t feel totally over sized. The spring reminds me of meeting a friend at the park with her two adorable boys – we lost touch until a year after Owen’s death and are now great friends. It reminds me of when my street was under construction and I used to rotate the triplets in the bumbo in front of the front door to the bay window to the coffee table – they would sit and watch the trucks for hours!
When I think of Mother’s Day I always think of this picture:
and this one ….
It’s the only photo(s) I have with all four of my children.
I go back and forth between feeling a huge whole in the middle of our family and not being able to imagine how I would keep up with a third one. Please don’t ever take what I just said as though I wouldn’t want a third one or that I would be able to handle it. I just can’t mentally picture what it would be like to have another two-year old into the mix of our daily lives. Weston and Logan keep me on my toes!!
This year, the boys and I went to church in the morning and then to my mom’s for the afternoon. We walked to the park and played for a while. Then three little girls came to play too …. triplet girls. What are the odds? A message or a sign from God? A coincidence? I’m not sure what the message was or if it was meant for me – but it did catch my breath to watch Logan and Weston play along side the three girls. It was pain strikingly clear that one of my children was missing at the park. There should have been three girls and four boys (including Jaden).
I got my annual picture with the boys again this year. The boys were already in their pj’s for the car ride home. What little monkeys! But they are, after all, the very reason why I’m a mom today. I told Jaden this morning that I had him to thank for being a mom – he was the one that gave me my supermom powers!
Happy Mother’s Day to everyone!!