The boys and I decorated the Christmas tree. I anxiously waited for them to come home from a weekend up north with Doug. They all came through the door wearing their snow boots and winter coats. They all dropped their winter gear in the middle of the kitchen to see the Christmas tree I had put up in the living room. Our living room is much smaller than the one we shared last year, so I got a smaller tree. Knowing that this realistic decision on space conservation would be more comfortable in the long run, I secretly hoped it wouldn’t diminish the magic of a decorated Christmas tree. The kids didn’t even seem to notice how skinny it was. The triplets were pointing “Christmas Tree! Star!” I was pleased that they were finding the magic.
We eat dinner, then decorated the tree. Jaden was in just his underwear – he stripped down while watching a cartoon. I was secretly agitated because his lack of clothes were going to dampen my perfectly planned photo opportunities of the warm light of the christmas lights, and my beautiful boys all working together to hang the green, red and while ornaments. When he started to whine, I gave in and just let him be. I didn’t want the clothes factor to turn my Christmas tree dream into a mother/son battle of the wills.
So there we were, decorating the tree. Logan dragged over a chair to the right side of the tree. Then, Weston dragged the other chair to the left side of the tree. They always have to be the same. They carefully and independently hung every ornament on the tree. Some branches (especially the lower ones) had six or seven ornaments on them. While other branches were left bare. I secretly made note of the ornaments that I would relocate after the boys were asleep. When all the ornaments were hung, the boys were very pleased with themselves. The little ones were saying “pretty Christmas tree mama.” Jaden was over the hype much quicker and already asking to be back on the iPad. My Christmas fantasy was quick lived, but precious none-the-less.
When Jaden got into the bath, I decided to show the little ones how extra special the tree looked when you turned out all the lights. I then wanted to show them the Christmas merry go round horses that my mom had when I was a kit. It plays music from the main wagon. The boys sat on the couch in awe. My two, over hyper, always running or jumping, never wearing clothes three year olds were sitting on the couch, in their jammies – in awe. They were calm, peaceful and cuddly. I was in heaven. When Jaden got out of the bath, he joined us. Even more magical. All three boys cuddled on my lap – each one finding a way to touch me in some way. Mommy magic.
I asked the boys what they’d like for Christmas. Weston asked for a “little doggy.” Oh boy … not going to happen. Jaden asked for a Wii-U … again not going to happen. And Logan’s eyes lit up … “a little doggy too.” Well I guess none of my children will be getting what they want for Christmas, but the tree was pretty.
After getting all the boys to sleep – I sat on the couch and looked at the tree. And I realized that the tree was perfect just the way it was. That the beauty isn’t about doing it perfectly … it’s about doing it all on our own. And that’s exactly where I am today. I’m not perfect .. .but I am doing it on my own and that is perfectly imperfect.