I’ve got some exciting news to share with you! I was recently accepted as a new contributor for the MKE Moms Blog. Can I get a whoop whoop?!?! My “Meet Mel” post went live a week or so ago and I’m super excited to let my creativity run wild and share my love for the Milwaukee area with other moms.
I’m positively excited about this opportunity. I’m not so positive how much of Mel I want to share. Do I allow myself to get all messy all over the computer screens of Milwaukee? Do I let them know I can drop an F bomb when something goes wrong? That sometimes I have NO clue what to do so I just ignore issues hoping they will resolve themselves until the moment I have to accept that it’s not going to get better and in fact, I let it get a whole lot worse and out of control.
I’m in probably the most stable season in life that I have been in the last 12 years. My nights are pretty uneventful. I’m not longer just struggling to survive, but I’m starting to focus on making life better for my children. I own a home that I love to be in. My nights are filled washing dishes (sometimes), crime tv and little boys crawling in bed to snuggle.
I’ve got this fresh slate on this new blog. These readers don’t know me as Owen’s mom. They don’t know about my abusive ex husband or the struggles I had leaving him. This is a chance to live out the life that I’ve wanted. That I’ve fought HARD for! This is a chance to share the good parts of me and not the parts that, while inspiring and brutally honest, are not high points in life. All these other moms are beautiful working women. SUPER OOBER nice and totally real … but I feel like I’m still a mess compared to them.
I have a photo shoot (don’t I sound legit?) tomorrow for a professional headshot to be used on the website. There were conversations about getting hair cuts and highlights. Postings of adorable heels and ankle boots. I haven’t gotten my hair cut in six months … and it didn’t occur to me that I might need one until all these other beautiful ladies started talking about it. Then all of a sudden I needed a cut and color before Thursday. I stood in my kitchen, making mac’n cheese, yelling at Weston to put some underwear on, when I thought to myself … Stop. Stop trying to be like them Mel. Just be you. You’ve worked so damn hard to be the women you are today and you should be proud of that. You are a no fuss, only wear mascara kind of gal and that’s good enough. Who are you trying to impress? Just be you … and they’ll love you for it!
I’m scared to show them my messy side. I’m writing for a Mom blog … shouldn’t I know a thing or two about motherhood? The only thing I know is how to survive when things fall totally and utterly apart. I’m not good at keeping a clean house. I don’t know the first thing about teaching my kids how to tie their shoes … I get just a frustrated as they do. I know how to kiss away the tears, how to talk to them about their brother in heaven and how to snuggle with them on the couch while ignoring the laundry in the corner that should be folded. And some days the only thing I know how to do is keep them occupied enough so I can get lost in my facebook feed without the house totally burning down.
I know I just need to be the real Mel. I’m the best me when I’ve prayed hard before writing. That’s what I’ll do! Sounds so silly, but seriously, as I share my uncertainty with you … it might just be that easy. DUH Mel, just pray about it. Before each writing assignment, pray. Allow God the time and space to whisper what He wants me to share. Maybe I’ll be called for some great DIY posts … or maybe I’ll be the one who gets “real” … a lot. What I need to focus on is that I’m enough. I have a story and I shouldn’t try to be someone I’m not.
It’s time to celebrate a good season! It’s time to be thankful for the stability in my life and it’s time to protect that.