Since I’ve posted my When you want to rip your mom’s face off! post, I’ve had this pit in my stomach. When I re-read my post, I was worried that my point was missed. So I wanted to clear a few things up.
My mom isn’t the nagging mom type. I FELT like she was. In hind sight, she was hitting on decisions I was ashamed of. So my feelings of her not being a safe person, had more to do with me being frustrated she wouldn’t just let me just do whatever I wanted. She loved me enough to tell me the truth even though it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. And you know what? I’m so thankful she did!
You know God is trying to get your attention when all of a sudden everything you read or hear starts to relate to the same topic. This verse first showed up in my email:
“Those who disregard discipline despise themselves, but the one who heeds correction gains understanding.” Proverbs 15:32 (NIV)
This verse is at the root of my previous post. I interpreted my mom’s guidance or discipline as judgement … she was being my mom … and a good one. She was offering instruction and correction … I disregarded her discipline … therefore despised myself. I lacked understanding and therefore, made bad decisions for myself.
The corrections my “truth tellers” offer me still hurt … a lot. I still want to huff and tell them I know better. Their words still make the hair on the back of my neck stand up. What I have learned is how to pause and let it sink in. I’ve learned how to remind myself that they love me … they are looking out for me. It’s up to me to let it soak in. It’s up to me to take their comments and transform them from judgement into guidance.
Please hear me that my “truth tellers” aren’t being nagging, “I told you so” family members. They are love warriors who risk being despised in order to save me from my own mistakes. They sacrifice being liked in order to show me wrong choices.
Do you have someone in your life that you feel judged by? Ask yourself why … In my learning, it usually has more to do with my own insecurities than it does with the other person.
Find your “truth teller” and commit to at least thinking about the feedback they give you. Take a deep breath and just listen. Give it a day or two. If you don’t have any “ah ha” moments about what they said, than move on. But I would guess that you’ll find something to have some merit. You won’t want to admit it … but it’ll be there.