Category Archives: Mommyhood Meditations

These are the whispers of my heart … my fears, hopes and dreams.

When want to rip your mother’s face off!

When You Want to rip Your moms face off

Anyone else have a mom whose favorite phrase is “I told you so?” GAH I want to rip her face off every time she says it. It makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Really Mom? Why do you have to be so judgmental? I often feel like my mom is my worst critic; always judging my choices and saying that she could do better than I … she always “knows better.” I began to feel like she wasn’t a safe person to share things with … all she did was judge and point out what I was doing wrong.

This past year has been rough for Jaden … like really rough. He’s been struggling with life stuff that kids shouldn’t have to worry about. We’ve been going to therapy for two years now trying to work on this and we’ve reached this place where he thinks I don’t love him. When these feelings started coming out I was irritated. Seriously kid? I give you everything! I fought like hell to bring you into this world, you have been the center of everything for me and you have the guts to say I don’t love you? Really?

I decided to bring my mom to one of our therapy appointments. My therapist was a little surprised when we showed up together, and then I laid it all out for her. Look, I can talk to you about how I see the situation until I’m blue in the face, but it’s not helping. We aren’t making progress. Jaden and I just keep fighting more and more and I’ll do whatever it takes to make it better.

So we sat and we talked. Mom had a few good jabs and the therapist picked up on it right away. “Mel, you didn’t really like what Mom just said.” Ummm no I didn’t really but I know she loves me so I need to just sit and wrestle with it until I can sort it all out. After each wrestling match, I found a piece that I could say, “Yeah, ok, this part is probably true, I just don’t want to have to admit it.”

It took my divorce to give me a wakeup call … when the weight of my “I knew better” outweighed my mom’s “I told you so.” For the first time, I saw how many people care about me … like really care about me. When they were all “judging” my decisions, they were really telling me what I already knew to be true, I just didn’t want to admit it. My family loves me so much, they are willing to step in and tell me the truth even when it’s not what I want to hear. They are looking out for my best interest, not just looking to make me happy. I call these people in my life, my “truth tellers.”

Whenever my “truth tellers” share something that bothers me, I need to sit and wrestle with it. I allow myself to marinade in the conversation. Let it soak in. What you said hurt but I know you wouldn’t say this to just be spiteful. Where is the truth in what you said?

I started to realize that every time I wanted to rip my mom’s face off it wasn’t because she was judging me, it was because she was calling me out on something I was trying to hide.

So when you want to rip your mother’s face off, it probably has more to do with you and not her…

Love, Mel

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Filed under Advice, Mommyhood Meditations, Posted by Melissa

Why I Have All Boys

I learned just why God gave me all boys on my first Cub Scout overnight.

A few weekends ago, Jaden and I drove up to Camp Rokilio for a two night stay with his Cub Scout pack. This wasn’t tent camping. We were staying in themed dorms. We were in the castle. I wasn’t totally sure what to expect. I missed last year’s overnight because I was recovering from my broken foot. We arrived at camp when it was already dark out and took turns unloading all of our cars.

It certainly wasn’t a 4 star hotel … or a Motel 8 for that matter, but it would do. There were only three moms so we got our own wing and posted a “Mom Only” sign on our bathroom. I can’t remember the last time I slept in a sleeping bag!

We made popcorn and hot cocoa for the boys, let them watch a movie and then put them to bed. They were sleeping by 11 ish .. late, but not too terribly bad.

Then the dads busted out the cribbage board. I convinced Nicole to let the boys teach us how to play. I laughed and laughed and laughed. I think part of the fun was skunking them a few times 🙂

Saturday the boys played outside all day long. I led a few crafts inside when they came inside to warm up a bit. The camp fire was burning all day long. Later in the afternoon/evening we took a walk down to the bog. I hung out in the back of the line laughing at all the funny things the boys were saying.

I remember looking around thinking, “This is what life is about. These are the moments that make it all worth it.” I just loved watching Jaden run by with a stick in his hand. Watching as his face got dirtier and dirtier as the day wore on.

I was oddly aware that I was a single, divorced woman hanging out with a bunch of dudes. Most of whom I haven’t met their wives. It was odd, but the guys were really nice and made fun of me all the same. I admit, making fun of me isn’t that hard to do. haha!

We ended the night with a bonfire and s’mores. I was right next to the boys, teaching them how to make the perfectly golden brown marshmallow. It’s all about the coals and not the flame. I loved watching the 1st grade Tigers trying to keep up with the older boys and the dads showing their boys fire safety.

I whopped the boys in cribbage again that night and someone started a tally on the wall for how many times I snorted when laughing. I have to admit, I think I enjoyed myself so much because of the good company. The boys were all so well behaved and the dads were very welcoming to me.

On my drive home, exhausted and dreading having to unpack the van, I couldn’t help but feel like this weekend was the reason why I had boys. God knew how much fun I would have with them. That my heart would melt watching them play in the dirt. He knew that I don’t mind getting dirty when having fun and that sleeping on a squeaky bunkbed wasn’t all that bad. He knew that I’d love learning pocketknife safety with them and that I think archery is cool.

Most importantly, I remembered why all the hard mommyhood stuff is worth it. It’s about vacations and sleepovers. It’s about the fun random times and not all about the work and chores. I came home that weekend physically exhausted and spiritually rejuvenated.

I go real tent camping in two weeks … we’ll see if I feel the same way after a weekend without flushing toilets.

Love, Mel

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Filed under Jaden Story, Mommyhood Meditations, Posted by Melissa

The Newest Member of Our Family

It’s been a real rough school year for Jaden. He’s been getting into all kinds of trouble, which is totally not like him. I started offering incentives for doing well in school. He’s got a behavior chart and can earn up to three points in the morning and three points in the evening, for a total of six.

Our original goal was five 6’s in a row but that proved to be too much pressure. If he didn’t get a six on Wednesday, the rest of the week was shot. He didn’t have anything to work towards for the rest of the week. We decided that he needed to get six 6’s without going to the principal’s office, then we could get a pet. That meant he could get as many 4’s & 5’s as he needed to … but he needed six 6’s.

This pet thing is a big deal … I’m not an animal person. I believe animals belong outside, not in my home. Maybe that makes me cold hearted. Animals just sort of freak me out.

Then began the conversations about what kind of pet to get. My rule was that it couldn’t be something that would get lonely. We aren’t home enough during the day to have something that needed company, i.e. no cat or dog. Like any rational mom, I suggested a fish. Easily replaceable when it croaks, cheap and not hard to care for.Jaden suggested a turtle. Not a horrible idea. A turtle makes a cool “boy” pet.  I figured that would be ok … I could use plastic gloves if I ever needed to touch it.

Then, my brother brought home his guinea pig, Ruby, for Easter. Now she was cute … from a distance. I didn’t mind watching others hold her, or snapping a cute pic of her in an Easter basket. Jaden on the other hand, was totally in love. He held her for 12 hours straight … just chillin’ with Ruby on his lap; loving the little piggy snot out of her. Crap.

Surprise, surprise Jaden now wanted a guinea pig as his reward pet. I started googling and consulting with other mom friends. Adopting a guinea pig seemed like it might be a plausible idea. At least it wasn’t totally ruled out.

Then the week came when he got four 6’s. Dang we were close. Then Monday he came home with another 6. Tuesday morning when I dropped him off, I just knew he was going to have a great day. In fact, I submitted an application to the Humane Society that morning when I got into work. The text came right after he got off the school bus. “I’m getting a guinea pig.” Funny thing I was so dang proud of him, I hardly thought about the fact that I was about to let a rodent live in my home.

When I got home from work, we hopped in the car and headed straight to Petco. I wasn’t ready to buy one just yet, but we were going to LOOK and get the supplies so we’d be ready to adopt. This is what I was shopping with:

The young man helping us was very sweet answering all my dumb questions. Then he mentioned that there was one more guinea pig in the back and she was the littlest guinea pig he’s ever seen. Yes, of course we wanted to see her.

Out he came, with this little fur ball in his hands. It was love at first sight. Jaden held her and I knew there was no leaving her at the store.

Welcome to the family Buttercup Cookie Dough 🙂

This is what life is all about. These moments are what fill our love tanks so we can do the day to day crap. I’ve been stuck in a no vacation-homework every night – pay the bills – do the laundry – wash the dishes kind of rut.

The glitter in my boy’s eyes and how they just love her up is totally worth it all. I’ll deny it until the cows come home, but I think I just might love her too.

Love, Mel

 

 

 

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Filed under Mommyhood Meditations, Posted by Melissa

No One is a Pinterest Mom

2I love my kids more than anything. When my day at work gets tough, I look forward to snuggling with my little men. I want to enjoy my kids. I want to spend Friday nights building forts, watching movies and eating popcorn. I want to spoil them and make memories. I want to really enjoy life with my children. What I didn’t anticipate is how hard discipline would be. I absolutely hate having to be the bad guy.

When it comes to discipline I’m dumbfounded. I’ve read books. I’ve followed blogs and watched videos. I know how important it is … I just find it so hard! I lose my temper instead of staying calm. I don’t know what to say when the timeout is done. I also find that I tolerate a lot from my kids. My sister looked at me during dinner and said something about Jaden’s comment being so sassy. I didn’t even notice.

For my children’s sake I’ve got to figure out how to be good disciplinarian … and fast! I’m great at the loving them up, supporting them, being there for them and having fun with them. I want my teaching to have meaning … purpose.

During a phone conversation with my mama, I mentioned to her that I knew discipline was my shortcoming of being a mom. I know I can do it, it’s just harder for me – it takes a lot of effort. Knowing what to say when you child is pushing the boundaries comes naturally to them. That’s why I value her and my sister’s opinions so much. If it’s not something I’ve read about in a Love and Logic book, I’m not totally sure what to do. I’m also pretty quick to forgive so I tend to let my kids off the hook pretty easily. My mom said she was glad to hear me acknowledge that. No mom is good at everything and if we aren’t honest about our areas of weakness we won’t ever improve.

It takes a lot of self-awareness to know where my strengths and weaknesses are. Moms tend to think we are horrible at it all … but that’s just not true. Each of us have special gifts. We are all uniquely paired with our children. There is a reason my kids are my kids and not yours.

When we are transparent, we can hep each other. My weakness is someone else’s strength and visa versa. I know I’ve helped some of my friends lighten up. When the entire box of cereal spills on the floor we take a moment to laugh about it, play a little and then clean it up. Some of my mom friends would just get angry at the wasted money and food on the floor. I get it … I feel that too. My response doesn’t make me a better mom, it’s just a product of my strength in enjoying and savoring moments. Now this same mom, when her child acts disrespectfully, she knows just how to respond. My kids are the ones who run wild and I struggle to pull them back in line.

See? We need each other. We can learn from each other.

Rather than trying to pretend we were all perfect Pinterest moms, what if we were honest about what our homes and lives looked like? What if we let each other in and allowed our fellow mom’s strength become our strength? Rather than sit envious and feel ashamed because my children act out in public, what if I asked her how she does it. Have any tips for me? No one is a Pinterest Mom … let’s stop acting like we are.

Let’s spend more time building each other up, rather than comparing ourselves to each other. It’s the only thing I am 100% sure of, we need each other.

Love, Mel

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Filed under Mommyhood Meditations, Posted by Melissa

The Game of Life

One weekend, not too long ago, Jaden wanted to play a board game. “Sure thing kid, pick out any one you want!” I was secretly impressed that my 9 year-old-video-game-addict wanted to play a game with his “uncool” mom. He came up the stairs with the Game of Life under his arm.

  
This wasn’t the same game of Life I played as a kid. There were airplanes and boats and the game board rotated every time you spun the number 1. We each picked out our color car and put our respective pink and blue peg in the diver’s seat. We both chose to go to college (secret happy fist pump from mom). Then Jaden landed on the “get married” space. I went to grab a pink peg and stopped myself. Instead I asked Jaden, “Are you going to marry a boy or a girl?”

Here’s the thing … in that split second, when I assumed Jaden would want a pink peg, I wanted him to know that he has a choice. He can choose who to love. He can choose who to marry. He can chose what color to drive or what college to go to, or not to go at all. But no matter what he choses, one thing remains the same … his mama will always love and support him. Now secretly I hope he goes to college and marries a sweet girl and into a family who will love him like their own. I wish this for all of my boys and not because I believe it’s the “right” way to live, but rather because it’s an easier way to live. Same sex relationships face many struggles that I cannot identify with. The world is hard enough as it is, living among society norms.

I want my boys to go up to be tolerant and loving. I want them to accept others just as they are, without judgement. I want my boys to know that their mom is a safe place. I am someone who will love them, exactly where they are. I heard it best at a conference: I want my children to grow up loving Jesus, loving the church, and liking to hang out with me when they are grow.

Jaden hesitated. He expected me to hand him a pink peg too. But he put on that silly smile of his and said, “a blue peg mama.” 

  
He was testing me … to see if it really was ok to marry a blue peg. I smiled at him, kissed the top of his head and put his blue peg husband in the passenger seat of his orange car. We didn’t discuss it anymore than that. We just played the game. (which I won 🙂 I don’t really think Jaden thought much of it either. But I do hope that a little seed was planted in his big heart that would grow into a strong confidence that I will love him no matter what game of life he chose to play. Mom can be a safe place.

Perhaps it’s the hippy part of me, perhaps the boys need to be encouraged differently, perhaps I’m wishy-washy. I do feel quite strongly that its not my place to judge others. That’s between them and the big guy upstairs. My job is to love and encourage each of God’s children. Correction, it’s our jobs to love and encourage each of God’s children.

Love, Mel

   
   

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Tiny Little Mommy Gifts

Maybe I’m the only one … but there are so many times that all I can see are the wrong things I’m doing in motherhood. All of my mommy failures staring me right in the face. Then, like little tiny gifts, there are those moments when you think to yourself, “Holy crap, I think I’m doing something right with these little tiny humans!”

The boys have had a bad case of the gimmies. They always seem to be asking for something. I’m doing my best to stand my ground but dang it’s hard. I start convincing myself that I’m a horrible mother, raising just greedy little boys. If I were a better mom, my children would know the value of a dollar and not ask for such silly things.

Then one morning, out of the blue, I receive a tiny little mommy gift. Jaden asked me about recycling. “Mom, what does it mean when you recycle paper?” Well, it means you take the used paper and make new paper so you don’t have to cut down more trees. He pondered on that for a few minutes. Then, he said,”You know, we’ve got a lot of stuffed animals downstairs. What if we put them under the tree on Christmas Eve? Santa could bring them back to the North Pole and give them to his elves. It’d be like recycling.”

He’s getting it! Taking what he has and thinking of how he can bless others with it. I felt the stains of my mommy mishaps fade a little in this awesome moment. I felt like in the midst of all the craziness, I must be doing something right. A tiny little mommy gift.

This past weekend, I took Jaden and a friend to a Christmas breakfast and craft event at the school my mom works at. We collected our supplies, found a spot to sit and set to work making ornaments. Jaden finished his and got up, without saying anything, and handed his completed ornament to the volunteer. She looked confused. Jaden said, “Here, I’m done.”  It didn’t even cross his mind that he could keep it. He was thinking of the Little Warrior Ornament Drive where the kids make ornaments to be donated to a local non-profit. I was proud. So very proud. He worked hard on the ornament – doing his best work, with every intention of giving it away. Just like that – another little, tiny mommy gift. Granted it was followed by a begging session for a book at the book fair – but still, you’ve got to celebrate the little wins, right?

These little, tiny mommy gifts can be easy to miss. Sometimes they are the kinds of ah-ha moments that smack you in the face and you can’t miss them. But other times they are subtle and easily go by unnoticed.

Fellow mama warriors – be on the lookout for these little gifts. They are given to you as a reward for your hard work and sleepless nights worrying about your babies. Use these gifts as fuel and encouragement. You are doing great things.

What little, tiny mommy gifts have you unwrapped lately? I’m excited to hear from you!

Love Mel

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Raking Leaves

Do you remember how much fun it was to jump in the leaves as a kid? Let me tell you a little secret … it’s just as fun when you’re an adult!

A few weeks ago, the kids were going stir crazy inside. So I dropped what I was doing (laundry and cleaning the kitchen) and decided to take them out to blow off some steam. At our new house we have two very large trees in our front and back yard. This equals an enormous amount of leaves in the fall. Leaves that my children have never experienced before.

We started by raking them up into a big pile. We used a combination of a rake, shovels and brooms. Note to self- get child size rakes by next fall. The boys worked hard – piling the leaves up high.

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When I told them it was time to jump in they looked at me like I was nuts! “Mom, we just worked so hard to move the leaves in big pile, and now you want us to jump in it? and ruin all of our hard work? heck no!” Jaden was the first one to jump. Logan and Weston got upset because he was ruining the pile and spreading it all back out. I reassured them that they could play and then we would rake it back up into a big pile again. Once they got the hang of it, there were thousands of laughs and smiles. Time wasn’t a thought and we just played. Me included.

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It was good old fashioned fun. No electronics, no fighting, no mess – just fun.  We played until we were tired. I didn’t tell them it was time to go inside, they asked me to go inside. As I single mom, I often feel like I don’t have the time or energy to do the fun stuff. I used to be the fun mom – letting the boys make a mess with popcorn because it was fun and there was always a vacuum. I was the mom that played as the dirty laundry piled up. The laundry still piles up but I feel like I’m missing out on my children.

So I encouraged my kids to play in the leaves … but the next time I played in the leaves WITH them.

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I buried them in the leaves and I let them cover me too. I didn’t just watch my kids play, I played with them. That’s making memories … I’ve got to remember these moments … I want to be the mom that played WITH her children and not just the mom that had a clean house, laundry folded and watched as her children played. What kind of mom are you? But most importantly, what kind of mom do you want to be?

Love, Mel

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No Power

Earlier this week my parents took Jaden on an overnight to Iowa. That meant, I had a night where it was just Logan, Weston and I. When I was a stay at home mom, it was just the three of us every day. Since I’ve gone back to work, I’m not sure when the last time I had the triplets all on my own. Monday night was a little treat for everyone 🙂

I had wonderful plans of cuddling up on the couch with the triplets, some popcorn and watching a movie, cuddling before bed. We weren’t even through dinner before the bad weather knocked the power out. Then the fun really began …

I couldn’t find a candle for the life of me. I had packed them all away since they were merely decorative – I didn’t really need them, right? So here I am, in the basement, with my iPhone flashlight looking at all these boxes … I must have gone through all of them four times until I found the ONE box I didn’t check – the one at the bottom of the stairs. As in, the very first box I would have come across and I just walked right by it. OYE. The good news is I found plenty of candles. Thank you Jesus for iPhone flashlights!

I quickly grabbed a few things out of the fridge just in case (i.e. my wine for when the kids were sleeping … I had great plans of reading a book by candlelight with my wine) … I then instructed the boys not to open the fridge. They didn’t quite get it … they kept forgetting and would try to get a yogurt or more water in his cup. Drove me a little nutty.

Then, the boys decided they were going to have a sword fight … in the dark … not the smartest idea, as you can imagine. It was only a matter of minutes before someone got clipped in the knuckles and was crying. That’s it, we were done with swords. I asked Weston to give me the one he was holding. He looked me right in the eye and flicked his sword up into the air. It came crashing down on the table – just barely missing all the candles. I had a flash of the house burning down. The sword landed in my wine glass instead … my full wine glass of the-only-cold-white-wine-I-was-going-to-have-that-night … it crashed to the floor, glass and liquid heaven flying in all directions. My usually defiant Weston knew right away and for the first time in my life, he went to the time-out chair on his own without having to be walked there. I instructed Logan to sit on the kitchen tile while I attempted to clean up wine and broken glass off the living room floor … IN THE DARK! Not really the start to my cuddly night I had imagined.

We read half a dozen books and then attempted to go to bed. We walked by iPhone flashlight and I tucked them both in their beds. You would have thought that the complete darkness would have been calming. Not for my boys! Pitch black = gymnastics! They were crazy! And by crazy, I mean it took me two HOURS to get them to settle down and go to sleep. Now, let me also say not the entire two hours was horrible. They were pretty darn cute too! At one point, they were cuddling in Logan’s bed together. Cute until Weston bit Logan. At another point, I played the Frozen soundtrack and Logan and Weston sang along with all the words. Eventually they both snuggled in and fell asleep.

By this point, the house was getting hot and I was tired and uncomfortable. My phone was almost was dead so I decided to go out to the car to plug it in for a while. I walked out the back door to find a HUGE animal in my garbage can. The animal scattered and I yelped loud. Not sure who scared the other more! While sitting in the car, watching the little green lightening bolt, I started to really freak myself out. The street was dark … really dark. It’s usually pretty lit up with the street lights, the church parking lot and the huge light up sign outside. But I couldn’t even see across the street. I felt like when I was a little girl and had to run up the basement stairs “just in case” because it felt like someone was chasing me. I braved it until my phone got to 60% and then I ran back inside, quickly locking the door behind me. I tried to not psych myself out … no such luck. I grabbed one candle, my wine, my journal and decided to write in my bed with the covers over my head.

It came time to blow out the candle. I made sure to put the lighter close to bed, just in case. At 3:30 a.m. I opened my eyes groggy, there was something lit up. All I could think was, “Crap! I thought I blew the candle out! I lit the whole house on fire!” After 2.5 seconds I realized the light was coming from the living room – the power was back on! I got out of bed to check on the house and turn off the lights. I crawled back to bed and treated myself to a few games of Candy Crush before going back to sleep.

Who knew the sound of cartoons would be like sweet music at 6 a.m.? Who knew I would have another surprise?!? I was getting into the shower when I found THIS on the curtain:

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I can’t even tell the story without wiggling all around. Gross-gross-gross! It was time to put on my big girl pants one more time. I grabbed the biggest wad of toilet paper I could. I climbed up on the edge of the tub and I let out a ninja scream as I killed that sucker! ew ew ew I shivered as I threw the ball into the toilet and flushed. I jumped into the shower and as I was washing my face, trying to find my happy place again, I looked up to find ANOTHER SPIDER up in the corner – this time too high for me to reach. Sick – I closed my eyes and took the world’s quickest shower.

By this point, I was so over being the adult. Not just the adult, but the only adult in the house. I was exhausted of playing both mom and dad. There was a very vulnerable moment when I just wanted someone to protect me. I was tired of being strong and I just wanted to be weak. I wanted to fall limp into someone’s arms and be taken care of. I allowed myself to feel this for just a while. Any longer, and the feelings would have started to take root. I can’t afford to be shaken at my foundation right now. My children need me to be strong. So strong I am – Supermom/dad, cook, comforter, disciplinary, protector, handyman, bringer home of the bacon – I’m it all. I’m strong not by desire or any power of my own, I’m strong because my kids need me to be and because I ask for God’s help.

Love, Mel

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Lemonade Stands

The house I grew up on was on the top of a hill at the end of a court. When we were kids, my sister and I loved having lemonade lemonade_standstands down at the corner. We would make a large batch of Kool-aide and lemonade, load up the red wagon with cups and a change box and post ourselves at the corner. True entrepreneurs … such fond childhood memories.

Last week, my mom stopped at a neighbor’s lemonade stand. Lemonade for $.75 or bottled water for $1. After ordering, the girls held up a bowl, “would you like a mint?” Top notch … THOSE girls are entrepreneurs! Mom came home to find a similar bottle of water and a mint on the counter – my dad had stopped at the same stand on way home. I just LOVE that my parents are the ones who stop at lemonade stands.

I remember the thrill I got when we actually got a car to stop. The feel of that quarter in my hand. The rush and anticipation of when the next car would stop. My parents are the kind of cars that stop. They make little dreams come true in those simple acts. My mom even tipped the girls a buck.

When I told my parents how cool it was that they both stopped at the stand, my dad kindly looked at my mom and said, “Your mother is the one that taught me it was important to stop.” Golden. My dad is a pretty cool man … a typical, hard working provider. Successful in his job. But he is also kind, loving and supportive of the women in his life, especially my mom. He is a good-lemonade-buying man.

Maybe next time you pass a lemonade stand, you’ll stop too. It’s important to notice children. To stop for the silly little things that make a child’s summer something to remember. The only thing more beautiful than having parents who stop at lemonade stands is having a father who credits your mother for teaching him the importance of doing so.

I hope I can be as cool as my parents are when I grow up…

Love, Mel

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Filed under Mommyhood Meditations, Posted by Melissa

What are you waiting for?

What are you waiting for? How many of you would answer something like “as soon as we get through the school year” or “as soon as I get that raise” or “when life slows down”? Why have we convinced ourselves that we need to get through something before we are allowed to live? There is no such thing as a perfect time for anything … ok there maybe there is the perfect time to take the cake out of the oven or to wash the hair dye out … but for the other stuff it just doesn’t exist.

Life doesn’t slow down. Things don’t generally getting easier. If it’s not one thing, it’s the other. That’s why you’ve got to make the best with what you’ve got. Take that leap – the longer you wait, the less time you’ll have on the other side. The more time you spend waiting, the less time you’ll have living what you are dreaming about. Make the best with what you’ve got and jump! It is possible to be all jacked up and make your dreams come true. It’s possible to have your life falling apart and to pursue a dream all at the same time.

Circumstances are … well just that – circumstances. They doesn’t define you nor do they tell you what you deserve. They have an impact on your situation, I’ll give you that … but life is too short to focus on circumstances. Don’t let the “what I’m waiting for” hold you back. Act now – all messy and unprepared – make the leap. Let those who are willing to stand beside you help. Give them permission to enter into your unprepared world made up for dirty dishes, unmade beds and unfolded laundry. That way, you might not be ready, but heck you aren’t alone!

There might not ever be the perfect time to make your dreams come true, but we certainly don’t have to do it alone. Love each other. Encourage each other to keep moving forward even when all you want to do is stop for a water break. Keep pedaling – keep moving forward. The greatest memories are made when we make things up as we go. Sort of like an impromptu road trip – where you don’t really know where you are going or how you are going to get there – all you know is that you are driving and you’ll figure it out along the way. You make random stops for junk food at gas stations and you read the road map one city at a time. It’s about the journey – not about how perfectly or quickly you got there.

Next time someone asks you what you’re waiting for – be the one that says “I’m not waiting – I’m going after my dreams, just the way I am!”

Love, Mel

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