Category Archives: Play Dates

Life Goes On

We are home.  Yep … home sweet home.  Hardly.  There are moments when I’m happy to be here and others that I would rather be anywhere else but here!  Yesterday (Sat) morning we all woke up and got moving.  Doug and I took the kids outside while we pulled weeds.  I could really have cared less about pulling weeds, but it was something to keep my mind (and hands) busy.  Weston and Logan slept/played in a playpen in the shade and Jaden ran around like his usual crazy self.

After about two hours I was restless.  I needed to leave the house for a while.  We decided to head over to my parent’s house for a BBQ with my sister and some friends.

It was hard to have a real good time.  I found myself being a real downer on the conversation when I brought up Owen.  I didn’t mean to, I was just speaking what was on my mind.  Either I’m being morbid or others aren’t quite sure how to respond.  I know my friends love me.  Who really knows what the ‘right’ thing to say is when a child dies?  In fact, there is nothing ‘right’ about a child dying.  It goes against the entire circle of life.

We shared a lot of laughs too.  I find it still easy to share in other’s joy and happiness.  That hasn’t changed for me.

The boys are doing well.  Jaden asks a lot of questions.  Like “when is Owen coming back?”  Or “I miss my baby brother, why did he have to die?”  I try to answer them the best that I can.  I just hope I’m doing the right thing with him.

The other two seem to be hanging in there too.  This morning Logan and Weston had fun rolling around on the floor and on each other.


At mom’s, Jaden wanted to go in the hot tub.  Little did we know he would meet his future wife … Violet.  This photo was NOT staged … they were kissing on their own.  What did the adults do?  Giggle!  We are terrible …


it gets better … we got it on tape!

Even though our days are gray, Doug and I are trying to still find the good in life.  Trying to keep going and not get sucked into our own wallow of sorrow.  Doug is much better at this part than I am.  I was stronger in the hospital and now it’s his turn to lead the way.

It’s not any easier yet.  I’m told it will be over time … but I’m thinking it’s going to take an entire lifetime to get easier.






Filed under Outings & Field Trips, Owen's Gone, Play Dates, Posted by Melissa

Adventure #2 – YaYa’s House

This morning was much more successful than yesterday.  Got the kids up and fed.  I successfully fed two babies at once!  Still working on how it works exactly, but I’m getting better at it!  I sit in the bean bag chair with one baby in a boppy on my right side and another baby in my left arm with my left hand wrapped around to hold the bottle (or I use my cheek) to hold it in place.  Then I just burp one at a time.  Too bad I wasn’t better with my toes, then I could maybe feed all three at once.  haha  Baby with the short straw gets the footsie bottle  🙂

I was rather successful getting Jaden to occupy himself while I got the babies packed up, myself pumped and the dishwasher loaded.  Low and behold … I spilled my coffee all over the island!  And it was a full cup of coffee (of course).  Got my copy of the newest Premier Bridal magazine (which features Brittany in a photographer advertisement). Oh well for giving her a copy!  Got the stack of birth announcements too.  Good thing I hadn’t trimmed them yet and it only got the boarders.  Overall nothing truly ruined, but still annoying.

Once I cleaned up my huge mess, I started the car.  When I came back inside, Jaden was standing at the door waiting for me with HUGE eyes.  I could hear Owen screaming in the other room.  As I scooted by Jaden to comfort Owen, he said “I’m sorry mommy, I sat on the baby”.  WHAT  he sat on a baby?  I asked him how that happened and he said it was just an accident – he wanted to sit on the bobby and didn’t see the baby.  DIDN’T SEE THE BABY?  Ugh … I think someone was just being naughty and got scared when Owen started screaming.  tisk tisk Jaden.  And the boy acts out again …

I get Owen calmed down (no injuries from big brother) and start to load the babies into the car.  I get two loaded, come back for the third and Jaden asks me for strawberry milk.  Deep breath – it’s just a drink of milk.  So I say yes but we have to take it on the go and drink it in the car.  So I squeeze some syrup in his new Chuck E Cheese cup and turn to get the milk.  That’s when I hear the cup hit the floor and I turn to see the strawberry pink syrup sprayed all over the floor.  What I want to do is yell “Jaden, what the heck were you thinking?  Can’t you just let one thing be and not make anymore messes?”  But out comes “Oh Jaden, I wasn’t done getting your milk yet.  Accidents happen, but next time wait for mom to help”  Phew, freak out session under control.  I grab a bunch of paper towel and try to scoop up the mess as quick as I can since there are already two babies loaded in the car.  The floor needs to be cleaned, but life just happened and I can’t at the moment.  My shoes stick to the floor as I get Weston and I pray that I make it home this evening before Doug so I don’t have to explain what just happened.

Once in the car, the trip to YaYa’s is a piece of cake!  Kids get unloaded and we feed them right away.  Jaden runs off and gets some one on one attention from uncle Jake.  The world feels balanced again  🙂

My only compliant about adventure #2 is that it went too fast.  It felt like just when I got there, it was time to take the threelets to the doctor for their RSV vaccine.  Once back from the doc I ran up to the hospital to drop off the replacement pump I was renting and drop off a gift and some hats at the NICU.  Then as quick as it started, adventure #2 came to an end and it was time to go home.

What a wonderful day!  It felt so great to get out of the house for a bit.  A day like this spent at home would have felt like it lasted forever!  I’m a busy body at heart and if I didn’t have triplets, I would be on the go all the time.  So it’s a little hard for me to sit in the same four walls for days on end.  I’m really looking forward to when the weather gets nice and it’s easier to get around.

Tomorrow is yet another adventure … taking the boys to the mall to pick out the triplet’s baptism outfits.  They are getting baptized on Super Bowl Sunday … whoops!  I’m thinking if we win the game on Sunday the boys will have to wear something green and gold.  Do they make cheese heads for infants?  A little google search answered that question … and they answer is … YES!  and it comes with a strap!

I’m excited to get out again tomorrow (three days in a row!)  I’m also excited to see how people respond to seeing the triplets.  I”m thinking I might follow at a distance and have Rachael pretend to be the mom.  I think it would be so much fun to people watch.  Rachael is also quick on her feet, I’m thinking she might have a few good come backs for the gawkers.  If you’re lucky I might even have some video to share.  Be good boy/girl and maybe I’ll have a prize for you!  It doesn’t work with Jaden … just thought I’d try it on you!

Off to bed – love you all!

Love, Mel

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Filed under Jaden Story, Play Dates, Posted by Melissa

Adventure #1 – Chuck E Cheese

Jaden doesn’t have school on Thursday or Friday this week.  In an attempt to save my sanity this week, YaYa and I planned a few adventures to get Jaden out of the house.  First up … Check E Chesses!

Here is Jaden on Thursday morning … he wanted to cuddle with his brother while watching cartoons.  He had his arm around Owen and was telling him all about what was going on in the cartoon.

Jaden was holding Owen’s had … so precious!

The morning got rough from there … Jaden wanted to play a game on my computer.  I thought it would help keep Jaden occupied while I got a few chores done and got the boys packed for our adventure.  Boy was I fooled!  The computer game turned into 86,000 questions and Jaden saying “Mom, can you help me?”  “Mom, watch this” “Mom you try it?” “mom” “Mom” “MOM”!  Ahhh!  Then, when I didn’t respond fast enough, it was a fit.  Needless to say, he didn’t really deserve a outting, but I needed it!  It’s got to be so hard for him … used to having all of my attention, and now having to fight for it.  I’m really trying to spend one on one time with him, but there are only so many mins in the day (when all the babies aren’t crying at once). 

When we got to Check E Chesses I got a little stressed out when the car seats weren’t going into the stroller nice. Mom ended up carrying one of the seats in and we got them all put on right in the place.  Phew.  Once all the babies were in their right spot and Jaden was settled, I felt 1,000 times better!

YaYa took Jaden to order some food for lunch .  He looked at the gentleman at the counter and bolding asked “what’s your name?”.  I think it was love at first sight.  Jaden and Ryan were bonded from that moment on.  Ryan came over to check on us.  Jaden looks up at him and sadly says “I’m all out of tokens … so I have to eat my lunch now”.  Ryan leaves and comes back with more tokens for Jaden!  Then they were talking about his lunch and Jaden says that he has allergies.  After learning what he was all allergic to, Ryan tried to give Jaden cotton candy .. but it had soy in it.  So he comes back with a BALL instead!  Now Jaden was getting spoiled!  It was just so cute how Ryan took a liking to him … two buddies!

It was time to head home … and Jaden had one more token to use.  He walked over to play a game.  when he was taking so long, I went around the corner to find him.  I found Jaden standing there , staring at the game, bugged eyes and mouth wide open and the tickets just pouring out on the floor.  the kid won the 50 ticket jackpot on the flying pig game!  It was the greatest look on his face.  He was SO excited!  Funny house little so many tickets will buy you.  We ended up with a pretty cool super hero dart board.  Not too bad for a 4-year-old!

Overall the adventure was a success!  We had lots of fun stories to tell Doug when he got home from work.  And what does Jaden want to do?  Cuddle with his baby again.  Here’s another shot of Jaden watching his shows with Owen when we got home.  Funny how one minute Jaden can cuddle up so nice and the next he is putting blueberries in their faces or trying to sit on them.  Oh Jaden … still trying to adjust  🙂

Adventure #2 for the week?  Going to YaYa’s for the day!

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Filed under Jaden Story, Play Dates, Posted by Melissa

Real Moms Unite!

Marcy and I have talked about having a play date for some time … and we finally made it happen.  I was all excited and asked Doug to find something to do with himself for the day so Marcy and I could have free reign of the house.  Marcy laughed and asked “are you sure we can handle all seven of our kids?”  Marcy couldn’t see my face over the phone, but my eyes bulged out of my head … SEVEN kids?  That’s only three less than 10!  I double checked her math … sure enough, her three kids and my four made seven.  What on earth did I sign us up for?  Maybe Doug could stay home … then we’d have an adult on both levels of the house.  Is it even legal in the state of WI to have a home daycare with two adults and seven kids?

Saturday came and the Schaefer family arrived ready and raring to go!  All decked out in Owl outfits I might add!  The Schaefer girls are themed!  After a bathroom orientation (to ensure no accidents) the kids went into the basement to discover new toys and play, while the mamas sat upstairs with the babies – drinking coffee.  There was the normal amount of questions, mommy calls from the bottom of the stairs and disagreements on what to play.    Things were going well!

Now you need to know that Marcy is both a huge supporter of me AND she brings out the gosh honest truth in me.  So when she asked me how things were going, I had a moment of bare naked truth.  I told her it was rough.  I expected being a stay at home mom would be hard, but thought it would also have its perks.  What a crock!  It’s hard … really hard!  And … take this with a grain of salt, I don’t like it!  I love my kids to the moon and back, but sometimes I just don’t want to be a mom.  For just one day.  Just to get a break.  But being a mom is one job you can never really escape.

When going to the bathroom, Jaden is talking to me thru the door.  In our family, we don’t always close the bathroom door, but since staying home, I close it just to have a few mins where I can’t be climbed on or touched.  Getting thrown up on and peed on.  Not being able to do what you want to do – the kids decide that!  No matter where I am in the house, I think about if the triplets are really ok on their own.  Of course they are!  They are all in their car seats, not driving the car for the first time!  And when I’m in the same room as them, listening to every grunt and groan making sure they are still breathing.  Now I know I need a chill pill … in fact I wish I could take 15 chill pills and let the afternoon roll by.  But being a mom never escapes you.  Let’s be real, I wouldn’t be able to check out … the guilt is haunting.  So what do I do with all this?  Let it consume me?  Take over my life and make me miserable?

Hell no!  I’ve got to find a way to conquer.  It will not control me!  (ok I’m starting to feel like I’m leading a rally of moms in bathrobes, curlers in their hair and a cup of coffee in their right hand).  My husband told me point-blank – “This is your life now.  You need to find a way to adjust”.  While at the time it was infuriating (since I was looking for a few “poor babies” and a pep talk on how great I was doing) – he’s right.  (Don’t tell him I said that tho haha).  Marcy hit it right on the head – survival mode.  Yes, I laugh and I find something to enjoy each day – but I’m surviving.  I need to do what needs to get done.  I’m a real mom.  I struggle and I have my bad days (Doug can confirm that if you don’t believe me!)  Some times I don’t like being a mom, but I love my kids!

We survived our Saturday playdate and dare I say we enjoyed ourselves?  We took a picture just to prove that we did in fact have seven kids and survived!

Here’s proof they even had fun!

Jaden kept asking Marcy if he could hold her baby.  We got the two on the couch and Jaden kept “whoochie cooching” Mira.  Holding her hand … intertwining their legs … Marcy had to remind him not to get fresh a few times!  Oh Jaden, starting so young!  She is SO darn cute, I can at least say he’s got great taste!


Chapstick is awesome!  Not sure how we started talking about it, but Jaden and Veda tell how awesome  Chapstick is.  The Japanese even use it (says Jaden).

So three cheers to a great playdate, getting the coffee shakes because I forgot to eat breakfast with my five cups of coffee and to being a real mom!

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Filed under Jaden Story, Play Dates, Posted by Melissa