Tag Archives: triplets

A 5 year tale of transformation

5 years ago this afternoon, a few new friends were over making iron on t-shirts with the aspiration of starting a mom’s group at church. I didn’t know how these women would become a life support for me while Owen was on life support (and continue to support me in the years to come). Little did I know that Tony Maroni’s pizza would be the last meal I had with all four of my children healthy. I didn’t know my little sister would be a rock at home so I could hop in the ambulance and focus on breathing.

These past five years started with a mother’s worse nightmare coming true … and have taught me what healing feels like. It’s taught me how surrendering brings strength. When you can’t breath … a mother’s hug, a friend’s card in the mail, a therapist’s ear, a Sunday morning church service, a family remembering your baby brings the air you need. My family and friends have literally breathed for me at times.

To my friends and family, thank you for walking these 5 years with me. Thank you for carrying me when I wasn’t able to stand and for bringing the sunshine through my rain storm.

I still cry during the month of May at random times of remembering what life was like. I am still moved by other women’s stories of loss and wish there was something I could say or do to lessen their pain, knowing all too well there isn’t anything I can say or do but listen, pray and just show up.

Thank you for being a part of a beautiful story of healing. You have helped me. You have helped my family. Without you, this might not have been a story of healing but rather just tragedy. Owen’s story is a beautiful tale of transformation. A beautiful monarch butterfly and you as the cocoon that have wrapped me with protection and shelter.

As Logan and Weston have told me, Owen lives in my heart now.

Love, Mel


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Filed under Grief, Owen's Gone, Posted by Melissa

Happy Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother’s Day to all my mama readers! Moms – Grandmas – Step Moms – Birth Moms – Godmothers – the list goes on forever …. And a special mother’s day to all those mom’s of angels.  Some years it hits us harder than others.

For me, it was a good year – of course I missed Owen – but the celebration of the day out weighed the sadness this time.  I recognize that it might not be true every year – or true for all the upcoming anniversaries and holidays that remind me so much of when I had three babies on earth.  The spring reminds me of the HUGE triplet stroller that I used to load up and take all the kids on a walk around the block just to get out of the four walls of my house.  The open sidewalk was the only place I didn’t feel totally over sized.  The spring reminds me of meeting a friend at the park with her two adorable boys – we lost touch until a year after Owen’s death and are now great friends.  It reminds me of when my street was under construction and I used to rotate the triplets in the bumbo in front of the front door to the bay window to the coffee table – they would sit and watch the trucks for hours!

When I think of Mother’s Day I always think of this picture:


and this one ….



It’s the only photo(s) I have with all four of my children.

I go back and forth between feeling a huge whole in the middle of our family and not being able to imagine how I would keep up with a third one. Please don’t ever take what I just said as though I wouldn’t want a third one or that I would be able to handle it.  I just can’t mentally picture what it would be like to have another two-year old into the mix of our daily lives.  Weston and Logan keep me on my toes!!

This year, the boys and I went to church in the morning and then to my mom’s for the afternoon.  We walked to the park and played for a while. Then three little girls came to play too …. triplet girls.  What are the odds?  A message or a sign from God?  A coincidence?  I’m not sure what the message was or if it was meant for me – but it did catch my breath to watch Logan and Weston play along side the three girls.  It was pain strikingly clear that one of my children was missing at the park.  There should have been three girls and four boys (including Jaden).

I got my annual picture with the boys again this year.  The boys were already in their pj’s for the car ride home.  What little monkeys!  But they are, after all, the very reason why I’m a mom today.  I told Jaden this morning that I had him to thank for being a mom – he was the one that gave me my supermom powers!



Happy Mother’s Day to everyone!!

Love, Mel


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Filed under Mommyhood Meditations

24 Crazy Hours

My cute triplet boys are quickly unraveling out of control!  Just last week, Weston learned how to climb out of his crib … and it’s only gotten worse!

Let me preface this story by saying this all takes place within 24 hours – and Doug is traveling for business.

Yesterday, the triplets went down for their naps as normal.  I enjoyed the peace and quiet.  Emptied the dish washer.  Made a few phone calls.  Finished counting some of the sales from the rummage sale this past weekend.  I was on the phone with a client (I’m helping a military couple plan their wedding in Milwaukee) when I heard the boys start to giggle and talk back and forth.  I remember thinking “Ok I’ve got to wrap this up … I’ve only got a few minutes before hell breaks loose.”

I was just getting off the phone when I heard a big thud.  It sounded like a battery operated owl candle that is sitting on top of the bookcase.  I figured Logan must have found something to throw at it.  Then the noise I never expected to hear …. the sound of the door trying to be opened from the inside.  One of them was out of their cribs again!  I quickly got up to see who it was … and to my surprise it was LOGAN!

Great, now I have two 17 month olds who know how to climb out of their cribs.  I am SO not ready for toddler beds!

The rest of the day was pretty well-behaved.  My mom watched the kids so I could go see a possible wedding venue for the wedding I’m helping with (thank you YaYa!) and they were in bed and sleeping by the time I got home.

This morning I could hear them start to cry around 6:30am.  I drifted in and out of sleep while they were playing and occupying themselves.  I finally dragged myself out of bed around 7:15.

Well the first thing I noticed was that Logan was bottomless … diaper and all.  He was flapping in the wind!  (and loving the fresh air I might add)  Then I saw Weston.  He had rocked back and forth in his crib to move it back against the wall – so he was just in reach of the humidifier.  He had the humidifier by the cord and had tipped it on its side, with the water pouring out onto the floor.  I walked over to stop him and stepped into a puddle of something wet on the floor.  Logan had peed in between the crib rails and on to his bummer and on the floor.  Yep … it was gonna be one of those days!

I managed to get a diaper on Logan and get most of the mess cleaned up before I had to focus on getting Jaden ready for school.  I surprisingly got him out the door with a minute to spare.  I no sooner watched the bus drive by, when I heard the garbage can lid shut. Have I told you my kids are part racoon and like to eat out of the garbage?  I hurried into the kitchen to find the boys shaking the empty Bugles bag over their head.  The itty bitty crumbs were flying all over the kitchen like confetti!  AHHHH STOP!!!  I grabbed the broom and swept it all in the corner.  I didn’t even bother to get the dust pan at this point.  WE. MUST. GET. OUT. OF. THIS. HOUSE!

So I tackled each kid to the floor, wrestled some pants and socks on each of them and we headed out to run some errands.  Cars are one of the few places its preferred to strap your kids down so they can’t move 🙂

Now brace yourself if you happen to work in retail.  I did too…but DANG what are these companies thinking?  They brand themselves for being a one stop shop for the soccer mom … yet they don’t carry carts that hold more than one kid.  I could bring in my stroller, but the point of walking around your store is to buy stuff, right?  I walked in one end of the Super Wal-Mart to find only ‘regular’ carts.   I walked to the complete other end of the building to see if there was one there. YES I found one!  Crap … both straps are shredded and useless.

Tell me, why do you even bother having this cart out?  Just to tease us moms with more than one child?  I can hear WalMart talking to me:  Haha you could have shopped with your kids buckled safely, but as payment for having a litter of children you now have the pleasure of wrestling your toddlers to sit in the basket of the cart while you price compare every item (so you can afford your family of four or more).  We sure do hope your children don’t fall out and break their heads.  We apologize for any inconvenience.

Needless to say by the time we were ready to check out, Weston had taken a bite of a banana peel, was slightly covered in banana juice from sitting on the bunch, the bread had a footprint in it and the envelope to the birthday card I bought was crumpled in a ball.

Just when you think you might lose it … the only lanes that were open were express!  Yep, 10 items or less.  I said “screw that!”  and I checked out through the express lane with my 30+ items … proudly.  haha

I’m pretty sure running errands was still more enjoyable than staying home this morning … but yet again, I emphasise … this was only the last 24 hours.  What other choice do I have but to laugh?

Here’s to the next 17 years being even more crazy!  and thank goodness for wine!

Love, Mel


Filed under Outings & Field Trips

Easter Preparations

Easter is almost here … crazy.  I naturally think about what we were doing last year.  Last year Doug and I were so excited to bring the triplets up to Green Bay for the first time.  I remember their matching “My First Easter” onesies.  I can remember taking tons of pictures as it was the first time many of Doug’s relatives had met the new babies.  Then I remember printing the photos for the boards at Owen’s funeral … that quick a happy memory is brought back to reality.

I’m not really sure how I feel about Easter.  We are going up to Green Bay again to visit Doug’s family.  I might be the only wife who gets excited to see her in-laws 🙂  I don’t have an extended family to offer my kids and family is so important.  My heart is so happy seeing Jaden run around with the cousins and having so much fun.  I’m really glad Doug agreed to make the drive up again this year.

In the same breath I fear doing the same thing.  Will Owen’s absence feel greater by being in the same house?  With the same people?  Every second of reality being echoed by a memory of what used to be.  I welcome the pain.  It’s how I know I’m still alive – I feel.

The hype of the one year anniversary continues to build.  I’ve been thinking of what I want to do to honor the day.  I don’t want it to pass like just any other day.  There are people who I think of every day that should be recognized.  I still think of the paramedics who flooded the nursery sometimes when I walk in to change a diaper.  I picture the view from the ambulance front seat when I drive past the fire station on my way to the grocery store.  There is no escaping these memories and flash backs.  The come without warning and leave a trail of raw pain.

I’ll figure out a way to remember Owen in a special way on Easter.  I still have a few days to figure it out.  To prepare myself for what I may or may not feel/think.

Here are a few of my favorite pictures from last Easter.  So much life and wonder in these.  I miss Owen.

(Logan, Owen, Weston)

My sister just bought the boys’ Easter outfits – just wait to see what they’ll have on this year.  I’ll be posting pictures for sure!

Love, Mel


Filed under Grief, Holidays, Posted by Melissa

Weston = bird boy

With the weather getting warmer these days, I’ve learned something about Weston – he LOVES birds.  We are talking total freak out – will watch them out the back door for hours kind of love.  I grabbed my iPad to video tape a freak out session while trying to get the kids in the house after running Jaden to school.  Hence the pj’s in the video 🙂  Enjoy!

Love, Mel


Filed under Posted by Melissa, Triplets

Mountain Tops & Valleys

Lately I’ve been thinking about how much I would love to be able to go back to being in the hospital with Owen.  Everything felt crystal clear.  I knew what my role was.  I knew what I had to do.  My family was there.  We didn’t have to worry about the small stuff – we were in the big stuff and it was clear.

Pastor Chris spoke this past Sunday about what he called “mountain top moments.”  Those moments when the curtain between the past and the future is drawn back and we have a glimpse of what tomorrow has for us.  I knew I would be planning a funeral.  But I also knew that many great things would come from my family’s tragedy.   I felt calm, strong and confident.  I said my prayers, knowing what my heart desired.  I prayed that His would be done.   I prayed for the strength so that I would come through this pain, stronger and closer to Him because of it.  I prayed for others strength rather than for my own.

I find myself now yearning for that closeness again.  I want to feel His grace on my shoulders.  I want to have that clarity again.  I would do anything to freeze that time forever.  Go back to sleeping in the hospital next to Doug, with the sounds of the machines in the background. The late night talks with Owen’s nurses.  The constant flow of visitors.  Everyone taking care of one another.  Sharing chairs.  Sitting in this tiny room like gerbils – all over each other.  If I had the choice, I would go back to that time.

But I can’t.  I cannot turn back the clock.  I cannot recreate something so tender.  It was a tease, just a peak at what God had in store for us.  The five days we had was a gift.  A fleeting glimpse of a gift.

So we come down off the mountain and are where?  In the valley …. where pain and suffering are promised.  We are living in a world in which is un-fix-ably broken.  Where innocent words of “oh are they twins?” stabs you in the heart making it hard to breath.  Always unexpected – a smile in line while waiting for a cup of coffee.  Then the innocent words and the heartache sets in.

Someone asked me if I was always pained or annoyed with the dumb things people said.  When shopping with all three triplets, we were a FREAK show.  I’m talking show stopper – I began to pretend that I couldn’t hear people just so I could get my shopping done.  I miss being the freak show.  I was different.  I felt chosen – these triplets were spontaneous.  God chose me as their mother.  He picked me.  I felt special and now I feel like I blend in.  Twins are not nearly as eye catching as triplets.  Funny how big of a difference just one more makes.  My answer to the question?  It was easy to make a joke out of the dumb things people said before.  Laugh about making a t-shirt that answered all their questions so they wouldn’t have to bother me.  Video tape people’s dumb questions while at the mall.  Quote “Holy stroller Batman!” and laugh til my belly hurt.  Now the questions take my breath away.  They are the same dumb questions.  I want to correct them but the pain doesn’t always allow me.  It’s a pain that I didn’t have when Owen was still alive – in the hospital even.   I wasn’t the invisible triplet mom then.

How do I get back on the mountain top?  How do you escape the pains of living in the valley?  I don’t think we can.  We are aren’t meant to live on the mountain top.  But the glimpses are meant to give us hope.  They are something to hold onto when things get hard.  God is constantly working in our lives.  Change is inevitable.  Things are passing away but new things are always on the horizon.

Yes, my son died.  But a daughter lived.  Yes, I have to watch Jaden mourn the loss of his brother.  But I also get to watch him grow in his faith at the young age of five.  The undoubting mind of a child.  So we live in a world of pain and sorrow, but I cling to the hope of tomorrow.

Love, Mel


Filed under Grief

A good birthday, indeed.

We woke up to snow this morning … yep, the white nasty stuff.  We sang happy birthday to all three of the boys this morning before Doug headed off to work.  I was picking out clothes for Jaden and suggested he wear green and blue for the birthday boys.  He reminded me that he needed orange too.  I found some orange Halloween pumpkin socks.  He suggested orange pants.  Then I remembered we had a pair of orange sweatpants from a pumpkin costume.  So here is what Jaden picked out to wear today in honor of his brother’s birthday:

Dear heavens I hope his teachers get the drift that he dressed himself today 🙂

After I walked Jaden to the bus stop, the triplets and I had a laid back morning.  We played with the new musical instruments the boys got a their party.  I drank a pot of coffee.  By myself.  Didn’t get to shower though …  That’s ok, playing is more fun anyways.  I got the boys dressed in some new shirts … blue and green of course and snapped their 12 month photos.

We even snuck a play date in with Layla …  The three babies had a ton of fun stealing each other’s sippy cups at lunch and popping all the balloon I blew up for a mock party.

Doug has been saying since the triplets were born that he wants them to be walking before their first birthday.  I’ve said he’s freaking nuts!!!  Walking babies are much harder than crawling babies.  In just the past few days, the triplets started to stand on their own, without holding onto something.  Wouldn’t you know … Weston took a step today!  That little booger.  He got so excited with me hooting and hollering that he couldn’t stand up on his own …. he just kept bouncing.  So Doug didn’t get his whole wish … but a little bit 🙂

As I’m watching the boys play, I started watching the snow falling.  They were those huge fat flakes … the kind that make you want to dance in the snow.  I started thinking about Owen and angels … and heaven.   An image of an angel baby with big fluffy white feathered wings … what if, just what if, the angel babies were celebrating Owen’s first birthday so hard, their feathers were falling from heaven.  The snow.  You know like one of those pillow fights from the movies with the girls jumping on beds in their underwear, hitting each other with pillows and feathers exploding all over the place.

The orange marigolds I planted in memory of Owen are still in bloom.  The bright orange color showing through the falling snow was a reminder that he is here.  (these are actual photos of the plant outside our front door)

We enjoyed some more cake tonight too … Owen’s smash cake.  Along with the lit orange candle on the dinner table, it was our way of including him in our family dinner.  The boys were much more ‘dainty’ with it this time around.  They still needed baths though 🙂

Lately I’ve been having these very real experiences of feeling Owen.  I feel like a flake for admitting this.  I swear I’m not trying to go all Jerry Springer physic on you.  But I just have these feelings like he is really here.  Sometimes I want to reach out and rub my hand across the top of his head like I used to.  I can still feel it.  His hair was the smoothest of them all and his head was the roundest.  I want to kiss the top of his head like I do with Logan and Weston.  Instinct.  I do it so often, most times I don’t know I’m doing it.  Instinct.

When we were in the hospital I was in tune to these feelings.  I had time to sit and absorb.  To feel.  To think.  The rest of the world seemed to stand still while we were in this small room.  I was able to think.  Real life is nothing like the protected little hospital room.  It’s fast paced, racing time, chaos.  Time is limited and there is not silence for me to think in.  I remember searching for him … praying that Owen would come back.  Certain he was not in the child’s body that lay in my son’s hospital bed.  Leaving a light on for him, just hoping he’d find his way back to me.  I didn’t know if he would stay, but I didn’t want his spirit to leave me.  It’s been nearly 6 months before I’ve been in tune with this feeling again.  He’s just been right here … you know when something works for so long on its own, you forget what it’s like to not have it.  I haven’t felt a need to search for him.  I haven’t felt him leave me.

Until that night with the lanterns.  He left me and now he’s back.  He’s back so real I want to reach out and touch him sometimes.  Please don’t mistake this for some Hollywood type movie where the guy is talking to his dead wife and people on the street look at him like he’s nuts – talking to himself.  I have complete awareness of reality … I’m not seeing dead people.  The feeling is just strong.

As I sit on the couch with my glass of wine, typing my little heart out, I hear the triplet’s cooing and talking in bed.  What the heck is going on?  If the babies wake up in the middle of the night, they cry, yell and scream.  They don’t play.  Has Owen made a birthday visit to them?  Are Logan and Weston talking to Owen?  Am I sitting on my couch listening to my angel baby talk with my earthly babies?  Or is it just a coincidence?  Am I trying to convince myself of the things I want to believe in?

I suppose this is what faith is about.  Not always having the proof you want in order to believe what you should.  I try to listen to my heart.  If I want to believe these magical and spiritual happenings are true …. what is the harm?  If this is God’s gift to me on my boy’s birthday then who I am I to turn it away?  Thank you for these blessings.  Thank you for allowing my heart to be open and to feel the holy spirit.

It’s been a good birthday … a good birthday indeed.

Love, Mel


Filed under Milestones, Photo Shoots, Posted by Melissa, Triplets

Party Recap

I can’t believe the triplet’s birthday party has come and gone.  I spent most of Friday at my mom’s house getting ready … making food, hanging decorations … getting organized.  When I finally made it home (about 12:30 am) I settled into bed with my iPad to play a game of Family Feud (to wind down).  Then Weston started to cry … then Jaden started to cry.  I unplugged the iPad and headed to Jaden’s room, figuring he woke up and wanted to know where I was since I wasn’t home for bed time.  Then I heard the sound …. of him throwing up in bed.  Seriously?  I picked him up and carried him as fast as I could to the bathroom.  Just in time for him to throw up on the floor.  Great.  Then the screams from the triplets.  Both of them.  Even better.  In all of my planning for the party, having sick kids was not one of the options.  Fantastic.

Jaden pretty much went right back to sleep after I got him all cleaned up.  Doug had the babies.  I disinfected the floors.  After only an hour we were all back in bed.  I think that might be a record time!

That was the most stressful part of the whole party.  Seriously.  It went smoothly.  Kids were well-behaved.  The company was amazing and the food was tasty (thank you mom and Rae for doing most of the cooking).

It was hard to pick just a few photos of the party to share … so I picked a bunch.

I created a photo birthday banner.  I have taken photos of the babies at least once a month with the same stuffed animals so show how much they grow.  I have to say I like the first half of the banner much more than the second half.  Owen was in the first 6 photos.

The triplets received “Birthday Boy” shirts from a good friend of the family.  When I got Jaden dressed for the day, he asked me “why doesn’t my shirt say Happy Birthday to my babies?”  Ummm good question.  So I quick made an iron for his red shirt just in time for the party.  He doesn’t look really happy in the picture.  But in real life he was pretty excited to sport his birthday party shirt.

Smash cakes!  Dear friends of mine made the boy’s birthday cake.  They also brought the boys their very own cake to dig into.  I loved that there were three.  Owen got his first cake after all.

and the photo booth!!!  Not only was it just plain fun, but photo booths and the triplets are a fond memory.  Back in January/February Sarah, Rachael, Abby and I took the triplets to the mall.  We ended up in a photo booth and it was one of the funnest things I have ever done.  ever.  You bet your bottom that we reenacted the photo at the party.  No other words but it majorly sucked that Owen wasn’t there too.

Presenting the cake!!  I’m not kidding, it was better than our wedding cake.  Just sayin’  It was the triplet’s colors.  It had owls.  One layer was pumpkin.  I know it’s stupid … but I felt like it was such a tribute to the triplets.  The cake screamed that there are three babies turning one today.  It celebrated my three boys … It was perfect.  Thank you so much Anne, Mandy and Jessica!  Seriously … angels.  I’m going to keep looking for your wings 🙂

I was inspired by Pinterest … but here is my attempt at a dessert table.  (The candies were the triplet’s colors too!)

Gift opening was a bit nuts … but all the kids had lots of fun!

Nothing better than a bucket on your head!

Gift opening is not gift opening unless tissue paper is thrown.

Logan trying out his new car seat from Grandma.

Here is the party waiting for the babies to taste their first cake!

Weston loved the cake.  He just kept shoveling it in … laid back in his chair, eating himself into a sugar coma.

The “damage.”  I don’t know what I really feel when I look at this photo … do I feel sad and angry that Owen wasn’t there to eat his cake?  Or do I feel a sense of comfort that he was there.  Maybe it’s the color orange.  Or it’s the third of something that gives me comfort.  Whichever it is, Owen was there.  I know it.

The boys got a bath in the sink.

What party is complete without a pinata???  Meet Mr. Owl.

Jaden had his game face on … he didn’t pull the string that released the candy.

But Andy did!

Then, maybe my favorite part of the party.  We took everyone out to the park behind my parent’s house.  There we listened to Owen’s Song in the quiet and darkness.  Each family lit an orange lantern and sent their birthday wishes to Owen in heaven.  Doug and I went first … Doug took off his shirt to show off his warrior tattoo.  We both felt such a feeling of pride that we were blessed to have Owen as our son.  God gave him to us …. we were chosen to be his parents.  Owen.  We love you.

Everyone took turns lighting theirs off … one by one they went up into the sky.

Here is a picture of Owen’s godparents, my brother and sister, hugging after sending off their gift to Owen.

Everyone just stood and watched each lantern float away.  They were mesmerizing … I watched each one until I couldn’t see them anymore.  I hope Owen get them.

At the end of the night, the boys were zonked out.  I think they take after me … party animals!

So all this worry and stress.  It all worked out.  I think part of it had to do with me “letting go and letting God.”  From my past experiences, when I give up my control and try to just go with it …. it’s so much better.  Why can’t I just remember that from the start?

I’m so thankful to my friends and family that made the party amazing.  I’m amazed more and more by how humanity comes together and makes something beautiful out of something tragic.   I would do anything to have him back.  The hole in my heart will never be filled.  I still have flash backs.  I still go back to the moments when I held him after his surgery … empty.  I want so badly to go back to those moments and hold him again.  Those thoughts are interrupting and still take the wind right out of me.

Today is just a good day.  Only a day.  I don’t know what tomorrow will bring.  I might fall to my knees in tears before the night is over.  For now though, I’m going to enjoy the good.  I’m going to celebrate my three boys here on earth.

Someone said to remember that I can’t only wear orange.  I corrected this individual (who I know had good intentions) … but yes I can  because I can only hug/kiss Logan and Weston.  It’s only fair that I do something only for Owen.  It’s not that I love him more than the boys still with me.  I just love him different.  I can’t give him constant hugs and kisses like I can with Logan and Weston.  So I remember and love him uniquely.  Not because I want to, but because I have to.  I’m the mother to a warrior after all …

Love, Mel


Filed under Holidays, Milestones, Owen's Gone, Posted by Melissa, Triplets

Being a Godparent – part 2

Silly me …. After going back into my email this morning to read some comments on the posts from last night, I realized there are a few ideas that my sister has done with the triplets!!!!

A. She set up a savings account with both of her godchildren (Jaden and Owen). On important days in their lives she will put a little money in their accounts. Then when they are older, they will have this account to do something special with their godmother. The most important part of this gift? She put a lot of thought into it. And its not just a one time giving gift … It’s a commitment that she is going to continue her relationship and will be there when they are older.

B. She made each of the boys (because she didn’t want to leave one out) a baptism box. Its a beautiful wooden box with a plaque with their name and baptism date on them. Its a keepsake for the gifts they received. Their christening gowns, a newspaper from the day, their certificate, candle, a knit blanket they received from our church and pictures. Something really special for the items that are so special.

C. I bought a personalized picture frame for each of the godparents. I had pictures printed the day of the baptism (thank you one hour photo!) and then put them in the frame before giving them. It was my way of showing them that I hold them in a special place and I recognize and value that they are special to my children’s lives.

The triplets were also baptized on Super Bowl Sunday …. And the packers won!!!! The party was green and gold. I made each godparent a shirt to wear during the game … It said godmother (or godfather) where the G was the Green Bay packer G. I was pretty proud of myself 🙂

D. I don’t know if rachael does this because she is an aunt or if its because she’s a godmother, but it doesn’t really matter. She always gets the boys their holiday outfits …. She got them Christmas sleepers for their first Christmas. She bought them St. Patty’s day outfits. She finds ways to let them know she is always thinking about them.

I hope you are motivated :). Now off to the terrible rainy and cold weather and laundry for me. I’ve got to get Jaden early for a doctor’s appointment today. Oh how I wish I didn’t have to go out in this crappy weather! I’m thinking I might have earned myself a pretzel …. What do you think?

Love, Mel


Filed under Mommyhood Meditations, Posted by Melissa

11 Months Old

The triplets are going to be a year old already next month.  Every month I think “this is my favorite age” then they get a little bit older and I think the same thing all over again.  I did the same thing with Jaden.  Although, having a five-year old is so interesting!  I love to watch his personality emerge and how he mimics Doug and I.

The triplets still aren’t walking … but are getting pretty close.  They love table foods.  Weston is still attached to his nook.  Logan has a smile that can charm anyone’s pants off.  Weston can wave “buh bye” – only when he wants to of course.  Logan’s trick?  He shacks his head back and forth when you tell him “no no no”.

Less than a month and we’ll be celebrating their first birthday.  It’ll have a silver lining of course.  Owen “would have been” one.  I don’t want every holiday or life even to be about how Owen isn’t there.  We have three boys who ARE there.  I still want to celebrate the boys we still have on earth.  They are just important.  It doesn’t mean that I won’t be thinking about Owen … I would give anything to have him back.  But, we have a lot to still be thankful for and we are going to celebrate it!

Love, Mel


Filed under Milestones, Posted by Melissa, Triplets